What the Hey?

New Blog

2010-03-09T21:25:00.000-08:00

Hello,
If you still check here, I finally gave up trying to reconstruct this blog, and have now moved along to here: www.readtheotherday.wordpress.com. It will be mostly about um... stuff I've read! Surprise!

Hopefully I'll be able to make it look pretty. It's hard to get used to a new format, but it does appear to move a little faster than this one when uploading and such. Occasionally I'll have some family news on there, too, but I will mostly stick to books and other things I've read.

Love to you!
Annaberri

oops. I think I deleted a lot

2010-01-03T13:54:00.000-08:00

Just so you know, I did not mean to delete all the comments. If I can get them back, I will, but I just outsmarted myself by messing with the settings and didn't import them. I will attempt later to get them back, since many were valuable to me. They are saved, I think. If you need to log in now to comment, I apologize, but I do find trolling annoying. If you have a disagreeable comment to make, the least you can do is have the balls to tell me who you are.

I like disagreeable characters. I love chatting with them. I just like to know who they are. Common courtesy, dontcha know. You can be disagreeable as long as you use your brain, instead of trolling on purpose, which used to be called bullying. And as we know from elementary school, bullies are cowards.

Happy New Year, and welcome to 2010!!

Books

2009-12-31T19:32:00.000-08:00

I LOVE books.

I know, you are surprised. Very surprised. I'm one of those people who say, "hey, I have a book for that" for practically every problem. I was trying to figure out what to write a book report on, but I'm not sure I can concentrate that long yet, esp. since I'm reading about five books at once again, because Christmas came. Silly Christmas. My mom and dad are no help. :)

My dad got me "Bless Me Father, For I Have Kids" by Susie Lloyd. He got me her first book, too. She has great Catholic mommy humor. Truly great. A way with words.

My husband got me the Pioneer Woman cookbook. It is her blog, only in a book. Tons of pictures, and delightfully simple, yummy, ranch food that is not diet food. GREAT book. She is sooooo funny. You've never seen a cookbook like this!

I'm working through the Story of the World series with Gabe. He begs me to read it every night. Happily, it is as objective as it can really get, being history and all. It's also very good as WORLD history and as a story book. It includes Chinese, African and any other history that is written anywhere. Not just wester civ. Exactly what I needed. Also, she wrote "The Well-Trained Mind" and other books, and that is very educational as well!

A new book to us, but one that comes highly recommended, is "Boundaries". I have a feeling it's a truly great one. Really. It covers relationships with EVERYONE, even your own self. And it covers spiritual warfare, too. It puts problems in perspective: only you can actually solve them, don't blame anyone else. Very correct.

The kids are teaching the two year old to play the wii, and it is going very well. I have to go for now, but I will try to link those paragraphs to amazon for you later.

Happy reading!!

Happy New Year

2009-12-31T16:03:00.000-08:00

I figure I've got 3.5 seconds before Gianna would like a word with me. She is six weeks old tomorrow! Wow. That was quick. She sleeps pretty well, but she seems to seriously want time with Daddy when he gets home, which is 11 pm. A bit late, but I'm happy to hand her over and go to sleep til she gets hungry or he gives her back. I think it's hilarious. Not really. But an odd trend for one so young.

Today is the end of a decade. The last time that happened, I was on my way north from LA, with my husband, about three months along with our oldest. We were driving a Saturn SC2 with a cat in it. Said cat is still alive, and now belongs to my sister. SC2 is long gone. Sadly.

This year was quite a year. Really quite a year. Some things I probably should not say too much about, yet strangely enough those were some of the biggest things. Probably the biggest thing, to sum up, was that we got out of debt. All of it. Except the mortgage. Wow. In fact, I just got a letter from HSBC that my dinky little $300 credit card has been cancelled due to lack of use. I was going to do that myself, but oh well, too late now. Grr.... Our credit cards were paid off last year almost to the dollar by our tax refund. We have not touched them since. I've also been such a good girl that my new debit card allows me to withdraw enough in one swoop to fix the car when it breaks. Last time I had to write a check.

Why? Because of Dave Ramsey. We LOVE Dave Ramsey. If he was Catholic, he should be a saint.

The other big thing this year is that we had baby #5. Gianna is doing great, and we are happy to have her. She is just beautiful. All the kids adore her. Daddy adores her. It's funny, because at the start of this decade, I was totally panicked about just one, because we had no money. Now, I have five. What happened? A lot. Much of it spiritual, much of it circumstance, but as Obi-Wan Kenobi says in the Star Wars movies, "There is no such thing as coincidence." Coincidence is my personal reason for believing in God. Just the way He speaks to me, I guess.

Will I be having five more children this decade? While physically possible, I don't really think so. But I can't really rule it out, either. I am in my early 30's after all. A new house and van will have to happen, though. Seriously getting tight around here.

Gianna says my time is up. Have a blessed new year, new decade, and get busy turning over a new leaf. It's exciting!

Commercial Break

2009-12-21T13:16:00.001-08:00

Yes, the last post was November 25th. I know. I am sorry.

I think I will say that I will be back right after Christmas. I just need to regroup. Took too much on in the home organization department, but when you can't walk in your kids' room anymore, you don't want it that way come Christmas.

So a lot of stuff is gone, a lot is in the carport, and a lot is in the crib. The Christmas cards are bought. The pictures taken. The baptism has occurred and was lovely.

But despite the nagging bloggy thoughts I'm having, I'm going to go balance my checkbook instead. I will be back. I promise.

MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Introducing Gianna Caeli

2009-11-25T09:23:00.000-08:00

Our little girl was born!

Gianna Caeli (chay-lee) was born on Friday night at 7:37 pm at Northwest Hospital. She was 7 lbs 8 oz and 19.5 in. At her first ped. appt she was only 6.15! I have never had a baby this small! However, she is healthy and very cooperative, since she stopped labor just long enough for us to go to the adoptions of Gabe and Josh! Lucky us! She has been a very good baby, doing lots of sleeping and eating, and when she's awake, she just looks around with her great big eyeballs. Hardly a peep! I shall detail a birth story later. I was intrigued to find out what a hospital birth was like after three midwife center water births. I have to say, I like epidurals, even if they are not perfect. There's good and bad for both choices, and I'm just so glad we have so many options where we live!

Thanks for all your prayers, they were very much felt. I just couldn't believe it when the birth was already over in half the time it has taken in the past!

