Couldn't resist

I have to say, my mom's been getting some beauty forwards lately. I cracked up at this one.

I recently asked my friend's little
> girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she
> wanted to be President some day.
>
> Both of her parents, liberal Democrats,
> were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were
> President what would be the first thing you would do?"
>
> She replied, "I'd give food
> and houses to all the homeless people."
>
> Her parents beamed.
>
> "Wow, what a worthy goal," I
> told her, "but you don't have to wait until
> you're President to do that. You can come over to my
> house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and
> I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the
> grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can
> give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house."
>
> She thought that over for a few
> seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked,
> "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the
> work, and you can just pay him the $50?"
>
> I said, "Welcome to the Republican
> Party."
>
> **Her parents still aren't speaking
> to me.**

Every little decision affects generations of people

I'm re-posting this from the Common Room because it's so important. It's important for families, for military, for adoptive parents, for folks with no money, and to me, most importantly, it points out how important it is to realize your decisions will impact people forever that you might never meet. Read all the way to the bottom.

I will add my two cents. Had abortion been legal in 1944, my mom is pretty sure she would not be here. And if she weren't, then I and my sisters wouldn't be, and my second wouldn't have been adopted by us, and my other birth children would not be here either.

And who knows who my husband would have married. He had interesting taste in girlfriends...

Please take one lesson away from this post (I even copied the comments): YOU matter. Life matters. Your decisions all matter. Now trust God to make them right.
God bless!

Thursday, January 26, 2006
Life is Better Than We Planned

Partial repost that seemed suitable for this week:

We are the recipients of many unplanned blessings, and children are not the least of them.
In this post I want to tell you about two special "unplanned" additions to our family who were adopted. We had three children, had just had a miscarriage, the headmaster was enlisted in the AF, and I was a sahm (this means very little money). We weren't seeking adoption at all, but we heard of two little girls who needed a home together, and we just couldn't come up with a good reason to say no. There was an announcement in our church bulletin asking for prayers for the caseworker who was placing them. I had miscarried only one or two weeks prior. When we came home I asked the headmaster if he'd seen it, and he said yes, and asked if I'd seen it, and I said yes, and we looked at each other. He made the phone call.

One of the children was severely handicapped, and it was unlikely anybody would take on both of them (nearly 4 and 6 at the time) because of the severity of those disabilities. The birth-mother did not want them separated. And so, over the objections of everybody sensible that we knew, we opened our home to this unplanned blessing.

It made no logical, financial, or even emotional sense since I was still
recovering from the grief of a miscarriage at 16 weeks gestation. By the time I had the D&C I needed (often not required, but in my case I had to have it), we had already met the children. In fact, the children arrived the same month our baby would have been born.

It's funny to call an adoption unplanned, but it really was. What little planning we were able to do came to naught. We were supposed to take the children for weekends for a period of a few months so they could get used to us. Instead, before they ever had their first weekend and just two weeks before Christmas the birth mother called we were told to come get them the next day. She had her reasons, and I won't go into them here, but she did have their very best interests at heart.

So... we went to bed with three children and the next morning suddenly gained two more children who came to us with nothing but the clothes on their backs and some immediate and distressing but treatable medical problems, and some longterm and severe medical problems- again, just two weeks before Christmas. We had no clothes for them, no beds, no presents; nothing was in readiness for them, except our hearts (and even those needed some sprucing up).

There were plenty of the super planners in our congregation and others where that same bulletin announcement appeared. They had more financial ability, more space, fewer children, were probably better parents in many ways, had greater nest eggs, more maturity, more wisdom, and certainly better organizational skills than I did. They had the option to adopt these kids, but they didn't because it didn't fit in with their plans. We have two more warm, wonderful, loving, fun, delightful, precious, precious children. They have their nice plans and their nice uninterrupted lives.

