Thursday, December 31, 2009

Books

I LOVE books.

I know, you are surprised. Very surprised. I'm one of those people who say, "hey, I have a book for that" for practically every problem. I was trying to figure out what to write a book report on, but I'm not sure I can concentrate that long yet, esp. since I'm reading about five books at once again, because Christmas came. Silly Christmas. My mom and dad are no help. :)

My dad got me "Bless Me Father, For I Have Kids" by Susie Lloyd. He got me her first book, too. She has great Catholic mommy humor. Truly great. A way with words.

My husband got me the Pioneer Woman cookbook. It is her blog, only in a book. Tons of pictures, and delightfully simple, yummy, ranch food that is not diet food. GREAT book. She is sooooo funny. You've never seen a cookbook like this!

I'm working through the Story of the World series with Gabe. He begs me to read it every night. Happily, it is as objective as it can really get, being history and all. It's also very good as WORLD history and as a story book. It includes Chinese, African and any other history that is written anywhere. Not just wester civ. Exactly what I needed. Also, she wrote "The Well-Trained Mind" and other books, and that is very educational as well!

A new book to us, but one that comes highly recommended, is "Boundaries". I have a feeling it's a truly great one. Really. It covers relationships with EVERYONE, even your own self. And it covers spiritual warfare, too. It puts problems in perspective: only you can actually solve them, don't blame anyone else. Very correct.

The kids are teaching the two year old to play the wii, and it is going very well. I have to go for now, but I will try to link those paragraphs to amazon for you later.

Happy reading!!

Happy New Year

I figure I've got 3.5 seconds before Gianna would like a word with me. She is six weeks old tomorrow! Wow. That was quick. She sleeps pretty well, but she seems to seriously want time with Daddy when he gets home, which is 11 pm. A bit late, but I'm happy to hand her over and go to sleep til she gets hungry or he gives her back. I think it's hilarious. Not really. But an odd trend for one so young.

Today is the end of a decade. The last time that happened, I was on my way north from LA, with my husband, about three months along with our oldest. We were driving a Saturn SC2 with a cat in it. Said cat is still alive, and now belongs to my sister. SC2 is long gone. Sadly.

This year was quite a year. Really quite a year. Some things I probably should not say too much about, yet strangely enough those were some of the biggest things. Probably the biggest thing, to sum up, was that we got out of debt. All of it. Except the mortgage. Wow. In fact, I just got a letter from HSBC that my dinky little $300 credit card has been cancelled due to lack of use. I was going to do that myself, but oh well, too late now. Grr.... Our credit cards were paid off last year almost to the dollar by our tax refund. We have not touched them since. I've also been such a good girl that my new debit card allows me to withdraw enough in one swoop to fix the car when it breaks. Last time I had to write a check.

Why? Because of Dave Ramsey. We LOVE Dave Ramsey. If he was Catholic, he should be a saint.

The other big thing this year is that we had baby #5. Gianna is doing great, and we are happy to have her. She is just beautiful. All the kids adore her. Daddy adores her. It's funny, because at the start of this decade, I was totally panicked about just one, because we had no money. Now, I have five. What happened? A lot. Much of it spiritual, much of it circumstance, but as Obi-Wan Kenobi says in the Star Wars movies, "There is no such thing as coincidence." Coincidence is my personal reason for believing in God. Just the way He speaks to me, I guess.

Will I be having five more children this decade? While physically possible, I don't really think so. But I can't really rule it out, either. I am in my early 30's after all. A new house and van will have to happen, though. Seriously getting tight around here.

Gianna says my time is up. Have a blessed new year, new decade, and get busy turning over a new leaf. It's exciting!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Commercial Break

Yes, the last post was November 25th. I know. I am sorry.

I think I will say that I will be back right after Christmas. I just need to regroup. Took too much on in the home organization department, but when you can't walk in your kids' room anymore, you don't want it that way come Christmas.

So a lot of stuff is gone, a lot is in the carport, and a lot is in the crib. The Christmas cards are bought. The pictures taken. The baptism has occurred and was lovely.

But despite the nagging bloggy thoughts I'm having, I'm going to go balance my checkbook instead. I will be back. I promise.

MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Introducing Gianna Caeli






Our little girl was born!

Gianna Caeli (chay-lee) was born on Friday night at 7:37 pm at Northwest Hospital. She was 7 lbs 8 oz and 19.5 in. At her first ped. appt she was only 6.15! I have never had a baby this small! However, she is healthy and very cooperative, since she stopped labor just long enough for us to go to the adoptions of Gabe and Josh! Lucky us! She has been a very good baby, doing lots of sleeping and eating, and when she's awake, she just looks around with her great big eyeballs. Hardly a peep! I shall detail a birth story later. I was intrigued to find out what a hospital birth was like after three midwife center water births. I have to say, I like epidurals, even if they are not perfect. There's good and bad for both choices, and I'm just so glad we have so many options where we live!

Thanks for all your prayers, they were very much felt. I just couldn't believe it when the birth was already over in half the time it has taken in the past!

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Today's doings and a book report

Today we went to the hospital because some sort of clear liquid went down my legs. But no contractions. So we went to the hospital, and it was nothing much. Thanks to two friends who babysat in roundabout fashion while I watched TLC and the Discovery Channel at the hospital. Wheee! What did I watch? Adoption Story and Baby Story. I watched Dennis Miller until he decided it was fun to make dumb Pope jokes, which I feel are beneath him. Change of channel. One lady in Baby Story had twins at home on the floor, labor happened so fast! SCARY!

There is no labor going on here.

We have been remodeling the kitchen, and it is pretty much done, and it is gorgeous. Will have to post some pics of that.

I was thinking how much I wish I could insert a microchip in my husband's head. That microchip would contain the books I've been reading. He almost never reads what I read, and me telling him what it was just doesn't do it justice at all. It seems this is a common wife complaint. Guys tend to have the attention span only for magazines. Oddly, the sci fi and fantasy books he does read are actually pretty tough reading. And not what I would seek out. I do read them sometimes. We both really like George RR Martin's fantasy series, but he's putting off Dance With Dragons FOREVER, and it's killing me! But that's an example of something we both like.

I thought earlier in this blog that I might change the tack of things somewhat. It might be fun to do book reports. I know Barb wants me to. So far I've only got to recommendations, but I'd like to actually do a sort of book journal, and copy whole paragraphs in here for folks to peruse and reflect upon. I think I shall try.

Rikki's husband came upon a book called Eliminate Chaos, by a local author and home organizer. I have to say, it's by far the best book on the subject I have seen. Before and after pics help, and she just has a lot of really good ideas, along with some ideas on how we got stuck in our big mess anyway.

Here is the book!

I shall be using this book. Happily, my kitchen has been decluttered, because I had to box everything and take it out. Now I shall only put back in what I really use. Hooray! Huzzah! Then I can go after the boy's room. Notice, I am carefullly avoiding my own room, which is too scary to contemplate. We shall not be allowed to move til I conquer this place, though. You'd think that would motivate me, wouldn't you?

Time to go make dinner for the two kids who are home. Two others have gone to a pack meeting with daddy, which I am soooooo thankful for. Thank you honey!!!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Adoption Day cometh for Rikki-San!

Hooray!

I hear tidings of great joy are in order for the family of Rikki, who does NOT post on here anymore. Ahem. Too much time on Farmville, perhaps? :P

In any case, they will adopt their now oldest soon. Friday, in fact. Hip, hip, hooray! I will have to move my OB appt around this. But that's how important it is! Even my husband will be home. Apparently the lawyer told J he could be a (insert Rikki's last name here), but he told the lawyer he already was one. LOL!

Ha ha ha!!

Ok, so now say your prayers for another family I know, who, with much luck, could be having their adoption day at the exact same time and place, were it not for people who do not call people back. Perhaps they shall call soon (like tomorrow!) and the whole thing can proceed. Oh boy oh boy oh boy.

Now, on with the baptisms!!

I should not eat ice cream before bed.

A bit of an update on that whole thing.

I thought I'd post this, too.

I think there are two things to learn here, maybe.

One, ask for help. DO NOT WAIT until you have a major crisis if you can possibly help it. If you don't like relying on others, I guarantee sometime in your life, God will humble you by making it so you don't have a choice, and can learn from that. I'm not a fan of learning God's lessons the hard way, but in hindsight, it's always what was best for me. Stay at home moms can be extremely guilty of this, but so can anyone.

Do not tempt God. If you do not learn the lesson the first time, He will be back. Some people call this karma. Same difference to me, it's real.

Secondly, do not judge. It is hard not to, humans are judgemental creatures. It is soooo hard not to, believe me, I know. But often I'll make a judgemental statement and have it erased and be feeling foolish within minutes. Seriously. You'd think I'd learn. Happened today, in fact.

I cannot be in another person's shoes. I hope they make different decisions sometimes, but love and joy are things that are often overlooked. Prayer can be the best thing.