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Today's doings and a book report

2009-11-17T17:12:00.000-08:00

Today we went to the hospital because some sort of clear liquid went down my legs. But no contractions. So we went to the hospital, and it was nothing much. Thanks to two friends who babysat in roundabout fashion while I watched TLC and the Discovery Channel at the hospital. Wheee! What did I watch? Adoption Story and Baby Story. I watched Dennis Miller until he decided it was fun to make dumb Pope jokes, which I feel are beneath him. Change of channel. One lady in Baby Story had twins at home on the floor, labor happened so fast! SCARY!

There is no labor going on here.

We have been remodeling the kitchen, and it is pretty much done, and it is gorgeous. Will have to post some pics of that.

I was thinking how much I wish I could insert a microchip in my husband's head. That microchip would contain the books I've been reading. He almost never reads what I read, and me telling him what it was just doesn't do it justice at all. It seems this is a common wife complaint. Guys tend to have the attention span only for magazines. Oddly, the sci fi and fantasy books he does read are actually pretty tough reading. And not what I would seek out. I do read them sometimes. We both really like George RR Martin's fantasy series, but he's putting off Dance With Dragons FOREVER, and it's killing me! But that's an example of something we both like.

I thought earlier in this blog that I might change the tack of things somewhat. It might be fun to do book reports. I know Barb wants me to. So far I've only got to recommendations, but I'd like to actually do a sort of book journal, and copy whole paragraphs in here for folks to peruse and reflect upon. I think I shall try.

Rikki's husband came upon a book called Eliminate Chaos, by a local author and home organizer. I have to say, it's by far the best book on the subject I have seen. Before and after pics help, and she just has a lot of really good ideas, along with some ideas on how we got stuck in our big mess anyway.

Here is the book!

I shall be using this book. Happily, my kitchen has been decluttered, because I had to box everything and take it out. Now I shall only put back in what I really use. Hooray! Huzzah! Then I can go after the boy's room. Notice, I am carefullly avoiding my own room, which is too scary to contemplate. We shall not be allowed to move til I conquer this place, though. You'd think that would motivate me, wouldn't you?

Time to go make dinner for the two kids who are home. Two others have gone to a pack meeting with daddy, which I am soooooo thankful for. Thank you honey!!!

Adoption Day cometh for Rikki-San!

2009-11-15T21:39:00.000-08:00

Hooray!

I hear tidings of great joy are in order for the family of Rikki, who does NOT post on here anymore. Ahem. Too much time on Farmville, perhaps? :P

In any case, they will adopt their now oldest soon. Friday, in fact. Hip, hip, hooray! I will have to move my OB appt around this. But that's how important it is! Even my husband will be home. Apparently the lawyer told J he could be a (insert Rikki's last name here), but he told the lawyer he already was one. LOL!

Ha ha ha!!

Ok, so now say your prayers for another family I know, who, with much luck, could be having their adoption day at the exact same time and place, were it not for people who do not call people back. Perhaps they shall call soon (like tomorrow!) and the whole thing can proceed. Oh boy oh boy oh boy.

Now, on with the baptisms!!

I should not eat ice cream before bed.

A bit of an update on that whole thing.

2009-11-15T15:17:00.001-08:00

I thought I'd post this, too.

I think there are two things to learn here, maybe.

One, ask for help. DO NOT WAIT until you have a major crisis if you can possibly help it. If you don't like relying on others, I guarantee sometime in your life, God will humble you by making it so you don't have a choice, and can learn from that. I'm not a fan of learning God's lessons the hard way, but in hindsight, it's always what was best for me. Stay at home moms can be extremely guilty of this, but so can anyone.

Do not tempt God. If you do not learn the lesson the first time, He will be back. Some people call this karma. Same difference to me, it's real.

Secondly, do not judge. It is hard not to, humans are judgemental creatures. It is soooo hard not to, believe me, I know. But often I'll make a judgemental statement and have it erased and be feeling foolish within minutes. Seriously. You'd think I'd learn. Happened today, in fact.

I cannot be in another person's shoes. I hope they make different decisions sometimes, but love and joy are things that are often overlooked. Prayer can be the best thing.

Here is the update on Dawn. I had learned of this earlier, but now that it's public, I assume permission was given to share this kind of info for the betterment of others. I should also point out that I feared some serious unhappy emails after my last letter, below. I thought surely I'd get all kinds of "CPS sucks" kinds of emails. But no! At least five people wrote to thank me for adding a bit of perspective and to share how they found out CPS could be helpful. Oh, thank God. I was so blessed by their responses!

Ok, ok, here it is:

Dear ones,

I have received numerous requests for an update. Thank you on behalf of Dawn, Dillon, John and family for your love, concern and many prayers and sacrifices!

The outcome of the more permanent placement decision was delayed by the judge until Monday the 23rd.

I am realizing that God is working for full healing, not just the temporary fix. This process is a severe mercy.

Dawn is in immediate need of medication for serious chemical imbalances in her brain and body that until she accepts, she will not able to safely and successfully care for herself, Dillon or her husband.

As many of you know, she is extremely adverse to non "natural" treatments. The specific types of medications she needs will necessitate her ceasing breastfeeding which is a great grief and cross for her. She has a few days left to nurse in between supplementing before starting treatment. The baby is still with the court appointed relative and she has very limited and stressful access to him. She needs that grace to make the right choices and follow through to get stabilized so she can get her health, her baby and her life back.

Pray that all the care providers and people she works with are kind, compassionate, full of wisdom and that the medication/treatment she will need has no side effects and works quickly and safely.

Presently, she is with her sister in Seattle. I know she would appreciate Weston Price/Traditional food type meals (whole foods, soaked grains, home made bone broths soups etc.) I am willing to get them to her, but I cannot organize this. More than anything they need prayers. Please continue praying!

God Bless you dear ones!

Holy Family pray for all of our families.
St. Michael and all the angels defend them.
St. Joseph protect them.
Our Lady of La Leche pray for them.
Jesus save and heal them.

My response to the CPS part of Robin's letter

2009-11-14T07:49:00.001-08:00

The breastfeeding part was just one part, of course, if you read the rest, there was a newborn taken from its parents by CPS this week. I have met the mom more than once, and I have heard of the risk factors. I decided to really go out on a limb and send this to the group Robin sends her letters to. We'll see what kind of mail I get in response. Sigh...

Dear Friends,

I just wanted to send out a few thoughts, though please keep in mind I'm not in
direct contact with her particular situation, as I'm sure many of us are not. I
know some folks are pretty hot-blooded on the subject of CPS, and sometimes for
good reason, but please bear with me.