I won't say the adjustment period was all sweetness and light and trouble free. It wasn't, of course. We all, the children and their new family, had some adjustments to make and the children had some healing to do. It was hard, and it was busy, and it was often exhausting. But somewhere along the way the hard parts were overwhelmed and outnumbered by the joy, and the children are blended so well and so fully ours that I have actually had to stop and think for a moment about why I can't recall their birth stories. Then I remember that I wasn't there for their births. I can't imagine life without them. We received so much questioning of our decision and we are so blessed by all our children that it's hard sometimes not to feel just a little bit smug about how happy we are, but I do realize that is an unworthy feeling. Happiness and gratitude are more appropriate, and truly, more common.

Incidentally, I was an unplanned baby, too, a honeymoon child. My mother returned from the honeymoon to her doctor who groaned, "Didn't you do anything I said?" She had followed his advice because they had plans. God had different plans. Her pregnancy and delivery were complicated by a condition which usually, under the circumstances in which I was born, result in death or severe brain damage for the baby. I survived, and though some might insist that I am brain damaged, nobody can say it is severe. Had I not been born when I was, I would certainly not have been in the right place and time to receive these other two unplanned, but very much wanted, blessings. And so the gift goes on, generation through generation.

Sometimes the best things in life are NOT planned. Just ask The Happy Housewife.

Posted by Headmistress, zookeeper at 1/26/2006 04:45:00 AM

9 comments:

B. Durbin said...

My mother caught German measles when she was pregnant with my eldest sister. That sister turned out just fine.
1/26/2006 07:38:00 PM
texasfriend said...

Oh, I'd say it was ALL planned. Just not by you. :-)
1/27/2006 11:18:00 AM
Patricia said...

Wow!!! That was beautiful! What a blessing! God is so good! ~ Patricia
1/28/2006 07:41:00 PM
TulipGirl said...

And I wasn't expecting to cry tonight, either. *huuug*
1/29/2006 06:18:00 PM
Concerned Christian said...

I think this is a beautiful testimony to God's blessing in your life. He is teaching you some valuable lessons about contentment and obedience. However, it's important to remember that He teaches his children uniquely, in various ways. If I were a member of your congregation, I would be rightly offended at this comment: "We have two more warm, wonderful, loving, fun, delightful, precious, precious children. They have their nice plans and their nice uninterrupted lives." God's blessing in your life does not have to imply a lack of obedience in someone else's. If it really was God's will for you to adopt those children, then the other church-goers were very much obeying God in allowing you the opportunity to adopt them. Furthermore, it seems presumptious and uncharitable to assume that others hadn't sought God on this matter. God may have good reasons for telling them not to adopt those children. He may be working on their hearts, "interrupting their lives," in a way you aren't even aware of. I feel that you've taken a good story of God's blessing in your life and used it as a way to condemn others, and I don't believe that was His intent. I am happy for you and your family; I just don't believe that this blessing gives you the right to say that other people are not in God's favor. God teaches and blesses us all differently because we all need different things.

Please understand that I say this out of concern and love for all God's children, with all due respect and humility. Your post was a good reminder to me to allow God to bless me in unexpected ways. Let us learn from one another.
1/31/2006 07:53:00 AM
Headmistress, zookeeper said...

Concerned, I appreciate your concern, but I fear you are doing in your comment exactly what you condemn me for. It seems to me that since one of us was actually a member of that congregation and one of us doesn't even know where that congregation is or any of the people in it, I might actually know something about it. Some of those people volunteered the information from their own mouths that they didn't make the phone call because.... 'our car isn't big enough,' or 'it would be inconvenient for my job.' We actually heard criticism and disagreement voiced with our decision to adopt, and most astonishing to us were the number of people who demanded, "Why on earth would you do that?!!"

Which of us, you or me, was told _not_ to do this? I was told that it was impossible for people to love a child not related to them by blood as much as one's own biological child.