Here is the update on Dawn. I had learned of this earlier, but now that it's public, I assume permission was given to share this kind of info for the betterment of others. I should also point out that I feared some serious unhappy emails after my last letter, below. I thought surely I'd get all kinds of "CPS sucks" kinds of emails. But no! At least five people wrote to thank me for adding a bit of perspective and to share how they found out CPS could be helpful. Oh, thank God. I was so blessed by their responses!

Ok, ok, here it is:

Dear ones,

I have received numerous requests for an update. Thank you on behalf of Dawn, Dillon, John and family for your love, concern and many prayers and sacrifices!

The outcome of the more permanent placement decision was delayed by the judge until Monday the 23rd.

I am realizing that God is working for full healing, not just the temporary fix. This process is a severe mercy.

Dawn is in immediate need of medication for serious chemical imbalances in her brain and body that until she accepts, she will not able to safely and successfully care for herself, Dillon or her husband.

As many of you know, she is extremely adverse to non "natural" treatments. The specific types of medications she needs will necessitate her ceasing breastfeeding which is a great grief and cross for her. She has a few days left to nurse in between supplementing before starting treatment. The baby is still with the court appointed relative and she has very limited and stressful access to him. She needs that grace to make the right choices and follow through to get stabilized so she can get her health, her baby and her life back.

Pray that all the care providers and people she works with are kind, compassionate, full of wisdom and that the medication/treatment she will need has no side effects and works quickly and safely.


Presently, she is with her sister in Seattle. I know she would appreciate Weston Price/Traditional food type meals (whole foods, soaked grains, home made bone broths soups etc.) I am willing to get them to her, but I cannot organize this. More than anything they need prayers. Please continue praying!

God Bless you dear ones!


Holy Family pray for all of our families.
St. Michael and all the angels defend them.
St. Joseph protect them.
Our Lady of La Leche pray for them.
Jesus save and heal them.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

My response to the CPS part of Robin's letter

The breastfeeding part was just one part, of course, if you read the rest, there was a newborn taken from its parents by CPS this week. I have met the mom more than once, and I have heard of the risk factors. I decided to really go out on a limb and send this to the group Robin sends her letters to. We'll see what kind of mail I get in response. Sigh...

Dear Friends,

I just wanted to send out a few thoughts, though please keep in mind I'm not in
direct contact with her particular situation, as I'm sure many of us are not. I
know some folks are pretty hot-blooded on the subject of CPS, and sometimes for
good reason, but please bear with me.

The reason I want to share is because I've been a foster parent, and have
adopted a child from the "system". I know I'm not the only one on this list who
has. I have met Dawn previously, probaby up to seven years ago and on occasion
since, usually at pro-life activities, and we have many friends in common. In
fact, had we known, there are at least two of us who have met Dawn who are
licensed by the state and in the same county and could have kept him at our
homes. But we did not know in time.

CPS does not take away newborns lightly, in my experience. They do not keep
them away from moms and dads for long if they can possibly help it. There are
the occasional social workers who are terrible, but they are seriously in the
minority. We had absolutely wonderful social workers, both through DCFS and
through CCS (Catholic Commm. Services). We have two friends who are adopting
hopefully in the next couple of months, and while frustrating, it is also very
rewarding to foster to adopt.

I want folks to know that if Dawn and her husband stay as calm as possible and
do what the court orders, that baby could be back in their arms within days. If
there is a real problem, that may not happen right away. I have seen many cases
where I dearly, dearly wish a child had NOT been returned to its birth parents,
because I feared for its safety, and I think and pray for those children all the
time. I have seen parents get too MANY chances, not too few. But I have also
seen cases where CPS has torn families apart who did not deserve it.

Whoever is caring for Dawn's child is very likely to be falling in love with
him, too. Please keep everyone in your prayers. One thing that I see happen in
these situations is that people do not know what the steps are in this
situation, so they automatically make CPS and co. out to be the "bad guys".
That may or may not be the case. I don't know. And that's the point, neither
do most of us. There is quite a bit of privacy involved in these cases, so when
they make the newswaves, people all make judgements without possbily knowing the
whole story.

I dearly hope the baby is returned soon, and his family can work on their
healing together. I can't imagine a much more traumatic experience. Please
just pray, and try not to judge without all of the information. Sometimes these
situations turn into a huge blessing of help and services and information the
parents did not know they needed. I hope this is the case this time.

More wisdom from Robin

Robin, you may remember, is someone who has just had her 13th child, and she was inviting many people from our area up to her house to take a look at how she does things and also to glean wisdom from each other.

When Joseph was born, he had breastfeeding issues. He's doing better, but this really is interesting to read. It's quite long, so bear with it, but tuck any useful info away in your head in case it helps to share her experience with others someday. Apparently it was a simple issue of being tongue-tied, but Robin didn't know that. So many of us who homeschool are also sort of crunchy granola types who don't want to do anything medical that isn't absolutely necessary, and so we put things off too long. Being sure that breast is best is one of those struggles. But sometimes, you just can't nurse. It isn't a failure! It just is.

I was at the baptism, so I did witness her first outing! It was beautiful.

So, here comes more Robin for your daily diet.



Friends,

Thank you for so many things; most of all the prayers for a safe labor and delivery.

Also, I want to thank you for your assistance and prayers as I struggled to determine how to overcome the breastfeeding and eating issues that Joseph and I have been moving through.

It’s been a long, rich, month of learning and bonding for us and our entire family.
In time I will type up the notes that I’ve kept about what I’ve learned from this experience specifically related to breastfeeding, that, in turn might help some of you one day. This note it more personal and about the experience as a whole, a little bit about our desire to breast feed our son but mostly about what a difference it made that I was able to ask for help and how invaluable your advice and support was.

Above all, I knew hundreds of people were praying for us and this was what they had to offer at this time; I felt it.

I want to take this time to say ‘thank you’ now. And, as much as I’d like to get a personal ‘thank you’ note to each of you who made such kind gestures, I probably never will. Thank you for the prayers, the kind notes, the words of wisdom, for calling your friends who then called me to share their wisdom, for the text’s, phone calls, food, breast milk; each and every effort has enabled me to focus on my baby, building up my strength and aiding my family to adjust to the newness and challenges. Every effort that was made was helpful!

Humbly, I admit, my situation can seem to me or to you at times as ‘nothing’ when compared to cancer or other tragedies, and it is so good to be reminded of that daily; what I’m trying to say is I think it is good to consider our crosses in light of others. In fact, I reminded myself of my current struggles in light of some of our past times of crisis and asked God to make clear to me really how big of a deal this all is. It was a good time for contemplating and recognizing this still is and was big deal to me and so many of you seem to think so too. Truly, the inability to provide the nourishment or nurturing that I’m used to being able to provide to my child at a time so vulnerable for both he and for me was an incredible burden at times if I let it be; many of you lightened that burden.

Also, thank you to those of you who risked sharing your story and encouraged me to be open to never being able to transition to breast feeding only; I know your struggle personally now and I empathize with all the sacrifice and decisions there are to make in cases like these. For those of you who were not able to transition to breastfeeding, I pray you’ll be able to rejoice with me as our steps towards succeeding at breastfeeding is growing each day yet still feel the confidence that you did exactly what God was asking for you at that time of your life.
I can see clearly that if I did not have the support system I had there is NO way I could have done what I did and God would have been asking me to sacrifice in a different way; as you did.

I learned a lot over the last month since Joseph was born; a lot about breastfeeding a tired baby and how to build up one’s milk, but, most importantly I learned to better listen to God each minute, each hour, each day and to yearn to hear His will in my intuition -trusting that, regardless of the outcome, that He is allowing these circumstances at this moment in time as an opportunity to be closer to Him and to emulate some sort of virtue to my family. Albeit persevering with the many ways to try and get him to nurse and to build up my milk supply and all of the sacrifice this requires from all of us, or, adding more supplementation recognizing that God might be asking me to humbly forgo at least some of my efforts and to focus on energy elsewhere at this time. In either case, and every variation in between, a mother’s calling is to remain close to God and as Mary answered her Fiat, to pray God’s will be done regardless of the outcome. Because of all of you, because of this challenge, I feel a little bit closer to understanding this, so, I thank God and I thank you.

I have had a lot of medical ‘stuff’ to deal with in the last 2 decades with my children and some of them, as some of you know, have been tragic and life threatening, but this one was so very different. I think in other cases so much was literally out of my hands; left to the experts and I just had to be obedient to their asking – prayerful and humble too -but mostly so much was relatively out of my ‘hands’. In this case, I felt so empowered one minute and absolutely helpless the next; I never imagined not being able to provide nutrients for my baby. I think it was the fact that I had so many options this time and the future was so unknown; I had to make so many decision and discern what was really best for son and for my family all while I was tired, fatigued and hormonal. (thank you for praying for my husband and teenage boys! J)

More than once I was alone with my son, with no milk and no way to supplement. This was really only momentary in the scheme of things but I did feel a small sense of what other mothers feel all too often as they struggle to provide for their families; physically and spiritually. I allowed myself to be humbly scolded for all too often taking so much for granted and I pray I will never ever forget the bounty I’ve been given; again, you are part of this gift. I have been given so much; much is expected.