The reason I want to share is because I've been a foster parent, and have
adopted a child from the "system". I know I'm not the only one on this list who
has. I have met Dawn previously, probaby up to seven years ago and on occasion
since, usually at pro-life activities, and we have many friends in common. In
fact, had we known, there are at least two of us who have met Dawn who are
licensed by the state and in the same county and could have kept him at our
homes. But we did not know in time.

CPS does not take away newborns lightly, in my experience. They do not keep
them away from moms and dads for long if they can possibly help it. There are
the occasional social workers who are terrible, but they are seriously in the
minority. We had absolutely wonderful social workers, both through DCFS and
through CCS (Catholic Commm. Services). We have two friends who are adopting
hopefully in the next couple of months, and while frustrating, it is also very
rewarding to foster to adopt.

I want folks to know that if Dawn and her husband stay as calm as possible and
do what the court orders, that baby could be back in their arms within days. If
there is a real problem, that may not happen right away. I have seen many cases
where I dearly, dearly wish a child had NOT been returned to its birth parents,
because I feared for its safety, and I think and pray for those children all the
time. I have seen parents get too MANY chances, not too few. But I have also
seen cases where CPS has torn families apart who did not deserve it.

Whoever is caring for Dawn's child is very likely to be falling in love with
him, too. Please keep everyone in your prayers. One thing that I see happen in
these situations is that people do not know what the steps are in this
situation, so they automatically make CPS and co. out to be the "bad guys".
That may or may not be the case. I don't know. And that's the point, neither
do most of us. There is quite a bit of privacy involved in these cases, so when
they make the newswaves, people all make judgements without possbily knowing the
whole story.

I dearly hope the baby is returned soon, and his family can work on their
healing together. I can't imagine a much more traumatic experience. Please
just pray, and try not to judge without all of the information. Sometimes these
situations turn into a huge blessing of help and services and information the
parents did not know they needed. I hope this is the case this time.

More wisdom from Robin

2009-11-14T07:22:00.000-08:00

Robin, you may remember, is someone who has just had her 13th child, and she was inviting many people from our area up to her house to take a look at how she does things and also to glean wisdom from each other.

When Joseph was born, he had breastfeeding issues. He's doing better, but this really is interesting to read. It's quite long, so bear with it, but tuck any useful info away in your head in case it helps to share her experience with others someday. Apparently it was a simple issue of being tongue-tied, but Robin didn't know that. So many of us who homeschool are also sort of crunchy granola types who don't want to do anything medical that isn't absolutely necessary, and so we put things off too long. Being sure that breast is best is one of those struggles. But sometimes, you just can't nurse. It isn't a failure! It just is.

I was at the baptism, so I did witness her first outing! It was beautiful.

So, here comes more Robin for your daily diet.

Friends,

Thank you for so many things; most of all the prayers for a safe labor and delivery.

Also, I want to thank you for your assistance and prayers as I struggled to determine how to overcome the breastfeeding and eating issues that Joseph and I have been moving through.

It’s been a long, rich, month of learning and bonding for us and our entire family.
In time I will type up the notes that I’ve kept about what I’ve learned from this experience specifically related to breastfeeding, that, in turn might help some of you one day. This note it more personal and about the experience as a whole, a little bit about our desire to breast feed our son but mostly about what a difference it made that I was able to ask for help and how invaluable your advice and support was.

Above all, I knew hundreds of people were praying for us and this was what they had to offer at this time; I felt it.

I want to take this time to say ‘thank you’ now. And, as much as I’d like to get a personal ‘thank you’ note to each of you who made such kind gestures, I probably never will. Thank you for the prayers, the kind notes, the words of wisdom, for calling your friends who then called me to share their wisdom, for the text’s, phone calls, food, breast milk; each and every effort has enabled me to focus on my baby, building up my strength and aiding my family to adjust to the newness and challenges. Every effort that was made was helpful!

Humbly, I admit, my situation can seem to me or to you at times as ‘nothing’ when compared to cancer or other tragedies, and it is so good to be reminded of that daily; what I’m trying to say is I think it is good to consider our crosses in light of others. In fact, I reminded myself of my current struggles in light of some of our past times of crisis and asked God to make clear to me really how big of a deal this all is. It was a good time for contemplating and recognizing this still is and was big deal to me and so many of you seem to think so too. Truly, the inability to provide the nourishment or nurturing that I’m used to being able to provide to my child at a time so vulnerable for both he and for me was an incredible burden at times if I let it be; many of you lightened that burden.

Also, thank you to those of you who risked sharing your story and encouraged me to be open to never being able to transition to breast feeding only; I know your struggle personally now and I empathize with all the sacrifice and decisions there are to make in cases like these. For those of you who were not able to transition to breastfeeding, I pray you’ll be able to rejoice with me as our steps towards succeeding at breastfeeding is growing each day yet still feel the confidence that you did exactly what God was asking for you at that time of your life.
I can see clearly that if I did not have the support system I had there is NO way I could have done what I did and God would have been asking me to sacrifice in a different way; as you did.

I learned a lot over the last month since Joseph was born; a lot about breastfeeding a tired baby and how to build up one’s milk, but, most importantly I learned to better listen to God each minute, each hour, each day and to yearn to hear His will in my intuition -trusting that, regardless of the outcome, that He is allowing these circumstances at this moment in time as an opportunity to be closer to Him and to emulate some sort of virtue to my family. Albeit persevering with the many ways to try and get him to nurse and to build up my milk supply and all of the sacrifice this requires from all of us, or, adding more supplementation recognizing that God might be asking me to humbly forgo at least some of my efforts and to focus on energy elsewhere at this time. In either case, and every variation in between, a mother’s calling is to remain close to God and as Mary answered her Fiat, to pray God’s will be done regardless of the outcome. Because of all of you, because of this challenge, I feel a little bit closer to understanding this, so, I thank God and I thank you.

I have had a lot of medical ‘stuff’ to deal with in the last 2 decades with my children and some of them, as some of you know, have been tragic and life threatening, but this one was so very different. I think in other cases so much was literally out of my hands; left to the experts and I just had to be obedient to their asking – prayerful and humble too -but mostly so much was relatively out of my ‘hands’. In this case, I felt so empowered one minute and absolutely helpless the next; I never imagined not being able to provide nutrients for my baby. I think it was the fact that I had so many options this time and the future was so unknown; I had to make so many decision and discern what was really best for son and for my family all while I was tired, fatigued and hormonal. (thank you for praying for my husband and teenage boys! J)

More than once I was alone with my son, with no milk and no way to supplement. This was really only momentary in the scheme of things but I did feel a small sense of what other mothers feel all too often as they struggle to provide for their families; physically and spiritually. I allowed myself to be humbly scolded for all too often taking so much for granted and I pray I will never ever forget the bounty I’ve been given; again, you are part of this gift. I have been given so much; much is expected.

