I am reminded of something over and over, and it's in this book and on this website:
http://www.mothersruleoflife.com/
Disclaimer: Very important: Do NOT read this book in order to find "the perfect system". It is for you to read to make your own system, and to keep your priorities in order. Everyone wants to skip them, including me, and that is why people dismiss this book. In fact, the first half of the book is largely about the individual level of spiritual warfare the author had to deal with first, and that may be more important than the rest of the book.
She also has a question/answer website, and a workbook pdf you can buy online if that helps.
Remember the Five P's. THEY ARE IN ORDER. If you screw up the order, you shoot yourself in the foot. DO NOT try to argue with yourself about the order. You will only prolong the process, I promise.
The Five P's are: PRAYER, PERSON, PARTNER, PARENT, PROVIDER.
NOT the other way around, which is very, very often what we are doing. Which is why we are frustrated. You can't reach the level God asks you to reach as a person without prayer, you can't be a good partner to your spouse if you aren't taking care of yourself first, you can't be a good parent in the fullest way if you are neglecting any of the first three P's, and you are going to be one frazzled provider if you aren't doing the first four. When we put provider first, we sometimes neglect things that will be more important in 20 years, even if they don't seem important now.
So go give some thought and prayer to that, and chew on it a while. :)
Thursday, August 6, 2009
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I find that sometimes it is worthwhile to focus my energies a little higher on my priority list if I can't seem to make it get to the top in one step. I often have a hard time calming down enough to focus on PRAYER if I haven't gone for a run (PERSON). Now, it is important for me to realize that the PRAYER is the end and PERSON is only the means, otherwise I get twisted around even more, putting myself at the head of the universe.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I have read MROL a couple of times and can get distracted by the story of another person's struggles rather than focusing on what I should be prioritizing, my own life.
Thanks for the comment, Rikki-san. I think I have a similar phenomenon with PARENT and PROVIDER - it's hard to parent unless you have basic needs provided for. But providing just clears the way to parent - material needs aren't the be-all, end-all.
ReplyDeleteI haven't read MRoL yet, but really want to. I suspect it won't be terribly useful for me, but it might have something someone else might be interested in that I can pass on - and only 1% of a book needs to be useful for it to be worth reading, if that 1% is the thing you really needed to hear.
E, I actually think MROL would really really apply to your life because she doesn't try to do it all, she just does what is on the list for that day. I tend to freak out about what I didn't do yesterday and what I have to do tomorrow and end up getting much less done in the TODAY part of my life (AM stop laughing). She really makes a case that unless you take care of your relationship with God, then yourself, then your marriage, and kids and job after that, then you will always be driving yourself nuts. I must say (like others we know) that I thought I was waaaaay smarter than that and could rearrange the order, but it really doesn't matter if you are a SAHM or your family's provider, if you don't keep what is first first you are just shooting yourself in the foot.
ReplyDeleteAdmittedly, I can see how PROVIDER can get really big and heavy when you are that person, and I'm not suggesting shirking that at all, but keeping what really matters in mind can keep the PERSON sane sometimes.
A way of thinking that has sometimes helped me is, we need money now and the kids need attention now, but in 20 years I still want to have a good relationship with my spouse, so I have to make time for that today, I want to be healthy enough to enjoy life in 40 years so I have to take care of my body today, and I want to enjoy heaven with God for eternity so I need to tend that relationship today! As much as the money seems important now, it won't matter if your eternity is fiery or your marriage sucks.
Lots of Love,
-E