So one of us is certainly presuming and assuming something here, but since I know for a fact by their own statements that some specific members of that congregation did not pray about it at all before deciding that not having a car large enough was a sufficient reason not to pursue adoption, I must point out that you are quite mistaken in your assumption that I don't know that some of them didn't seek God's will in the matter.

Please understand that I offer this suggestion with all due respect and humility and out of concern- it's nearly always a mistake to presume to jump to negative conclusions about a person when they are recounting a situation where you were not involved and do not know more of the particulars than you were given here.
1/31/2006 08:56:00 AM
Not-so Concerned Anymore said...

Headmistress, Thank you for your clarifying response. I am relieved to know that I was wrong, and feel better having a little more information. I may have reacted defensively, myself, because what you wrote originally was offensive to me. Sometimes things in writing come across in an offensive manner, and I felt i needed to point out how that came across. Maybe I should have assumed that much from what wasn't said. I apologize if I came off as judgmental. I too am tired of people making rash statements that are untrue or uncharitable. I hate to think that I came off poorly myself. (This is the problem with written communication, I guess. Too much opportunity for misinterpretation.)

Having the added information, I would agree with you that those people were unkind to you. I would probably be as frustrated as you are! I trust that you handled their remarks with dignity and grace.

Thank you for giving me the bigger picture. I know I wasn't involved in this situation and in my mind I was giving you the benefit of the doubt; my written response was for other people's benefit. I see now that I probably should have expressly given you the benefit of the doubt in my response. I was actually more concerned that what was written sounded unkind, and I wouldn't want people reading it to get the impression that Christians are unkind or uncharitable. I fear we already have that reputation with some.

Again, thank you for the clarification in writing. It is comforting to me to know where your true frustration lies; now I feel free to rejoice with your excitement and to grieve with your frustration.
1/31/2006 09:38:00 AM
Headmistress, zookeeper said...

{{hugs}}
1/31/2006 10:12:00 AM
Jenee said...

I just read this after following a friend's link. We are involved in a somewhat unplanned adoption ourselves and very, very excited about it it depite the ugly comments of those who think we already have "enough" children. Thank you for your touching story! ocarrolls.blogspot.com
8/07/2007 09:35:00 PM

Protestants Defending Catholics -- thank you!

I really liked reading this today. This is much bigger news than it is being given credit for. God bless them, every one.

It's nice to know such wonderful people have noticed and will stand up for us.


BreakPoint.org
Statement of Protestant Leaders Against Anti-Catholic Bigotry

As Protestant Christians and as Americans, we condemn the grotesque anti-Catholic bigotry that is now on display as a result of the Supreme Court’s recent decision upholding the constitutionality of the federal law prohibiting partial-birth abortion.

We denounce as particularly odious a cartoon published by the Philadelphia Inquirer depicting the five justices who formed the majority in the case wearing Catholic bishops’ mitres. Scarcely less offensive were the comments of law professor, and former University of Chicago Law School Dean, Geoff Stone identifying the Catholic religious affiliation of the justices forming the majority and accusing these distinguished and honorable jurists of imposing their religion rather than faithfully interpreting the Constitution.

We believe it is our particular duty to condemn the bigotry we are now witnessing in view of the history of anti-Catholicism in our nation. It is a stain on the Protestant Christian conscience that at one time many of our people accepted the vile teachings of Paul Blanshard in his book American Freedom and Catholic Power, and supported the anti-Catholic agenda of the group founded by Blanshard and others that now styles itself “Americans United for Separation of Church and State” (formerly known as Protestants and Other Americans United for Separation of Church and State).

Just as Pope John Paul II acknowledged past injustices committed by Catholics, or committed in the name of Catholicism, against Protestants, Jews, and others and pledged to work against any revival of these injustices, we acknowledge past Protestant prejudices against Catholics and pledge to fight against the anti-Catholic bigotry we are now witnessing. Our Catholic brothers and sisters will not have to wait to hear our voices forcefully raised against the bigotry now directed against them.