The end of the story for us is not tied all up in a simple answer but I can tell you this; each day I felt a clearer sign that he was getting stronger and he was also learning to latch better each day and so I’m still continuing my efforts to build up my milk, to encourage him to nurse and as of this past weekend, he is not only breastfeeding without any supplementing or bottles but he is off the shield as well. Also, to my surprise, my friend told me he was severely tongue tied so I took him in for a procedure to rectify this. I assumed all of the professionals were taking this in to consideration so when some of you asked me if he was tongue tied I replied ‘no’, assuming I would have been told! I have come to learn that much of the medical fields believes that a child with this slight anomaly will not be adversely effected therefore they do nothing. I have learned that there is great discrepancy in the findings therefore I risked the minor procedure with the hope that the nursing would improve and we’d lessen any disadvantage to his speech in later years. In short, the risk of the procedure way outweighed the potential benefits so we did it; my GP was in complete agreement.

Except for a few doctors appointments, a daily walk with my children and a few short visits to my computer, I did not leave my room for a month; his baptism was our first ‘outing’. I know most of you don’t believe this but it’s true – I have witnesses! J. I’ve told my kids I want a handmade sign for my room entitled ‘Mother’s Monastery’ for this is what our master bedroom has endearingly become for us. I pray, as I’m given greater reign to resume ‘normal’ daily responsibilities, that I’m able to maintain the many benefit I obtained from this ‘quarantine’ time with my baby. With the little bit that I’ve experimented ‘getting out’ (of my bedroom or out of my house), I can see I’ll have to be careful. A ten minute task can so very quickly end up being a 45 minutes deterrent from tending to my son; I’m just learning to accept this and plan to limit activities for several months if need be.

The fruits of my being tied to my room, pumping and nursing, in my case, have been bountiful for my family. This may not be the case for you in the past or for some of you in the future; you may only be able to commit to this type of regime for a day or a week, but that’s not the point. The point is, we prayed as a family about what we felt God was asking us to sacrifice for this baby, for this time period and He provided the means for us to move forward; often it include you.

Those of you who don’t get a returned phone call or a reply to an email may not think so J but for now, I’m focusing on building up my strength, Joseph’s weight and nursing abilities and thanking God for my family and for your friendship and amazing wealth of support to help me grow spiritually and as a mother. I realize I am one of the oldest mom’s having a baby, don’t let that discourage you and please don’t focus on this set back, instead hone in on the help that came flooding my way when I simply shared my plight. Let my set back and need for help inspire you to imagine how much more humility there is to gain and thank God I’m going ahead of you and can share what I have learned to influence you in a better way seeing recognizing that we’re all reaching for the same goal; discerning God’s will for each of us and helping each other, especially our spouse and children, to get ot heaven.

Wisdom; what a gift. If there is one word that I’d use to summarize the intent of our support network, it would be ‘wisdom’ - sharing it, gleaning it or humbling reaching for it. The family of generations ago is fragmented so, for most of us, the guidance in both faith and family stems from reaching out to families like all of ours; we need each other to help each other build our ‘mothering monasteries’, strong marriages and faith filled families.

In closing, I can’t help but focus on a ‘friend’ who is not as lucky as me. Ironically, (but it should not be such a surprise!) as my challenges started to lessen, I learned that a friend was struggling to ‘mother’ in various ways including breastfeeding. Having her first child over the age of 40 and newly married, in time we came to realize the baby was not gaining weight but she also was struggling with other mothering issues indeed there needed to become kind of intervention. Dear mothers in our community saw the need, dropped what they were doing and came to her aid. In some ways it was too late but in most ways it was just in time. Until, by the grace of God someone discovered their great need, she did NOT have the support group I did and somehow she fell through the cracks. I was able to share with her what I learned (From all of you) to offer some sense of guidance in a short period of time (it took me hours upon hours of phone consultant and research to determine what was the best action to take for my situation), I was able to share my milk, (which was the perfect age for her baby) and of course to consciously pray and to sacrifice for her - for now there is little more I can do.

I’m sorry to say her baby was taken by CPS. In the name of protecting the child this ‘organization’ has abused this child and family beyond understanding. Being a mother of a large family, Catholic and homeschooling I’ve been privy to other such cases and I’d be stupid not to admit our family is, sadly and unfairly, at risk. It’s heartbreaking and unthinkable the power others can have over the vulnerable and innocent. This family does need support, guidance and help and the baby above all was indeed in need of help but they need to be together. This family needs wise and experienced mothers like me and like you to guide her as so many of you were able to offer to me. Most of us are not called to this apostolate at this time but we can be aware of how invaluable our small acts of charity are when someone is in need, and, as with this case, let’s continue to check on one another, reach out to new mom’s, albeit their first baby or their twelfth and most of all pray in thanksgiving that we do have a support group therefore we have little to fear of lacking support in any way we need; just ask.
With love
robin

RIP Gina Strolberg, among other things

2009-11-12T08:03:00.000-08:00

Those cabinets are beautiful. Perfect. Amazing. Too nice to be in my house. But there is not a sink to be found, and so I shall abandon ship again and visit Rikki and the Children's Museum. So pretty, but I can't wait til Friday night when I can have my house back. Can't. Wait. Not a lot of homeschooling going on, either, but we'll just deal with that. I am sure the kids don't mind.

I was going to go visit my friend Margy, but one of her kids has the chicken pox, and I'm not sure if two of my kids are vaccinated yet, and chicken pox and childbirth just doesn't sound good. I can't nurse a child very well when I just had a baby.

We hear my MIL is in the hospital, but we don't know how serious it is. We'll try to get in touch today. They did not call us directly, so we don't really know anything yet.

My mom emailed me to tell me two things: be ready in case the baby comes too fast, since that almost happened to my mom with her second. She was five minutes away from a side of the road birth. That same day she'd seen the doctor, and he said it wasn't even close! However, she did have toxemia, and I don't, so I think I'm ok. But I will put some garbage bags in both cars anyway, and some newspaper this weekend. I wonder how my dad would have handled that? Of course, he had midwifed cows, sheep and goats, so maybe he would have done ok. I dunno. I don't think he likes it when people are bleeding, unless it's him, and then he hardly notices.