The end of the story for us is not tied all up in a simple answer but I can tell you this; each day I felt a clearer sign that he was getting stronger and he was also learning to latch better each day and so I’m still continuing my efforts to build up my milk, to encourage him to nurse and as of this past weekend, he is not only breastfeeding without any supplementing or bottles but he is off the shield as well. Also, to my surprise, my friend told me he was severely tongue tied so I took him in for a procedure to rectify this. I assumed all of the professionals were taking this in to consideration so when some of you asked me if he was tongue tied I replied ‘no’, assuming I would have been told! I have come to learn that much of the medical fields believes that a child with this slight anomaly will not be adversely effected therefore they do nothing. I have learned that there is great discrepancy in the findings therefore I risked the minor procedure with the hope that the nursing would improve and we’d lessen any disadvantage to his speech in later years. In short, the risk of the procedure way outweighed the potential benefits so we did it; my GP was in complete agreement.

Except for a few doctors appointments, a daily walk with my children and a few short visits to my computer, I did not leave my room for a month; his baptism was our first ‘outing’. I know most of you don’t believe this but it’s true – I have witnesses! J. I’ve told my kids I want a handmade sign for my room entitled ‘Mother’s Monastery’ for this is what our master bedroom has endearingly become for us. I pray, as I’m given greater reign to resume ‘normal’ daily responsibilities, that I’m able to maintain the many benefit I obtained from this ‘quarantine’ time with my baby. With the little bit that I’ve experimented ‘getting out’ (of my bedroom or out of my house), I can see I’ll have to be careful. A ten minute task can so very quickly end up being a 45 minutes deterrent from tending to my son; I’m just learning to accept this and plan to limit activities for several months if need be.

The fruits of my being tied to my room, pumping and nursing, in my case, have been bountiful for my family. This may not be the case for you in the past or for some of you in the future; you may only be able to commit to this type of regime for a day or a week, but that’s not the point. The point is, we prayed as a family about what we felt God was asking us to sacrifice for this baby, for this time period and He provided the means for us to move forward; often it include you.

Those of you who don’t get a returned phone call or a reply to an email may not think so J but for now, I’m focusing on building up my strength, Joseph’s weight and nursing abilities and thanking God for my family and for your friendship and amazing wealth of support to help me grow spiritually and as a mother. I realize I am one of the oldest mom’s having a baby, don’t let that discourage you and please don’t focus on this set back, instead hone in on the help that came flooding my way when I simply shared my plight. Let my set back and need for help inspire you to imagine how much more humility there is to gain and thank God I’m going ahead of you and can share what I have learned to influence you in a better way seeing recognizing that we’re all reaching for the same goal; discerning God’s will for each of us and helping each other, especially our spouse and children, to get ot heaven.

Wisdom; what a gift. If there is one word that I’d use to summarize the intent of our support network, it would be ‘wisdom’ - sharing it, gleaning it or humbling reaching for it. The family of generations ago is fragmented so, for most of us, the guidance in both faith and family stems from reaching out to families like all of ours; we need each other to help each other build our ‘mothering monasteries’, strong marriages and faith filled families.

In closing, I can’t help but focus on a ‘friend’ who is not as lucky as me. Ironically, (but it should not be such a surprise!) as my challenges started to lessen, I learned that a friend was struggling to ‘mother’ in various ways including breastfeeding. Having her first child over the age of 40 and newly married, in time we came to realize the baby was not gaining weight but she also was struggling with other mothering issues indeed there needed to become kind of intervention. Dear mothers in our community saw the need, dropped what they were doing and came to her aid. In some ways it was too late but in most ways it was just in time. Until, by the grace of God someone discovered their great need, she did NOT have the support group I did and somehow she fell through the cracks. I was able to share with her what I learned (From all of you) to offer some sense of guidance in a short period of time (it took me hours upon hours of phone consultant and research to determine what was the best action to take for my situation), I was able to share my milk, (which was the perfect age for her baby) and of course to consciously pray and to sacrifice for her - for now there is little more I can do.

I’m sorry to say her baby was taken by CPS. In the name of protecting the child this ‘organization’ has abused this child and family beyond understanding. Being a mother of a large family, Catholic and homeschooling I’ve been privy to other such cases and I’d be stupid not to admit our family is, sadly and unfairly, at risk. It’s heartbreaking and unthinkable the power others can have over the vulnerable and innocent. This family does need support, guidance and help and the baby above all was indeed in need of help but they need to be together. This family needs wise and experienced mothers like me and like you to guide her as so many of you were able to offer to me. Most of us are not called to this apostolate at this time but we can be aware of how invaluable our small acts of charity are when someone is in need, and, as with this case, let’s continue to check on one another, reach out to new mom’s, albeit their first baby or their twelfth and most of all pray in thanksgiving that we do have a support group therefore we have little to fear of lacking support in any way we need; just ask.
With love
robin

Thursday, November 12, 2009

RIP Gina Strolberg, among other things

Those cabinets are beautiful. Perfect. Amazing. Too nice to be in my house. But there is not a sink to be found, and so I shall abandon ship again and visit Rikki and the Children's Museum. So pretty, but I can't wait til Friday night when I can have my house back. Can't. Wait. Not a lot of homeschooling going on, either, but we'll just deal with that. I am sure the kids don't mind.

I was going to go visit my friend Margy, but one of her kids has the chicken pox, and I'm not sure if two of my kids are vaccinated yet, and chicken pox and childbirth just doesn't sound good. I can't nurse a child very well when I just had a baby.

We hear my MIL is in the hospital, but we don't know how serious it is. We'll try to get in touch today. They did not call us directly, so we don't really know anything yet.

My mom emailed me to tell me two things: be ready in case the baby comes too fast, since that almost happened to my mom with her second. She was five minutes away from a side of the road birth. That same day she'd seen the doctor, and he said it wasn't even close! However, she did have toxemia, and I don't, so I think I'm ok. But I will put some garbage bags in both cars anyway, and some newspaper this weekend. I wonder how my dad would have handled that? Of course, he had midwifed cows, sheep and goats, so maybe he would have done ok. I dunno. I don't think he likes it when people are bleeding, unless it's him, and then he hardly notices.

The other thing was that my friend Gina Strolberg passed away. When I was 13, she gave me riding lessons (English) in exchange for me feeding her horse before I went to school. She was good teacher and had a pretty together life at the time. She was probably my age at the time. Early 30's. She was a very nervous, somewhat paranoid person, but she loved animals. She was a good rider. Eventually, her earlier demon, addiction, came back to haunt her, and after a divorce, she went downhill very, very fast. I saw her only a couple of times after that. She never had any children, which was probably a very good thing. She did have a very positive impact on me, as I did well in 4-H shows and went to state because of her lessons. Her horse came to stay with my folks a few years ago. My mom found out she'd passed October 28th because her brother and sister came from Chicago to take care of things and see the horse, Flash. My kids get to ride Flash whenever we visit. I guess they spread her ashes on our property! Isn't that crazy? So now when I go for a walk on the trail my mom directed them to, I'll always think of Gina. I hope God had lots of mercy saved up and gave her some serious rest. She really, really needed it. I expect she was in her early 50's, if that. And to those who think we should just legalize drugs and be done with it, phooey on them.

I love you, Gina, and I'd give you a hug again if I could.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Dang, I'm tired.

I decided to write the first words I thought of. Sorry! :)

I have less than two weeks til my due date. The baby ticker is a few days off. November 22 is supposedly the day. That would be great if it was that day.

Tomorrow, nice people are going to come rip apart my kitchen and put a new one in. It will take three days, actually. The floor will be left alone, sadly, but I did not feel like playing with linoleum just now. I figured let them beat it to death one last time before I get a nice floor in there. New cabinets are going where none are now, which is very exciting. Can we say STORAGE? If you didn't know, this house is 967 sq ft. Storage is everything.

I've thought about getting a new house. The prices are ridiculously tempting. Seriously. But I want to be sure that we weather this recession as well as we are doing right now, and the last thing I need is a huge mortgage right when he loses his job or we have health problems or any number of things we can handle quite nicely if we stay put. There are definitely worse places to live. We have good neighbors, an almost safe neighborhood (never mind the knife murder in the woods and the bikini baristas on national news this fall...) and we live very close to many friends and our favorite family member. There's a lot to be said!

So... whenever we move, I always hate packing one place: the kitchen. It's awful. So what am I packing? The kitchen! And guess who ran out of boxes tonight??
Oh, and the bathroom. They are putting in a new vanity with some of the leftover granite. Oops. Better put all that stuff in the tub, I guess.