Because evil begets evil, we are not surprised that bigotry would emerge among those who have placed themselves in the service of the moral abomination known as partial-birth abortion. For our part, we praise any judge, statesman, or citizen—irrespective of religious affiliation—who steps forward to tell the truth about the injustice of this horrific practice, or to expose the lie that baby-killing is somehow protected by our Constitution.

We call on our fellow Protestant Christians of every denomination—including those denominations that do not share our view that the life of the child in the womb must be honored and protected by law—to join with us in condemning the new anti-Catholicism that has, in the aftermath of the partial-birth abortion decision, reared its ugly head. We hope that no Protestant Christian will bring shame on himself or herself and on the great tradition of Reformed Christianity by participating in this appalling bigotry or remaining mute in the face of it.

We also call on groups that present themselves as enemies of prejudice, including “Americans United for Separation of Church and State,” to join with us in condemning the Philadelphia Inquirer cartoon and other manifestations of anti-Catholic bigotry. This is a time of testing for them. Are they selective opponents of prejudice? Do they regard anti-Catholicism as an acceptable form of bigotry? Are they content to see Catholics treated in ways that they would be the first to condemn if the victims were members of other religious traditions or minorities? By responding or failing to respond to our plea to them to join us in condemning the injustice being suffered by our Catholic fellow citizens, we will soon know whether their claim to oppose prejudice and bigotry is an honest one or mere hypocrisy.

Signed//

Gary Bauer
President, American Values

Bishop Wellington Boone
Wellington Boone Ministries

Dick Bott
President, Bott Radio Network

Phil Burress
President, Citizens for Community Values

Dr. Dale Burroughs
President, Biblical Heritage Institute

Alan Chambers
President, Exodus International

Charles W. Colson
Founder, PFM

David Crowe
Director, Restore America

Elizabeth Harmer Dionne
Executive Director, Legacy Law Foundation

Mark L. Earley
President, PFM

Diane Gramley
President, American Family Association of Pennsylvania

Colin A. Hanna
President, Let Freedom Ring, Inc.

Cathi Herrod
President, The Center for Arizona Policy

Dr. John A. Huffman
Pastor, St. Andrew’s Presbyterian Church, Newport Beach, California

Dr. Kenneth Hutcherson
Pastor, Antioch Bible Church, Antioch, Washington

Phillip L. Jauregui
President, Judicial Action Group

Warren Kelley, President
Point of View Radio Ministries

Rod D. Martin, J.D.
Founder and Chairman, TheVanguard.Org

Dean Nelson
Executive Director, Network of Politically Active Christians

Dr. Frank S. Page
President, Southern Baptist Convention

Tony Perkins
President, Family Research Council

Rev. Louis P. Sheldon
Chairman, Traditional Values Coalition

Ron Shuping
Exec. VP of Programming, The Inspiration Networks

John Stemberger
President & General Counsel, Florida Family Policy Council

Jim Tonkowich
President, Institute for Religion and Democracy

Rick Warren
Pastor, Saddleback Church, Lake Forest, California

Dr. Hayes Wicker
Pastor, First Baptist Church Naples, Naples, Florida

Donald E. Wildmon
Founder and Chairman, American Family Association

Dr. Frank Wright
President & CEO, National Religious Broadcasters

Wendy Wright
President, Concerned Women for America

Appreciation is nice

I really like Sardonic Catholic Dad. He says and posts something I like at least once a week. Here's another goodie.

This post is for all the stay-at-home homeschool providing, mothers of the world. Not that I don’t love the rest of you too. But SAH teaching mommas are what I know.

I’m always hearing wives refer to their husbands as Heroes. Hero this and Hero that. In particular you hear it when they talk about their husbands going off to work to provide for the families. Well that is a nice sentiment and flattering to hear. But it’s really bunk. Mothers are the real Heroes.