The other thing was that my friend Gina Strolberg passed away. When I was 13, she gave me riding lessons (English) in exchange for me feeding her horse before I went to school. She was good teacher and had a pretty together life at the time. She was probably my age at the time. Early 30's. She was a very nervous, somewhat paranoid person, but she loved animals. She was a good rider. Eventually, her earlier demon, addiction, came back to haunt her, and after a divorce, she went downhill very, very fast. I saw her only a couple of times after that. She never had any children, which was probably a very good thing. She did have a very positive impact on me, as I did well in 4-H shows and went to state because of her lessons. Her horse came to stay with my folks a few years ago. My mom found out she'd passed October 28th because her brother and sister came from Chicago to take care of things and see the horse, Flash. My kids get to ride Flash whenever we visit. I guess they spread her ashes on our property! Isn't that crazy? So now when I go for a walk on the trail my mom directed them to, I'll always think of Gina. I hope God had lots of mercy saved up and gave her some serious rest. She really, really needed it. I expect she was in her early 50's, if that. And to those who think we should just legalize drugs and be done with it, phooey on them.

I love you, Gina, and I'd give you a hug again if I could.

Dang, I'm tired.

2009-11-10T21:09:00.000-08:00

I decided to write the first words I thought of. Sorry! :)

I have less than two weeks til my due date. The baby ticker is a few days off. November 22 is supposedly the day. That would be great if it was that day.

Tomorrow, nice people are going to come rip apart my kitchen and put a new one in. It will take three days, actually. The floor will be left alone, sadly, but I did not feel like playing with linoleum just now. I figured let them beat it to death one last time before I get a nice floor in there. New cabinets are going where none are now, which is very exciting. Can we say STORAGE? If you didn't know, this house is 967 sq ft. Storage is everything.

I've thought about getting a new house. The prices are ridiculously tempting. Seriously. But I want to be sure that we weather this recession as well as we are doing right now, and the last thing I need is a huge mortgage right when he loses his job or we have health problems or any number of things we can handle quite nicely if we stay put. There are definitely worse places to live. We have good neighbors, an almost safe neighborhood (never mind the knife murder in the woods and the bikini baristas on national news this fall...) and we live very close to many friends and our favorite family member. There's a lot to be said!

So... whenever we move, I always hate packing one place: the kitchen. It's awful. So what am I packing? The kitchen! And guess who ran out of boxes tonight??
Oh, and the bathroom. They are putting in a new vanity with some of the leftover granite. Oops. Better put all that stuff in the tub, I guess.

This will be worth it, I swear it will. I really hope my husband brings back boxes from work. Pleeeeze???

Good night, all. I will be slightly homeless for three days, but I will have my loverly laptop with me, and maybe I'll even make up for lost time blogging.

Eye candy and future plans for blogging

2009-11-05T15:58:00.000-08:00

I know, you were just waiting for that. I'm sorry for not blogging, and there is ever so much I could blog about, too. I just really need to get on it, but there are ever so many things to do outside the blogosphere, too.

In any case, I was the Great Pumpkin and handed out Pinewood Derby cars at our cub scout pack meeting. This is how big my tummy really is. Now I have 2.5 weeks to go. Yay me!

I do have many things to write about, like:

Tunnel vision, or how you can end up only keeping people around who agree with you.
That book called Last Child In The Woods and how many times I've been nodding my head.
How we are going to try basketball this year right after soccer while having a baby.
The baby, of course.
Homeschooling
Discipline of the difficult child (every family gets at least one)
How thankful I am for our friends and current circumstances (a good thanksgiving post!)

Gotta take Gabe to his second to last soccer practice... ta ta!

Anglicans coming "Home"

2009-10-27T15:21:00.000-07:00

I am quite excited by news that the current Pope has extended a hand to disgruntled Anglicans who wish to joing the Catholic Church without giving up everything they loved about their own faith. It will be somewhat like when the USSR collapsed, and we found out what our kind of faith our separated brothers and sisters had still in place, since Vatican II had basically happened without them. It's not the same, but the Catholic Church did not tell those people not to be Catholic anymore, it just accepted them under slightly different rules. It's kind of like how the Tridentine and Byzantine Rites exist under Vatican authority.

This article was very interesting. I am excited to see what will happen next. http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/new.php?n=17493

A very interesting climate change post with lots attached

2009-10-27T07:49:00.000-07:00

This was on the Common Room, and it also lists such a long list of links at the bottom that I felt a need to put it here. There are so many things to post on lately, and yet I need to eat, sleep, gestate, and facebook is way easier to use than blogger, therefore more tempting.

Here is a very interesting article, which reaffirms my main point: politics and science do not mix.

Polar Bear Populations Have Increased

Like so many other controversies, we live in an age where we do not know what to believe about ANYTHING. That drives me up the wall. But I do like to point out things that appear to be common sense, especially when the political powers appear to have several things to gain from scaring people.

Enjoy!

Swine flu conversations

2009-10-22T06:51:00.001-07:00

Where do I even start? Sheesh. Well, I'll post where most of my info is coming from, and I guess that'll do ya.

The news went crazy on Swine Flu about a year ago. It never did go away all year, worldwide, but then again, it hasn't really killed that many people. The odd thing is, it's only killing young, mostly healthy people, though at first it seemed it was those with underlying conditions, like asthma, heart disease, or cancer. It seemed very overblown to me, and to a certain extent, it still does. Lots of people die from regular flu every year, and while flu shots are encouraged, they are by no means mandatory.

Now, I'm told by my OB that he has changed his mind, and I really should probably have the vaccine, since his 20 year old family friend's son just died of it, and there was nothing but nothing else wrong with him. Up til then, he was pretty skeptical. My regular doctor was skeptical too, til now. And a doctor friend of mine one year younger than I am is a bit freaked out when she sees healthy people in the ICU or worse.

It is a bad flu season. But now I'm told they aren't even testing for H1N1, which means that there's a pretty good chance that either the government will ignore the whole thing and hope everyone else does, too, or else they will say that every case of flu was swine flu, but they can't give real numbers, so ho hum. All of which gives no one ANY credibility if there ever really is a threat, and I'm not sure this time is it. But I totally trust my government. Can't you tell?