This will be worth it, I swear it will. I really hope my husband brings back boxes from work. Pleeeeze???

Good night, all. I will be slightly homeless for three days, but I will have my loverly laptop with me, and maybe I'll even make up for lost time blogging.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Eye candy and future plans for blogging




I know, you were just waiting for that. I'm sorry for not blogging, and there is ever so much I could blog about, too. I just really need to get on it, but there are ever so many things to do outside the blogosphere, too.

In any case, I was the Great Pumpkin and handed out Pinewood Derby cars at our cub scout pack meeting. This is how big my tummy really is. Now I have 2.5 weeks to go. Yay me!

I do have many things to write about, like:

Tunnel vision, or how you can end up only keeping people around who agree with you.
That book called Last Child In The Woods and how many times I've been nodding my head.
How we are going to try basketball this year right after soccer while having a baby.
The baby, of course.
Homeschooling
Discipline of the difficult child (every family gets at least one)
How thankful I am for our friends and current circumstances (a good thanksgiving post!)

Gotta take Gabe to his second to last soccer practice... ta ta!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Anglicans coming "Home"

I am quite excited by news that the current Pope has extended a hand to disgruntled Anglicans who wish to joing the Catholic Church without giving up everything they loved about their own faith. It will be somewhat like when the USSR collapsed, and we found out what our kind of faith our separated brothers and sisters had still in place, since Vatican II had basically happened without them. It's not the same, but the Catholic Church did not tell those people not to be Catholic anymore, it just accepted them under slightly different rules. It's kind of like how the Tridentine and Byzantine Rites exist under Vatican authority.

This article was very interesting. I am excited to see what will happen next. http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/new.php?n=17493

A very interesting climate change post with lots attached

This was on the Common Room, and it also lists such a long list of links at the bottom that I felt a need to put it here. There are so many things to post on lately, and yet I need to eat, sleep, gestate, and facebook is way easier to use than blogger, therefore more tempting.

Here is a very interesting article, which reaffirms my main point: politics and science do not mix.

Polar Bear Populations Have Increased

Like so many other controversies, we live in an age where we do not know what to believe about ANYTHING. That drives me up the wall. But I do like to point out things that appear to be common sense, especially when the political powers appear to have several things to gain from scaring people.

Enjoy!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Swine flu conversations

Where do I even start? Sheesh. Well, I'll post where most of my info is coming from, and I guess that'll do ya.

The news went crazy on Swine Flu about a year ago. It never did go away all year, worldwide, but then again, it hasn't really killed that many people. The odd thing is, it's only killing young, mostly healthy people, though at first it seemed it was those with underlying conditions, like asthma, heart disease, or cancer. It seemed very overblown to me, and to a certain extent, it still does. Lots of people die from regular flu every year, and while flu shots are encouraged, they are by no means mandatory.

Now, I'm told by my OB that he has changed his mind, and I really should probably have the vaccine, since his 20 year old family friend's son just died of it, and there was nothing but nothing else wrong with him. Up til then, he was pretty skeptical. My regular doctor was skeptical too, til now. And a doctor friend of mine one year younger than I am is a bit freaked out when she sees healthy people in the ICU or worse.

It is a bad flu season. But now I'm told they aren't even testing for H1N1, which means that there's a pretty good chance that either the government will ignore the whole thing and hope everyone else does, too, or else they will say that every case of flu was swine flu, but they can't give real numbers, so ho hum. All of which gives no one ANY credibility if there ever really is a threat, and I'm not sure this time is it. But I totally trust my government. Can't you tell?

Now that I was convinced to take the shot, of course, it's not available, even though I'm first in line as a pregnant person. The doctors must be going nuts. "I convinced all these skeptics and now you tell me there isn't any vaccine?!?" Yeah, this is going well. Sure am glad my kids don't go to school this year. I'm sure we'd have it by now if they did.

Here is an article from ABC news. It states that perhaps H1N1 is not nearly so widespread as was reported. Notice this was not front page news. No, no, tabloid news makes the headlines every day, not this important stuff.

Here is the Wired Magazine article out this month which brings up the case for vaccination to keep the "herd" healthy, which, if you are a cancer patient or otherwise immunosuppressed, you will very likely agree with. If you do choose to forgo vaccines, I do know why. There are many facts and rumors circulating, and some of them are true. I don't blame anyone for just skipping it altogether, quite honestly. But that's not my personal choice, though I did skip about 18 mos. after a bad reaction in my oldest.

Here is a book I'm reading on the history of both vaccines and the arguments that continue to surround them:

I like the book because so far it hasn't been judgemental. My favorite part so far is about the very early "variolation" done on Americans by Cotton Mather. The funny thing is, it was the "crazy" religious people around Boston who supported his work, and the doctors and scientists who wanted to practically lynch him. But his work, despite his complete lack of understanding but innate curiosity, is what led to the complete extinction of smallpox. So interesting.


There. That should keep you busy! Now, stay healthy!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Finding good mentors as wives and mothers, but mostly as women

I'm sending this along to y'all from The Common Room, which remains, several years after our introduction, my all time favorite blog. I like this post, because it introduces us to a bit of humility and perhaps lets us realize we are shooting ourselves in the foot when we think someone else's advice doesn't apply to our situations.

Seriously, how many times have you thought, "That wouldn't work here, not in my house," without even really seriously considering it? And how many of those women who try to give you advice are trying to give it to you because they can see where you are? Because they've really and truly been there? It's hard to imagine, because you probably weren't standing there with them, watching them go through it, especially if they are older than you. Everyone thinks their situation is different, and yes, it is. But sometimes it's not nearly as different as you thought. Obviously you can't go around following everyone's advice. You have to do what is right for you and your family. BUT... if there is a recurring theme in the advice you are hearing, perhaps, just perhaps, it really does apply to you, and giving it a try couldn't really hurt.

Not that I was ever a knothead. Nope.

http://heartkeepercommonroom.blogspot.com/2009/10/composite-titus-2-woman.html

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Fr. Corapi on corruption in the Catholic Church

I love Fr. Corapi. He is so aware of what's going on. Thanks, Jeff, for posting this on Facebook.

Baby doing fine

I really had a need to blog today. I have been having an overload of thoughts in my head on all kinds of subjects, and they all need to get out! Seriously!

But since I'm on my way to Rosary as soon as my muffins are done and the Daddy is woken up, I will at least write an update.

Sunday night sort of scared us because I saw some blood. However, it appears it's somewhat external. But I didn't know that on Sunday. I think it's a vessel that's feeling too much pressure.

Because of the scare, I called my OB on Monday morning, and he said to go get another ultrasound. Despite my fears, I was delighted, because I really, really wanted to know if that was really a girl in there, and I still wasn't real sure. IT IS A GIRL! Woo hoo!!

They did everything, of course. I hate internal ultrasounds. I hate internal exams. I hate them, hate them, hate them. But the end result was some other good news: the baby is facing the correct direction. In fact, it appears she isn't even going to cause back labor. DH is right, girls agree with me more, boys like to torture me. Now, remember, I only have two of each, and one adoption, so I only have so much to go on. Some people notice a difference, some don't. Also, the placenta is fine, so that is excellent, too. I was wondering if I went off the progesterone too soon.

I did go to my regular OB after the ultrasound, and he was delighted to see the baby had turned. Hooray! I got a great ultrasound of her face, too. I can't wait to meet her. I wonder if she'll have tons of hair like Grace? Or mongolian spots? Each of them has had different shades of skin and hair, and I just can't wait to see. Healthy is a great goal, too, of course.

With just under seven weeks to go, I have some recurring thoughts. One is that I remember having a miscarriage four years ago. It was awful. Darned traumatic anniversaries. I always have to wonder, "why am I cranky and can't sleep?" and then I realize what month/week it is. My head has forgotten, but my subconscious definitely has not. February is worse. Thank goodness those are the only two.

I also am worried about labor. Lack of back labor is better, but I still may go for the epidural, just because I never have and think I've been through enough pain the last few times that maybe I've earned a break. Weird thinking, but well, my labors are long and hard, and I have NOT forgotten. And I just want to see for myself. First hospital birth for me, so this will be quite bloggable.

Breastfeeding. Did you know that it takes two weeks to get into the groove? Every darned time? I have horrible pain as I get going. But I know it will end. Still, it really is some awful pain, right when I'm most tired and cranky and emotional. At least I've done it before. I have had the weirdest sensation lately that I'm supposed to be breastfeeding someone. When the baby is born, it will have been 11 months since the last one stopped breastfeeding. Funny to think about. When my friends' babies cry, or one is inconsolable in the store, I feel a serious need to help that baby out. I don't remember that happening before. I must be getting more maternal.

That's enough updating for now. Off to pray for the world, and the world can't wait! Ha ha ha!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

A funeral

This week I was invited to a funeral. I did not know the young man who died, nor his young wife, but I did know the wife's sister, and since she was coming from across the country, she invited friends who were nearby, including three of her old friends from college. Two of us lived a scant five minutes from the church where the funeral was held, the other, about three hours away.