Cooking, cleaning, shopping, bathing kids, changing diapers, changing kids clothes 5 times a day, settling fights, putting on band-aids, putting kids down for napes, nursing, laundry, never going to bathroom alone, sports and activities chauffer, story time, gardening, ironing (does anyone iron anymore?), doctors appointment, running the trashcans to the curb as the trash truck is pulling away (a treat for the trash men I’m sure), picking up the cleaning, dropping the car off at the shop, trying to look nice when hubby comes up, trying to be in them mood, plunging toilets, dressing dolls, fixing broken toys and 100 other things that come up each day.

And in the midst of all that they still have to find time to teach the kids. How do they do all this and not go completely nuts? I really have zero idea. It’s a wonder more husbands aren’t shot by their wives. Especially when we do things like, come home from work and ask why the house is dirty and dinner isn’t on the table and our wives aren’t dressed like super models.

Ladies I’m going to let you in on a little secret. One your husband’s might not want me to spill. With a few notable exceptions; psych-boss, birthday party coordinator at Chuck E Cheese (is there a worst place in the world to go then Chuck E Cheese? Vermont and Wyoming are the only two states that have not been infested by this menace – I may have to more to one of them), job as a chicken plucker, being a podiatrist…..men like going to work. Sure we might not like getting dressed-up (if our job requires it) or the commute if it’s long or the pointless meetings bosses love to have so they can give the appearance they are actually doing something, but otherwise work ain’t all that bad. Most of the places I’ve worked at have had a least a few cool guys there. Ones you could yak about sports or workout with at lunch. I have my own office and people rarely are in it bugging me. I could take a 3 hour nap each afternoon and no one would know.

The quiet of the office is often a welcome change from the craziness of the home. So don’t feel to sorry for us or put us up on a pedestal (well you can if you want and a massage is always nice too). But you gals are the real heroes and the glue that keeps family together.

So guys when you get home to a less than perfect house and less than perfect kids, why don’t you thank your wife anyway or better yet take her out to dinner or finish cooking dinner and let her take a bubble bath or whatever she enjoys.

So this is for all you homeschooling sweeties out there. Keep up the great work.

Our Newest Arrival for Thanksgiving

After much cussing out of pregnancy tests that were indecisive, a little over a week ago we found out we are expecting child #5. I love saying that, because I always feel like I'm lying. Ready for the explanation? Really?

Ok, don't say I didn't warn you!

This is pregnancy #6. I have four children. One is adopted. So I have had three live births, two in heaven, and one more on the way, we hope. I "cheated" with child #2, because he did not come from my body. While it took a while to "have" him, I have to say, there was no physical pain involved. Kind of nice, actually.

Two miscarriages occurred in 2005 and 2006. They were awful. The first wasn't so bad, but made us sad, nonetheless. The second involved huge blood clots over and over, a drive to the nearby hospital, and an emergency D&C surgery with my blood pressure dropping fast. You never want to say, "Hey, I feel funny," have them check your vitals in the ER, and then have them drop everything and talk rather quickly to the other nurses, who hush him up so they won't scare me. Then off I went upstairs for surgery. DH was outside telling people what was going on on the phone, and almost didn't get there before they wheeled me away. When I woke up, everything was physically ok, and for that I am thankful. I have been introduced to grief, and that has helped me understand others much better than before.

I know some other people have had worse experiences than this. I could continue, but I think I won't, because this is supposed to be a happy post.

We are very happy that we are having one, though I can't say it was really our idea. Really, it's not the baby that scares me, it's the birth. Babies are great! I love kids! The kids have been begging for another kid lately, and they must have been praying, because I would say God was listening.

We use NFP, and I was charting and mostly avoiding pregnancy, and then I was taking some topical hormones to treat another condition which is probably TMI (too much information!), but I may post about it someday, as it is quite educational. Too many ointments means I didn't read my signs right, and possibly my whole cycle shifted, and so here we are.