Now that I was convinced to take the shot, of course, it's not available, even though I'm first in line as a pregnant person. The doctors must be going nuts. "I convinced all these skeptics and now you tell me there isn't any vaccine?!?" Yeah, this is going well. Sure am glad my kids don't go to school this year. I'm sure we'd have it by now if they did.

Here is an article from ABC news. It states that perhaps H1N1 is not nearly so widespread as was reported. Notice this was not front page news. No, no, tabloid news makes the headlines every day, not this important stuff.

Here is the Wired Magazine article out this month which brings up the case for vaccination to keep the "herd" healthy, which, if you are a cancer patient or otherwise immunosuppressed, you will very likely agree with. If you do choose to forgo vaccines, I do know why. There are many facts and rumors circulating, and some of them are true. I don't blame anyone for just skipping it altogether, quite honestly. But that's not my personal choice, though I did skip about 18 mos. after a bad reaction in my oldest.

Here is a book I'm reading on the history of both vaccines and the arguments that continue to surround them:

I like the book because so far it hasn't been judgemental. My favorite part so far is about the very early "variolation" done on Americans by Cotton Mather. The funny thing is, it was the "crazy" religious people around Boston who supported his work, and the doctors and scientists who wanted to practically lynch him. But his work, despite his complete lack of understanding but innate curiosity, is what led to the complete extinction of smallpox. So interesting.

There. That should keep you busy! Now, stay healthy!

Finding good mentors as wives and mothers, but mostly as women

2009-10-14T13:53:00.000-07:00

I'm sending this along to y'all from The Common Room, which remains, several years after our introduction, my all time favorite blog. I like this post, because it introduces us to a bit of humility and perhaps lets us realize we are shooting ourselves in the foot when we think someone else's advice doesn't apply to our situations.

Seriously, how many times have you thought, "That wouldn't work here, not in my house," without even really seriously considering it? And how many of those women who try to give you advice are trying to give it to you because they can see where you are? Because they've really and truly been there? It's hard to imagine, because you probably weren't standing there with them, watching them go through it, especially if they are older than you. Everyone thinks their situation is different, and yes, it is. But sometimes it's not nearly as different as you thought. Obviously you can't go around following everyone's advice. You have to do what is right for you and your family. BUT... if there is a recurring theme in the advice you are hearing, perhaps, just perhaps, it really does apply to you, and giving it a try couldn't really hurt.

Not that I was ever a knothead. Nope.

http://heartkeepercommonroom.blogspot.com/2009/10/composite-titus-2-woman.html

Fr. Corapi on corruption in the Catholic Church

2009-10-07T21:41:00.000-07:00

I love Fr. Corapi. He is so aware of what's going on. Thanks, Jeff, for posting this on Facebook.

Baby doing fine

2009-10-07T18:32:00.000-07:00

I really had a need to blog today. I have been having an overload of thoughts in my head on all kinds of subjects, and they all need to get out! Seriously!

But since I'm on my way to Rosary as soon as my muffins are done and the Daddy is woken up, I will at least write an update.

Sunday night sort of scared us because I saw some blood. However, it appears it's somewhat external. But I didn't know that on Sunday. I think it's a vessel that's feeling too much pressure.

Because of the scare, I called my OB on Monday morning, and he said to go get another ultrasound. Despite my fears, I was delighted, because I really, really wanted to know if that was really a girl in there, and I still wasn't real sure. IT IS A GIRL! Woo hoo!!

They did everything, of course. I hate internal ultrasounds. I hate internal exams. I hate them, hate them, hate them. But the end result was some other good news: the baby is facing the correct direction. In fact, it appears she isn't even going to cause back labor. DH is right, girls agree with me more, boys like to torture me. Now, remember, I only have two of each, and one adoption, so I only have so much to go on. Some people notice a difference, some don't. Also, the placenta is fine, so that is excellent, too. I was wondering if I went off the progesterone too soon.

I did go to my regular OB after the ultrasound, and he was delighted to see the baby had turned. Hooray! I got a great ultrasound of her face, too. I can't wait to meet her. I wonder if she'll have tons of hair like Grace? Or mongolian spots? Each of them has had different shades of skin and hair, and I just can't wait to see. Healthy is a great goal, too, of course.

With just under seven weeks to go, I have some recurring thoughts. One is that I remember having a miscarriage four years ago. It was awful. Darned traumatic anniversaries. I always have to wonder, "why am I cranky and can't sleep?" and then I realize what month/week it is. My head has forgotten, but my subconscious definitely has not. February is worse. Thank goodness those are the only two.

I also am worried about labor. Lack of back labor is better, but I still may go for the epidural, just because I never have and think I've been through enough pain the last few times that maybe I've earned a break. Weird thinking, but well, my labors are long and hard, and I have NOT forgotten. And I just want to see for myself. First hospital birth for me, so this will be quite bloggable.

Breastfeeding. Did you know that it takes two weeks to get into the groove? Every darned time? I have horrible pain as I get going. But I know it will end. Still, it really is some awful pain, right when I'm most tired and cranky and emotional. At least I've done it before. I have had the weirdest sensation lately that I'm supposed to be breastfeeding someone. When the baby is born, it will have been 11 months since the last one stopped breastfeeding. Funny to think about. When my friends' babies cry, or one is inconsolable in the store, I feel a serious need to help that baby out. I don't remember that happening before. I must be getting more maternal.

That's enough updating for now. Off to pray for the world, and the world can't wait! Ha ha ha!

A funeral

2009-09-30T06:02:00.000-07:00

This week I was invited to a funeral. I did not know the young man who died, nor his young wife, but I did know the wife's sister, and since she was coming from across the country, she invited friends who were nearby, including three of her old friends from college. Two of us lived a scant five minutes from the church where the funeral was held, the other, about three hours away.

It was a very tragic death. The couple had been married three years and had just graduated law school. They were running a marathon. About a month ago, it became apparent that he had a bee sting allergy, but this was the first anyone knew about it, from what I have heard. Then he was stung. He ran another five minutes, then collapsed. His wife was there. Nothing could be done. He was flown to the hospital and died a couple of days later, but he never woke up. I had facebook updates through a friend, and also, the wife's uncle is the priest here in my town, so another friend was telling me what the uncle had heard, and so my news was coming from two vastly different sources at once. It was the saddest thing, since he was just starting out, really. My friend who was his sister in law sang at the wedding with her husband. How she did it with a clear and beautiful voice, I just don't even know. But I sure did pray that she could, and maybe a lot of us were doing the same thing. It was a beautiful homily as well. I just can't imagine what it was like for any of the family members there.