It was a very tragic death. The couple had been married three years and had just graduated law school. They were running a marathon. About a month ago, it became apparent that he had a bee sting allergy, but this was the first anyone knew about it, from what I have heard. Then he was stung. He ran another five minutes, then collapsed. His wife was there. Nothing could be done. He was flown to the hospital and died a couple of days later, but he never woke up. I had facebook updates through a friend, and also, the wife's uncle is the priest here in my town, so another friend was telling me what the uncle had heard, and so my news was coming from two vastly different sources at once. It was the saddest thing, since he was just starting out, really. My friend who was his sister in law sang at the wedding with her husband. How she did it with a clear and beautiful voice, I just don't even know. But I sure did pray that she could, and maybe a lot of us were doing the same thing. It was a beautiful homily as well. I just can't imagine what it was like for any of the family members there.

I guess the most important thing I took away from it, like any funeral, is that I really should be more grateful for what I have, especially my husband. He works hard, loves his family, has no interest in doing anything to destroy that balance, and takes a fair amount of guff from me with almost no complaint. Why am I so lucky? God has blessed us beyond measure.

I have thought about that a lot lately. I think I'm in a lull in my life. The first 8 years of marriage were hard. No money, no time to relax, crazy times. We loved each other, but boy were we stressed. The first year was the worst. And then we turned a corner, and now things are much more relaxed. Much. But I can see around the corner.

Around the corner lies kids growing up, going to college maybe. Parents getting older and becoming frail, or dying. Sisters needing assistance, but it looks like the brother will be ok. Yay! When will the trouble start again? I don't know. Could be tomorrow. Could be next year. I might even have ten years of calm, but I wouldn't count on it. My dad is 68, and the rest of the parents have entered their 60's somewhere after him. We have long lived grandparents in most cases, up to 95 in my grandfather's case, but as early as the early 60's in others. Maybe earlier.

I know worry could enter the picture here, but for me, it won't til the crisis comes. I read somewhere that a saint or someone said, "Why are we spending so much effort on this terminal condition called 'life'?" In other words, why are we spending so much money and worry and work on staying alive, when it is our souls that are eternal? I guess because one is obvious, and the other less so, while we are on earth.

But then I think of Heaven, and I look forward to it tremendously. I can then spend all the time I want doing good and right things, basking in glory with my friends and family who have arrived there with me. I think of friends who are separated from me by distance, and I think of spending eternity with them and how lovely that would be. I hope God will find myself and many others worthy. I'm counting on His mercy.

Please pray for the Jibben and Smith families. When the two got married, they combined their last name to Jibbensmith. So please especially pray for Greta Jibbensmith, who is alone among family and in mourning. I cannot understand her pain, but I know one day I may, and I hope God's comfort embraces her and all his family.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

THE dream house. I mean it.

Ok, this one will do. Can I haz house?

You can look up the MLS # for more pictures. It's perfect. I mean it. The back yard has somewhere for me to garden already. And fruit trees. :) The price is so low, though, I doubt it will be there when I'm ready. Dratz.

This kind of thing wasn't even on the horizon two years ago. I mean completely impossible. And now look. Wow.

http://www.windermere.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=Listing.PropertyFlyer&ListingID=66416500

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Dr. Ray Guarendi is a genius!

Ha ha... I did not get to hear him speak today locally, but my friend Rikki did, while I babysat her kids. In return, I got a mocha and my book signed by Dr. Ray, as well as another book by him, also signed.

Here is his main website:
http://www.drray.com/index.htm

Here are the books I got!






This dude really knows his stuff. I sometimes disagree with him, but generally he's much more right on that most psych types. Much more sensible, and has walked the walk, which helps, especially when it comes to adoption. They have adopted ten kids. What I loved was the part where he said they didn't really intend to keep adopting that many. "How can you accidentally adopt?" you ask? Oh, it can happen. I know a lady who says she adopted on of her kids through Fabricland in my hometown. It was just one of those conversations, and one thing led to another. I love it!

If you need something fresh and exciting in your parenting adventure, you have indeed come to the right guy. For most things.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

13th Day movie (Fatima)

Omigoodness, I have to see this!!

http://www.ignatius.com/the-13th-day/

Social Security uh ohs

Quite a long time ago (say, during Clinton maybe), my parents were pretty sure anyone my age should not bet on social security. I figured it was another rant, but I also figured it was worth paying attention to over time. I am not relying on it, but I also don't have many back up plans for when I get old, since we haven't saved much yet. We have life insurance and a will, so that makes me pretty happy since we're only in our mid to early 30s. We're only about 11K away from being debt free outside our mortgage, and we hope to keep it so that we will pay it off before we retire. Who's this we, anyway? I'm home all day! But I sure don't feel retired! I pull my own weight around here, man!
In any case, this was posted on the Common Room and I figured some real numbers from the CBO (which might be the only office left with real numbers), might be enlightening.


CBO numbers on social security


Here is a very short version of where we even got social security in the first place. It's a neat idea, if the government weren't involved. Sorry, but I have yet to see the government NOT screw up a good idea. Neighbors and churches taking care of each other seemed overall to work better in the "good old days".

How Stuff Works on Social Security

Sunday, September 20, 2009

A most inspiring foster care story

Ok, I think I fixed it, please look again!

Omigoodness, what a tear jerker. I have so much hope for the foster kids I know, and those who have been adopted since they were foster kids. I hope some will make these choices. I know someone who already did, and you know who you are, so get out the kleenex, honey.

Sacia's Promise

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Hiliarious homeschool/socialization material

I figured I had to post this. I should be in bed, but I'm not.

Silly me.

If you don't think this is true, then you need to meet more homeschoolers. I assure you from personal experience with a variety of homeschooling groups, these things are generally true. So trust us. Really.

http://thepioneerwoman.com/homeschooling/2009/09/the-oldest-one-in-the-book/

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

And they're off!

Homeschooling, that is.

It's going really well so far. Teaching Brandon is like pulling teeth, but he does not win, so each fight is shorter. Sing, Spell, Read and Write is going very, very well. Math U See is going well, probably better than anything else would. He just is annoyed I won't let him progress. But if he can't explain it to me, then he doesn't understand it. Sometimes I wonder if that's because of his speech oddities, like there's a short circuit somewhere in the expressive language department. But we'll keep practicing, and he's making progress.

Today we did science together with another family, but I didn't get to take pictures. I kept getting distracted. We did an experiment with Bernoulli's Principle, which, strangely enough was covered both in our Webelos scout book and in the science book, which means two whole families killed two birds with one stone today! Hooray! It was great to have the kids try out their hypothesis and then squirt each other in the eye with straws when it turned out they were incorrect! :)

Grace and Brandon are working together on math and reading, and it seems to work out ok. Dominic really wants to be a big boy, so he keeps trying to do it all. This makes some things hard. Then again, he knows ALL his letters. He turned 2 in late May. Some friends got him a Leapfrog ABC toy that says the letters and sounds, and he plays with it all the time. Hooray! Smart kid.

Gabe is doing fifth grade Mother of Divine Grace this year, except that we do Singapore Math and Apologia Science so far. The history part is FASCINATING. I love it. I am learning lots myself! To think there are things about American History that are covered in little kid books that so many Americans don't know. I wish they cared to know. It's sooooo interesting and important in order to understand current events. Seriously. I'm so glad we get to learn it together.

Here are some pictures to prove we are actually working. Thought you'd enjoy! Please pardon the missing Brandon. I'll have to take a pic of him tomorrow instead. He was delighted with these phonics workbooks. He loves to color!







Friday, September 11, 2009

Good Ol' September

Well, September has hit, but it's going better than I thought it would. It is crazy, don't get me wrong. We have soccer and scouts, and sometimes that means that my poor, long-suffering husband goes to work at 5am and when he gets back at 4, has a break and then runs out the door to pick up soccer eldest child and take him to a scout meeting late because well, we can't quite bi-locate. But that's only til the end of soccer, and only twice or three times a month. However, the oldest child will have soccer games right up til a week before my due date. So if I get an early baby this time, well, won't that be exciting? :)

I've started grading for MODG again, and it's going quite well so far. I've graded the papers sent me so far, so that's also good. I'm not behind yet! The families seem nice. I even got one back from a previous year. I'm grading 10th grade ancient history and lit, and one 10th grade religion. I have 15 students. Some are very cool. I am especially excited to hear from one who will be attending the canonization of Fr. Damien from Hawaii, which will take place in October.