For the last child, I found out my body did not produce enough progesterone to keep the placenta alive, and so I needed supplements. I took progesterone until week 22, and that's why Dominic is alive and well. So I'm on it again, and getting my blood checked very other week til that level goes through the roof, at which point we'll know my placenta has kicked in naturally.

My other worry is bronchitis. I have the worst time breathing toward the end. It's worse with each kid. But now I have an inhaler, so I hope to stave that off. I also have been exercising, and am able to run a mile still. I hope that will keep my body strong.

Back labor is my absolute worst nightmare. Gabe and Dominic both did this to me. Grace did not. That's why, after Grace, I thought, Oh, I can do that again, that wasn't too bad. But I did NOT think that after Dominic. I thought, NEVER AGAIN. But now what? Well, with three kids, I've done midwife water births in a birth facility. I loved the personal attention and flexibility and amazing care I got. I highly recommend it. I had NO drugs. May I add that Dominic is my linebacker baby at 9 lbs. 10 oz? Coming out sunny side up? That means his spine against my spine. That's not the right way, in case you were wondering. Not as bad as breech, probably, but not fun. For him, either. He came out bruised and scratched from my pelvis and his long, two weeks overdue fingernails! But he looked cute in a week or so.

So this time, I'm trying out a doctor two friends recommend. I get to meet him on Friday, early in the pregnancy, because I've raised so much heck about the progesterone. And a hospital I like, which is at least a Catholic hospital which has treated people I know well. I still would rather go back to my midwife friends, but I won't know if back labor lies in wait for me until I'm in labor. That's a bad time to change your mind about who is in charge and where you will be. So I will try this, and that way I can stop worrying about a lack of pain meds if back labor it is to be. I know it could still not quite work, but I'm willing to chance it. It sounds like this doc will listen when I say I don't want a c-section unless things are just ridiculous. I have given birth three times. My body knows how, and I think it will be fine. I just need doctors who understand that.

It's nice to write this all down. Thanks for putting up with me.

Looks like we're due Thanksgiving Day. July is probably when I can say if it's a boy or a girl. I had a terrible time naming the last one, so please pray we agree on SOMETHING! If it's a girl, that would be helpful!

But healthy would be the best, and we'll keep praying for that!
Thank you God, for giving me what is best for me, not what I think is best for me.
Amen.

A very important article for homeschoolers

I really like this article. It is really, really important. I think this happens because our kids don't get corrected automatically because they aren't in school, and we forget and let some things go. The kids still grow up to be normal most of the time, but meanwhile, I think it's a valid point to say we are not encouraging people to think we have a valid lifestyle if our kids have no manners.

See this link: I Hate Large, Homeschooling Families

Climate Change Scientists

Today on Facebook I came across this article. It is a few years old, but very pertinent, because I'm seeing more and more shutting up of some scientists vs. other scientists. I'm pretty amazed that folks like to use Galileo as an example of science being shut up by religion, when in fact, some scientists are treating science like a religion and will put up with no disagreement, even when the science is staring them right in the face.


http://www.opinionjournal.com/extra/?id=110008220

This article explains a lot about that. Recently on Facebook, I was disagreeing that humans are the main cause of changes on the planet, and people told me, "But, the scientists all say such and such". So here's one scientist, from MIT, no less, who begs to differ. Fight fire with fire, I say.

I find this happens with Darwin and stem cell research, too. What is going on, really? I hate to be a conspiracy theorist, but things are starting too look eerily similar. I guess whatever it is might be in history class 500 years from now. If they teach history then, that is.

I think I need to make a list of books and movies that are apt to remind us to keep our eyes open. Let's see if I can start:

Books: 1984, Brave New World, The Giver
Movies: Expelled, Lord of the Rings, The Matrix and sequels,
TV Shows: Battlestar Galactica
Leaders with eyes open: Ron Paul, Alan Keyes, Dave Ramsey, Pope Benedict XVI, The Dalai Lama

Help me out with the list, people!