I guess the most important thing I took away from it, like any funeral, is that I really should be more grateful for what I have, especially my husband. He works hard, loves his family, has no interest in doing anything to destroy that balance, and takes a fair amount of guff from me with almost no complaint. Why am I so lucky? God has blessed us beyond measure.

I have thought about that a lot lately. I think I'm in a lull in my life. The first 8 years of marriage were hard. No money, no time to relax, crazy times. We loved each other, but boy were we stressed. The first year was the worst. And then we turned a corner, and now things are much more relaxed. Much. But I can see around the corner.

Around the corner lies kids growing up, going to college maybe. Parents getting older and becoming frail, or dying. Sisters needing assistance, but it looks like the brother will be ok. Yay! When will the trouble start again? I don't know. Could be tomorrow. Could be next year. I might even have ten years of calm, but I wouldn't count on it. My dad is 68, and the rest of the parents have entered their 60's somewhere after him. We have long lived grandparents in most cases, up to 95 in my grandfather's case, but as early as the early 60's in others. Maybe earlier.

I know worry could enter the picture here, but for me, it won't til the crisis comes. I read somewhere that a saint or someone said, "Why are we spending so much effort on this terminal condition called 'life'?" In other words, why are we spending so much money and worry and work on staying alive, when it is our souls that are eternal? I guess because one is obvious, and the other less so, while we are on earth.

But then I think of Heaven, and I look forward to it tremendously. I can then spend all the time I want doing good and right things, basking in glory with my friends and family who have arrived there with me. I think of friends who are separated from me by distance, and I think of spending eternity with them and how lovely that would be. I hope God will find myself and many others worthy. I'm counting on His mercy.

Please pray for the Jibben and Smith families. When the two got married, they combined their last name to Jibbensmith. So please especially pray for Greta Jibbensmith, who is alone among family and in mourning. I cannot understand her pain, but I know one day I may, and I hope God's comfort embraces her and all his family.

THE dream house. I mean it.

2009-09-27T12:46:00.000-07:00

Ok, this one will do. Can I haz house?

You can look up the MLS # for more pictures. It's perfect. I mean it. The back yard has somewhere for me to garden already. And fruit trees. :) The price is so low, though, I doubt it will be there when I'm ready. Dratz.

This kind of thing wasn't even on the horizon two years ago. I mean completely impossible. And now look. Wow.

http://www.windermere.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=Listing.PropertyFlyer&ListingID=66416500

Dr. Ray Guarendi is a genius!

2009-09-26T20:07:00.000-07:00

Ha ha... I did not get to hear him speak today locally, but my friend Rikki did, while I babysat her kids. In return, I got a mocha and my book signed by Dr. Ray, as well as another book by him, also signed.

Here is his main website:
http://www.drray.com/index.htm

Here are the books I got!

This dude really knows his stuff. I sometimes disagree with him, but generally he's much more right on that most psych types. Much more sensible, and has walked the walk, which helps, especially when it comes to adoption. They have adopted ten kids. What I loved was the part where he said they didn't really intend to keep adopting that many. "How can you accidentally adopt?" you ask? Oh, it can happen. I know a lady who says she adopted on of her kids through Fabricland in my hometown. It was just one of those conversations, and one thing led to another. I love it!

If you need something fresh and exciting in your parenting adventure, you have indeed come to the right guy. For most things.

13th Day movie (Fatima)

2009-09-24T07:47:00.000-07:00

Omigoodness, I have to see this!!

http://www.ignatius.com/the-13th-day/

Social Security uh ohs

2009-09-24T07:26:00.000-07:00

Quite a long time ago (say, during Clinton maybe), my parents were pretty sure anyone my age should not bet on social security. I figured it was another rant, but I also figured it was worth paying attention to over time. I am not relying on it, but I also don't have many back up plans for when I get old, since we haven't saved much yet. We have life insurance and a will, so that makes me pretty happy since we're only in our mid to early 30s. We're only about 11K away from being debt free outside our mortgage, and we hope to keep it so that we will pay it off before we retire. Who's this we, anyway? I'm home all day! But I sure don't feel retired! I pull my own weight around here, man!
In any case, this was posted on the Common Room and I figured some real numbers from the CBO (which might be the only office left with real numbers), might be enlightening.

CBO numbers on social security

Here is a very short version of where we even got social security in the first place. It's a neat idea, if the government weren't involved. Sorry, but I have yet to see the government NOT screw up a good idea. Neighbors and churches taking care of each other seemed overall to work better in the "good old days".

How Stuff Works on Social Security

A most inspiring foster care story

2009-09-20T08:53:00.001-07:00

Ok, I think I fixed it, please look again!

Omigoodness, what a tear jerker. I have so much hope for the foster kids I know, and those who have been adopted since they were foster kids. I hope some will make these choices. I know someone who already did, and you know who you are, so get out the kleenex, honey.

Sacia's Promise

Hiliarious homeschool/socialization material

2009-09-17T22:29:00.000-07:00

I figured I had to post this. I should be in bed, but I'm not.

Silly me.

If you don't think this is true, then you need to meet more homeschoolers. I assure you from personal experience with a variety of homeschooling groups, these things are generally true. So trust us. Really.

http://thepioneerwoman.com/homeschooling/2009/09/the-oldest-one-in-the-book/

And they're off!

2009-09-16T17:30:00.000-07:00

Homeschooling, that is.

It's going really well so far. Teaching Brandon is like pulling teeth, but he does not win, so each fight is shorter. Sing, Spell, Read and Write is going very, very well. Math U See is going well, probably better than anything else would. He just is annoyed I won't let him progress. But if he can't explain it to me, then he doesn't understand it. Sometimes I wonder if that's because of his speech oddities, like there's a short circuit somewhere in the expressive language department. But we'll keep practicing, and he's making progress.

Today we did science together with another family, but I didn't get to take pictures. I kept getting distracted. We did an experiment with Bernoulli's Principle, which, strangely enough was covered both in our Webelos scout book and in the science book, which means two whole families killed two birds with one stone today! Hooray! It was great to have the kids try out their hypothesis and then squirt each other in the eye with straws when it turned out they were incorrect! :)

Grace and Brandon are working together on math and reading, and it seems to work out ok. Dominic really wants to be a big boy, so he keeps trying to do it all. This makes some things hard. Then again, he knows ALL his letters. He turned 2 in late May. Some friends got him a Leapfrog ABC toy that says the letters and sounds, and he plays with it all the time. Hooray! Smart kid.