My brain has been very full lately. That's why I like lists so much. Politics still take up a lot of my brain, but I post here less because Facebook is so much easier. Besides, a lot of my Facebook friends are people who don't necessarily see things my way, and that leads to some really cool discussions online, and some mind-growing on both sides. I really see that as valuable time, because the news on tv makes things seem like something different than they are. I like to find out how people think, and why they think that way, rather than just saying "they're just stoopid" because we differ. Even if it's a non-negotiable to me, like abortion, I'd still rather have the discussion than be dismissive. Too many people are dismissive of myself and my ilk, and how am I to be judged then, if I won't listen to them, either? Two wrongs don't make a right. More discussion is always better.

So, I could go on and on, but I won't. I'm annoyed with the total relativism which is now called "telling the truth" on so many levels, it makes me want to cry. So my only commentary is "always read the fine print" and "trust no one without reading it yourself".

Too bad so much of it is pages and pages long.

Actually, you know what? I think politics and professional sports are almost the same thing now. Incredibly overpaid, disconnected from the "commoners", and not "real" in a real life sense. Both are made up worlds which have almost nothing to do with me or anyone I know! Isn't it weird how far it's gone?

The baby seems to be doing well inside. My husband reminded me that my pregnancy with Grace was WAY better than with either boy, and that is very true. So I guess it might really be a girl, because I'm really doing quite well. I have another OB appt. on Monday, so that's exciting.

Yesterday was Brandon's birthday. He was excited for a month in advance, which makes me realize where child abuse comes from. Sorry, that's probably too honest, but AAGHHH... when he anticipates something, every single habit I thought we'd broken comes back times 10. Yesterday we had two things for his birthday that made it better, neither of which I planned: his first Tiger den meeting, and also free (did I say free?) tickets to the Barnum and Bailey Circus. We were up til 10:30 pm and the night before was Rosary, so they are pretty tired kids today. Gabe took a nap, and he is nine. But Brandon and Grace didn't. Darn.

Now that his birthday has happened, and he's opened his presents, he is a new, much nicer kid. He homeschooled nicely this morning, and I'm encouraged by his interest level for reading and math. I'm not sure how much to rave about the programs yet, it being only week 2, but I'm very excited anyway.

Tomorrow is a birthday picnic party, and Brandon will be having fun at the park and his sister and her mom will come. I'm glad they always make it to our party, and it's so good to see them together. Also coming: Mariah!! Mariah was returned to her birthmom about three weeks ago, and we miss her, as does the family who cared for her for 2.5 years. We're excited that they still have enough contact to have her over for our party! We're also excited that her half brother is now free for adoption as of this week, and we can't wait for an adoption party!! So much news lately.

Oh, and thanks to the NikePlus iPod thingy and my husband's dedication after some bad cholesterol numbers last winter, we can proudly say that diet and especially exercise MATTER. His mom and dad both have heart problems, but while his dad gets exercise, his mom really doesn't. You simply have GOT to make lifestyle changes and stick to them, and that's what my wonderful man did. I do know that some people cannot beat it no matter what, for some reason, but I do want to share our success in order to show how worth it it is.

In January 2009, we started going to the gym and really working on taking care of ourselves. And then, right after the St. Patrick's Day run, I found out I was pregnant. Oh well, put that off mostly for another year. I have been trying to get out and walk a lot, though. I need to get to that gym I've been paying for.

Here are the stats for my wonderful husband:
April 09 September 09 Normal Range

LDL 207 LDL 131 3-130 mg/dL
HDL 37 HDL 31 less than 40 mg/dL
Total cholesterol: 305 218 150-240 mg/dL
Tryglyceride: 306 279 30-200 mg/dL

all of these are bad. all good except tri

This is such good news. I'd rather he never got on those horrible medications, because of the side affects, and we both believe the less chemicals in one's body the better, from psych meds to birth control. Hey, at least we're consistent.

So that's all the news right now!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Oh, to live next to Rikki-san!

Take a peek. No I cannot afford this. But I can dream. Too bad the pictures aren't clearer. It's right across the gulch, honey!! :)

http://www.johnlscott.com/propertydetail.aspx?GroupID=205476846&ListingID=300297948&Sort=0

Monday, August 31, 2009

yet another dream home

Hey, it's been a while. Gotta post an incredible deal. This is my size of yard, plus good room sizes. The word "foundation" will probably scare most people away. I wish I could jump on it, because it's right where we'd want to live, truly. For a ridiculously good price, too. I'm not sure how good of "fixers" we are, though. I mean, bribing your friends with pizza and beer has got to get old at some point...


House in Silver Lake

More informal home advice from Robin

Our friend Robin has been sending these lists out. Please pardon the grammar, it's all she can do to get it out there to other people, and a service I'm glad she's providing. It does provide a lot of food for thought. And it makes me really glad I have my boys in scouts.

Please keep in mind I am typing these as if I’d be speaking to you, short, brief, slang, to the point, no messin’ around…I’m tired, short of time but I do want to share what I have learned that might be of support to you.

Pray for me as I do for you, robin


11. Boys, boy’s boys: what do you do with your boys and how come very few families home school their older boys!

Robin Reply:

(I JUST sent mine into the mountains and told my husband to put them each atop a DIFFERENT hill and tell them, ‘good luck boys, come back men!!”)

Ok, I hear ya sister! There is nothing like boys; their kiss on the cheek, their bringing mom a flower at age 2, 12, or 22 is unforgettable, their smile, and now, as I have older ones, their ability to care for me and their sisters, the pride they exude when brining the fire wood and setting the fire, fixing the broken bike or lifting a heavy box for me; best yet, how my oldest son awaits in the car for me after the gym cuz mom is chatting; he leans over to open the door for me as a sign of his honor.

Ahhh, boys, I do treasure then and thank God for them as hard as it is cuz as much joy and passion as they stir in me that is good and noble, I often question if the irritation and frustration and SMELL far outweighs the joy that I may be showing! J

Boys are challenging and different and we, as woman, don’t have a natural sense to give them what they need; we need to work at it. It is our responsibility to work at it and it’s well worth our effort to work at it. I’m not saying to replace the father or male figure, but, just as we need to recognize we once were premenstrual therefore we need to forgive the hormone highs and lows of our daughters and NOT get caught in a cat fight for we are the ones who will look like a fool (what they are doing is NORAML, what we are doing is childish and dysfunction – I’ve been there), we also need to be able to step back and accept our boys for where they are at, in fact, to thank God they are moving through the prepubescent boyhood into man hood; allow it, praise it, honor it and often send ‘it’ far into the woods! J

I also believe not all boys are the same of course and I also find that boys, coming consecutively, vs. a girl thrown in there to balance out the hormone/testosterone influx, also makes for a very different dynamic. (i.e.: I have mostly boy, girl, boy girls, but the one time I had two boys in a row...WOW…VERY different dynamic! ) Then, depending on mom’s temperament, the size of the house and the makeup of the dad; all varying possibilities to the depth of dirt, intensity of the smell and regularity of the surprises a mom is going to find herself asked to endure! J

Two books I highly recommend are: A Parent’s Guide to preventing Homosexuality and Wild at Heart. They go hand in hand; the short message is, boys/men are different and woman/wives/mothers need to recognize this and honor this. we also need to provide the environment for them for their ability to live out /carry out what they need to become strong noble men; we need to inspire them and support them which means, as always, picking our battles. IT means making sure they have a good strong father figure and male figures to ‘hang with’ and to emulate. It means sacrificing to make sure they have their ‘time in the woods’, even if this time means taking over part of the house to play games, have a pizza party and learn to play poker and eat only chips and root beer – possible also ‘hot tamales’. IT also means when Dad decides to keep them out later or rough house with them past their bed time; relax mom, walk away, let them have their way and trust this is bonding that will encourage strength, courage, nobility and manhood. This is not to say a mother/wife cannot and should not discuss her preference and encourage sound decision by her husband other male figures, I’m just saying, if you read these two books, your attitude will change from one of irritation and resentment towards one’s husband for taking care of his masculine needs and for nurturing your son, to an attitude of gratitude for the support you are given for YOU can never replaces this male figure you can only do your best to understand it, support it and to invite noble male models into the lives of your sons.

I just counseled a mother of four boys; on her list of ‘irritations’ was how they take 3-5 pumps of soap and stay in the bathroom ‘trashing’ it for so long and peeing around the toilet. My example included; encourage the soap and the bubbles and the creative things they can do with those but for the sake of raising noble men to be loved by their wives or welcomed into a monetary; demand good toilet manners!!! Seat wiped, lid down and floor mopped up but have a 'hay day' with those bubbles and use all the soap you want; just leave the bathroom cleaner than you found it. What mom does not know won’t hurt; usually.

Aside: for all obviously reasons, (if they are not obvious, reply to me privately) we have an open door policy, room a few boys together at least at once and we keep the boys downstairs for schooling. Schooling takes most of the day hence, by the time schooling responsibilities are cared for there is little to no more time to be ‘alone’ in the room; some privacy is necessary but TOO much idle time and guaranteed privacy is leading growing boys into temptations; girls do not have this same risk.

To reply to the question of home school homes cool boys; NOW I GET IT! I see why so few actually home school their boys through high school! Those boys are becoming young men and it makes sense that a MAN is their mentor more often than a woman; I’d think this to be normal and healthy. So, yes, I have home school one son through high school and another son is graduating this spring (presumably...its only the start of the school year nowJ) But we live in a very inconvenient place to send them to running start or coops, or, I KNOW I would do it more or at least consider it son by son whereas I might not feel as much the need to make these sacrifices for the girls. Of course, any time we ‘set them free’ there are risks but in my opinion, if you focus on a strong foundation, and if setting them up with some outside support in the high school years is doable then this will allow them to utilize the tools you have provided. If, on the other hand, you are not able to provide that schooling support outside of the home, I recommend investing in sports, scouts, or other opportunities that your boys are able to bond with growing young men and to have other male mentors and above all encourage, inspire and support your husband’s time away from home with the boys!

12. Husband traveling waah, ‘woe is me’.

Again, I hear ya sista….but now I’m feeling very different that you probably are right now. Why? Well, long ago I realized that in my little family my husband’s main role is to provide the cash and to play with my kids, then as the boys get older to really invest time with them, to ‘date’ my girls and to fix an occasional leaky toilet, fell a tree or clean the gutters and in that order. Now, the later ‘house work’ part, because he bonded with the boys by teaching them how to do it, is mostly done by my boys. My husband travels to Europe when he does travel so at times he is gone 2-3 weeks sometimes doing this 4-5 times a year. Do to economic times this is slowing down but my point is, I’ve had some experience here. The main message I am sending is this, IF your husband’s job is calling him away, and you two feel this job is where God is calling him then it is imperative that you, or you support him and figure out what God is asking of you i.e.; get over it J, lessen expectations, hire help, simplify. We want to see the expectations of Dad diminished to just ‘being’ wit the family to relives the load from him. God will provide and we as moms/wives need to accept that IF God is asking our husbands to be gone that much then there must be other ways of doing things that we once thought was the ‘right’ way for we are blessed to home school, we are blessed to have support husbands and there are many creative ways to accomplish one’s responsibilities as mother, teacher and wife….having a pity party or resenting our husbands is NOT one of them. The time away for my husband can end up being a time that my kids actually speak to him one on one more than when he is home. We make sure we have set times to talk, he makes sure to speak to each one before bed, we all write to him via email and we await his arrival….all good things. Moreover, I do my very best (often not reaching my goals as completely as I wish but I do try) to welcome him home with joy and thanksgiving for his efforts – vs. my earlier years, a ‘woe is me’ type ‘you left me’ attitude. Traveling is NOT easy, it is tiring and they always pay for it before they leave and when they come home at the office; they don’t need us whining and complaining atop the other stress; as I have OFTEN done! Shame on me.

All that being said, consult other friends who have husband who travel; have a short pity party/ share your struggle and invite their words of support, ask your friends to inspire you, open your mind to ways to get support, ask for help, consider what help you need and, of course, if you try everything and your school, home and marriage are suffering, it is only right to take this challenge to Adoration, to spiritual direction together and to consider alternative jobs for him.

33. As I'm getting organized for school to begin, I'm trying to figure out what to do with all of last year’s school stuff. What of your children's work do you keep each year? I don't want to be a pack-rat, but I also don't want to throw something away and regret it later. Are there things your children enjoy looking back on or that you like to reference? Do you need to keep any work for "record keeping" purposes? Thank you!

Short reply by Robin Betz

Are you enrolled in MODG; if yes, then I’d recommend keeping very little. If NO< then, hmmmm, maybe we should solicit someone else but my instinct is still to keep very little!:) picture your children and your children’s children browsing through these ‘keep sakes’…..biology results, NOT, self made bible with illustrations YES! J

I keep all of their ‘stuff’ that seems really ‘dear’ and also that will keep easily i.e.: their blank books that they have illustrated their poetry, their science journals, their creative writing; you get the picture. But, boring math, NO WAY!


NEXT EMAIL:


13. Some kids in home schooling, some at conventional schooling:

I can’t say how much I empathize with those who have kids in both homeschooling and public or private schooling, at the same time; I understand the need to do this at times. We, too, did this for 2 years and it was a tremendous burden, but one that we felt God was calling us to turn into His cross and buckle down and do so heroically until other plans could be made. I did a wretched job of it; homeschooling was the last thing I did, homeschooling was so burdensome and my child who was homeschooling felt it. My lack of confidence and strength is doing less for the school and more for my school kids in order to bring the appropriate balance was great; I did my home school child a great disservice.

Diving ones’ energy between home and school is a great task. As you know, having kids in school means not only that ‘routine’ but all the many relationships and extra commitments and temptations. So, it is often necessary but it’s important to prepare in all ways for this and allow it to enhance your life, seeing it as the blessing that it is, allow it to strengthen your marriage and family, or, admit this is NOT where you are called. Learn from my mistakes! J

14. Prayer time in home:

You as a family may find prayers traditions that are workable and easy to obtain and these traditions may stay in place for…ever. Or, you may find that these commitments are just not doable any longer; accept this, alter this, seek councel and make a new plan that you see (and your spiritual directors sees) is set up for success.

Mom’s prayer life, apart from the family’s spiritual commitment should include:

- seeking objective direction and setting goals for the season from Spiritual Director and other wise mom’s

-Simple doable commitments – too big, you’re set up for failure

-. I aim for my daily prayer time to reach, one hour a day (including family rote prayers), one hour a week, one hour a month in Adoration and one day a year in retreat.

When there are signs that something is lacking, my defects are outpouring. With humility I pray now that God make clear to me early on when I am slipping. I must take the time to examine my spiritual life. At one point that I was struggling and I was clearly in need of spiritual strength, I took the time to examine my life; I realized I did not have an intimate relationship with Christ or with Mary. I wanted one. I needed one, so I sought one with expectant faith. I was doing a lot for God (or was I) but I was not close to him, I was not sure I was really doing what He wanted. I committed to building intimacy with Christ and with Mary in some way. In time I was rewarded. I knew I needed to be able to seek Christ during the day, pour my heart out to Mary AT the time of need not just at the start and close of the day and during ‘rote’ prayers with my family.

I needed to learn to rely on my spiritual strength when I needed it most; all day long and often during the night! This took my humility to admit my weakness, my effort to seek council and direction and the hope and faith that if I persevered I would be rewarded. In time, during my prayer time, I started to see Mary, in the Pieta. I saw her with her son atop her in her arms. I went to her, laying my woes in her lap. Someone later told me that Mary is depicted in the Pieta exponentially larger than Jesus, to show her ability to take on the weight of the world. Next came a scene of Mary and Joseph in their humble abode; I was sitting with them. I was able to just listen, to chat; the perfect scenario for conversation – me with coffee in hand and Mary with herbal tea! I was indeed given the opportunity for a close and intimate relationship with our Lady and with Jesus; the sweetest rewards

I still fall and lose sight of a rich prayer time, but, because I once had a fruitful prayer time, I can quickly resume this relationship with little effort. It simply takes me admitting I’m falling and choosing to make my prayer time a priority.

Lastly, I connect often with the vision of Divine Mercy and Mary; in both cases, their arms out stretched, their love and mercy outpouring. I am inspired to show this love and mercy to my husband, my children, extended family, to strangers and each person I am in contact with. If my personal prayer life is suffering, I must be very careful not to get distracted by outside opportunities. I must prioritize and choose to take the time to be with God and with Mary, I envision Jesus in the Divine Mercy, Our Lady in the Pieta, all reaching out to help and to guide me.

If ALL I do is pray and connect with God and Mary in the ways I explained, this is what I believe will be the best way for me to carry out Gods will for my family for my specific calling. In doing so, I feel a great spiritual presence and peace. I’m able to pray in a moment’s notice, at time of frustration and joy. I am now able to feel peace and joy amidst chaos! I’ve listed in my notes some examples of what is currently working for me. Find what works for you, stick with it until you, through self examination, or perhaps a good friends or husband’s honesty, points it out to you that the defects of an ineffective prayer life are coming across to those you love. Admit this, seek council, turn to God and anticipate with expectant faith an answer to your efforts to better serve him as mother as wife.

Family Spiritual:

With the other areas on life in order it’s much easier to discern what our priorities should be for our family.

Be a calm and dedicated example open to change in your family routine to make sure what you do emulates the virtue you wish to instill. One decade prayed with the ability to guide the toddler and maintain order is better than an entire rosary with tension and chaos. Keep in mind, the chaos may be perpetuated by mom! We invite the children to come be part of our prayer time, and we also excuse them to pray in their rooms until they can come and be reverent.

Take the time at your weekly and monthly prayer time to evaluate who to set your family up for success and to be consistently fed spiritually as a family. Be realistic so you are able to follow through. As I see it, dinner is time for mom to provide for her husband a pleasant experience and her children the opportunity to learn manners and dinner table conversation, similarly, family prayer time and Sunday mass is not necessarily time for mom to be fed in the same way as her own contemplative time. Make your personal prayer time a priority and then feed your children the gift of prayer during the day.

Keeping family prayer time a priority yet accepting where we are at, many years we have opted to pray Holy minutes at the top of each hour from 9-3pm, ending with the Divine Mercy and then we only pray one decade of the rosary at night. The demands of the school day and the rigor of chores and outside activities, nursing baby, chasing toddler, listening to teens, all important needs to be met, can diminish the opportunity for family prayer to almost nothing if we let it.

Choosing a child to set a timer and walk through the house announcing ‘holy minute’, everyone stopping to pray, can be a far more fruitful prayer time than making sure we all gather for family rosary. We’ll usually close our day then with one decade and private prayers while tucking in. In the summer, on the other hand, the days are longer, we stay up later, and stopping at the top of the hour is not practical!

The point is, we make it a priority; we set realistic goals and persevere to see them come into fruition, all the while, seeking objective council to determine if we need to make adjustments.

Included in my notes are examples of others ideas that have worked for us.

Foster the Faith in your Children:

Here is answer the questions posed to me about fostering the faith in my children. A strong faith life for my children is going to first come from a mother who emulates virtue. Attitude is everything. One’s frame of mind is everything. I can become overwhelmed by all the many devotions and liturgical celebrations I’m neglecting, or, recognize that if I can just manage the mundane tasks of this stage of my vocation right now, I’m way on my way to sanctity. Moreover, if I’m in the right frame of mind my responses to the needs of my family will ‘is this all He’s asking of me? Or, if I’m lacking strength, it’s ‘woe is me, why is he asking so much of me?”

One of the greatest piece of advice from a wise friend was this ‘pray for them one toilet paper roll at a time!” Her pet peeve was rolling and rerolling the toilet paper roll! This comment made a deep impression on me; whether it be picking up the toilet paper roll again, changing the diaper AGAIN, rotating the laundry AGAIN, picking up my husband’s clothes that lay on the floor NEXT to the dirty laundry hamper AGAIN, finding my chocolate nibbled on AGAIN, my latte cold AGAIN, the seemingly simple every day things that IF we are spiritually sound with our priorities in order, we can almost chuckle while counting our blessings as we move through and beyond that task yet AGAIN. But, if we are out of balance I can react as if I’m a victim, put upon living a life of drudgery, monotony, imprisonment. I admit I’ve felt this way!

These daily hassles are our opportunity to sacrifice, our road to sanctity, our cross to carry with Christ, NOT to become burdensome. I must pick up the cross God gave to me especially, He has promised to pave the way and give me the grace to carry a cross as He did. Or, I can fall into near despair and see these opportunities as burden if I don’t keep my priorities in order.

I’ve learned to pray out loud ‘Lord, thank you’ ‘Lord help me”! “Mary help me be like you!”’ ST Anthony, please help me find this thing, I want to bring God glory!” I pray this way for myself; to better remember and be influenced but also as an example to my children so they know prayer is what the core of my day is. They do not see me go to daily mass anymore, or even get to the chapel for a holy hour so I go out of my way to show them creative ways to still make God the center of my life; the core of my being, the foundation of my thinking and actions.

I still fall, I still am led into temptation to carry a bad attitude, but, I try to emulate with each sacrifice if this is how God wants for me to be refined; bring it on!

I was asked; how do you nurture prayer as a sacred and special time with your family?

My view is this: during family prayer time, as with meals, my job is not to be fed but to guide and set an example. This is why I carve out other time of the day to pray and to be contemplative. My older children learn to lead and focus while I get up, discipline, gently guiding, holding the child with an encouraging whisper, ‘look, see how Johnny is praying so reverently, I know you can do this too!”

Having regular battles in trying to get to daily mass for instance means one of two things, either you are not organizing well enough to get there, or, you are not called to go. If evening rosary is a battle zone; change the time of day. If I know my patience is low, we do what we call the ‘tunnel rosary’ upstairs. The girls and the boys rooms are separated by a hall way; the needs are in the ‘tunnel’ in between praying so both rooms can hear and I walk from room to room praying and rubbing backs; we’re set up for success.

If the dynamics of a large family with a lot of little ones overwhelm you, examine your attitude, this is the perfect opportunity for your older children to learn reverence and perseverance in prayer and in avoiding distraction. If your kids are exposed to a prayerful setting, in time, they’ll want to be like the others, to be part of the team. Reward the good, ignore the bad, and discipline the unspeakable!

15. Book cases:

A mom wanted some practical advice on books shelves; you know the routine reply ‘a homeschooler can never have enough book shelves!”. Well, taken with a grain of salt, that is SO true. But, lately, I’ve encountered some mom’s who have been blessed with an abundance of books, or ‘bookaholics’ perhaps! You know, looking at the book with through the eyes of ‘oh, this is a great book, its free, or its inexpensive, I’ll take it!” vs. ‘do I need this book any time in the near future? Do I already have 1-2 books on this subject?” In my opinion, less is better and orderliness with our school things is essential to a smooth running operation!

I change things up and around every so often when I need to but for the most part I have all of the essential school books for my children in one room; a library. I have other picture books in all the areas that will entice the children to pick them up and to read them or where they have their quiet time i.e.: a stack in the living room and a stack in each bedroom. I keep board books handy for the 6mo. – 2 year old until they are trained to respect the books. Having too many books is like having too many clothes for ones husband or boys; they wear whats on top each day anyhow so unless you rotate them you might as well just have TWO! J

As for the ‘series books’ those are ones that I will move to the room that is age appropriate i.e.: I want my 8 year old to eat up the hardy boys so I place them in his room. I want my daughter to ‘eat up’ the American girl’s books so I place them nicely near her bed. Atop this invitation both from me and visually, the books look nice and signify the character of my child at that time; I like that.

I have liturgical books in whatever area that I will be ‘hanging with my kids’ i.e.: right now they are upstairs in the girls room cuz our routine right now is for me to pray the final rosary prayers and to read to all of the kids from the rocking chair. But, after baby is born, I might move them downstairs near the couch where I will probably read to them after breakfast while I nurse the baby. One of my favorite things is to read and to learn about the liturgical year with my kids; something I put off for too long to get housework and ‘real’ school out of the way; a big mistake on my part!

As for our school books and library of literature; I have boxed up or tucked away yet labeled well the curriculum we are NOT using for the coming year. I do NOT keep very much that I do not KNOW for certain that we are not going to use. It feels better to me that someone else is using it and that I have that extra space. Cramming and piling books, like anything else, will encourage ‘cramming’ and piling to a greater degree and will NOT encourage the child to put the book back where it belongs.

We label each book with a sticker that includes the person who is using this year and the grade they are in. the front sticker will read, “Susie , 9th, 2009/10”. On the back of the book I have a sticker that does NOT change from year to year i.e.:

Lincoln A photo biography

Civil War

5th grade history

Week 27

“Us history and geography for 9th grade

Weeks 17-22

This label includes the title of the book, the time period it is used for, and the grades I will be using it for.

So, someone asks me if they can borrow a book, instead of having to look up my ‘plan’ I can look on the back of the book and let them know yes, or no. If I find the book lying around I know where it goes and who to charge for leaving it out. …you can see the benefit of setting this up this way. I aim to put these labels on each time I make an order and the books arrive. The success of this plan has inspired me to keep up on this.

Homeschooling, ready or not...

Hello!

Today is a Monday. In two days, we will try two days of homeschooling. I'd start tomorrow, but there's a fair to be had. I do it Friday, but there are grandparents to visit. Today is my husband's weekend, so we'll avoid weekends anyway, and I plan to use a basic four day week with a couple of subjects on the fifth. In fact, a very cool person I know thought we could do science together this year, and then another cool person apparently has a whole box of experiment supplies, and then there's this fourth person who loves doing science with kids even if hers aren't very old. So it looks like Wed mornings will work for that, and that means that we will spend that day as our "fifth day" so we can do science and not mess everything else up. Gabe, doing fifth grade this year, will have to read history and do math and practice piano that day as well.

I'm very excited about this year, but also wondering if I'm crazy. I will try homeschooling a fifth grader, a first grader, and a kindergartner. I am supplementing with Mr. 1st grader so much, the syllabus doesn't matter much. Here are the programs we're going to use to supplement with him:


Sing, Spell, Read, Write (1998 ed.)


and:

Math U See Alpha level

The science we're using is this: Apologia Science

It is part of a series, and pretty in depth. It is also creationist, which is very interesting for me to tackle. I'm really on the fence on that particular argument, and it's worth a post of its own. Really. But suffice it to say, it appears easier to supplement creationism than to teach Darwinism and keep saying "but it's not completely proven" all the time. Like I said, it's worth at least one post of it's own. But if you want to start on it yourself, this is the book I'm reading right now:


The Politically Incorrect Guide To Science


Have a great year, homeschooler or not!