Gabe is doing fifth grade Mother of Divine Grace this year, except that we do Singapore Math and Apologia Science so far. The history part is FASCINATING. I love it. I am learning lots myself! To think there are things about American History that are covered in little kid books that so many Americans don't know. I wish they cared to know. It's sooooo interesting and important in order to understand current events. Seriously. I'm so glad we get to learn it together.

Here are some pictures to prove we are actually working. Thought you'd enjoy! Please pardon the missing Brandon. I'll have to take a pic of him tomorrow instead. He was delighted with these phonics workbooks. He loves to color!

Good Ol' September

2009-09-11T14:34:00.000-07:00

Well, September has hit, but it's going better than I thought it would. It is crazy, don't get me wrong. We have soccer and scouts, and sometimes that means that my poor, long-suffering husband goes to work at 5am and when he gets back at 4, has a break and then runs out the door to pick up soccer eldest child and take him to a scout meeting late because well, we can't quite bi-locate. But that's only til the end of soccer, and only twice or three times a month. However, the oldest child will have soccer games right up til a week before my due date. So if I get an early baby this time, well, won't that be exciting? :)

I've started grading for MODG again, and it's going quite well so far. I've graded the papers sent me so far, so that's also good. I'm not behind yet! The families seem nice. I even got one back from a previous year. I'm grading 10th grade ancient history and lit, and one 10th grade religion. I have 15 students. Some are very cool. I am especially excited to hear from one who will be attending the canonization of Fr. Damien from Hawaii, which will take place in October.

My brain has been very full lately. That's why I like lists so much. Politics still take up a lot of my brain, but I post here less because Facebook is so much easier. Besides, a lot of my Facebook friends are people who don't necessarily see things my way, and that leads to some really cool discussions online, and some mind-growing on both sides. I really see that as valuable time, because the news on tv makes things seem like something different than they are. I like to find out how people think, and why they think that way, rather than just saying "they're just stoopid" because we differ. Even if it's a non-negotiable to me, like abortion, I'd still rather have the discussion than be dismissive. Too many people are dismissive of myself and my ilk, and how am I to be judged then, if I won't listen to them, either? Two wrongs don't make a right. More discussion is always better.

So, I could go on and on, but I won't. I'm annoyed with the total relativism which is now called "telling the truth" on so many levels, it makes me want to cry. So my only commentary is "always read the fine print" and "trust no one without reading it yourself".

Too bad so much of it is pages and pages long.

Actually, you know what? I think politics and professional sports are almost the same thing now. Incredibly overpaid, disconnected from the "commoners", and not "real" in a real life sense. Both are made up worlds which have almost nothing to do with me or anyone I know! Isn't it weird how far it's gone?

The baby seems to be doing well inside. My husband reminded me that my pregnancy with Grace was WAY better than with either boy, and that is very true. So I guess it might really be a girl, because I'm really doing quite well. I have another OB appt. on Monday, so that's exciting.

Yesterday was Brandon's birthday. He was excited for a month in advance, which makes me realize where child abuse comes from. Sorry, that's probably too honest, but AAGHHH... when he anticipates something, every single habit I thought we'd broken comes back times 10. Yesterday we had two things for his birthday that made it better, neither of which I planned: his first Tiger den meeting, and also free (did I say free?) tickets to the Barnum and Bailey Circus. We were up til 10:30 pm and the night before was Rosary, so they are pretty tired kids today. Gabe took a nap, and he is nine. But Brandon and Grace didn't. Darn.

Now that his birthday has happened, and he's opened his presents, he is a new, much nicer kid. He homeschooled nicely this morning, and I'm encouraged by his interest level for reading and math. I'm not sure how much to rave about the programs yet, it being only week 2, but I'm very excited anyway.

Tomorrow is a birthday picnic party, and Brandon will be having fun at the park and his sister and her mom will come. I'm glad they always make it to our party, and it's so good to see them together. Also coming: Mariah!! Mariah was returned to her birthmom about three weeks ago, and we miss her, as does the family who cared for her for 2.5 years. We're excited that they still have enough contact to have her over for our party! We're also excited that her half brother is now free for adoption as of this week, and we can't wait for an adoption party!! So much news lately.

Oh, and thanks to the NikePlus iPod thingy and my husband's dedication after some bad cholesterol numbers last winter, we can proudly say that diet and especially exercise MATTER. His mom and dad both have heart problems, but while his dad gets exercise, his mom really doesn't. You simply have GOT to make lifestyle changes and stick to them, and that's what my wonderful man did. I do know that some people cannot beat it no matter what, for some reason, but I do want to share our success in order to show how worth it it is.

In January 2009, we started going to the gym and really working on taking care of ourselves. And then, right after the St. Patrick's Day run, I found out I was pregnant. Oh well, put that off mostly for another year. I have been trying to get out and walk a lot, though. I need to get to that gym I've been paying for.

Here are the stats for my wonderful husband:
April 09 September 09 Normal Range

LDL 207 LDL 131 3-130 mg/dL
HDL 37 HDL 31 less than 40 mg/dL
Total cholesterol: 305 218 150-240 mg/dL
Tryglyceride: 306 279 30-200 mg/dL

all of these are bad. all good except tri

This is such good news. I'd rather he never got on those horrible medications, because of the side affects, and we both believe the less chemicals in one's body the better, from psych meds to birth control. Hey, at least we're consistent.

So that's all the news right now!

Oh, to live next to Rikki-san!

2009-09-06T18:53:00.000-07:00

Take a peek. No I cannot afford this. But I can dream. Too bad the pictures aren't clearer. It's right across the gulch, honey!! :)

http://www.johnlscott.com/propertydetail.aspx?GroupID=205476846&ListingID=300297948&Sort=0

yet another dream home

2009-08-31T21:36:00.000-07:00

Hey, it's been a while. Gotta post an incredible deal. This is my size of yard, plus good room sizes. The word "foundation" will probably scare most people away. I wish I could jump on it, because it's right where we'd want to live, truly. For a ridiculously good price, too. I'm not sure how good of "fixers" we are, though. I mean, bribing your friends with pizza and beer has got to get old at some point...

House in Silver Lake

More informal home advice from Robin

2009-08-31T07:46:00.000-07:00

Our friend Robin has been sending these lists out. Please pardon the grammar, it's all she can do to get it out there to other people, and a service I'm glad she's providing. It does provide a lot of food for thought. And it makes me really glad I have my boys in scouts.

Please keep in mind I am typing these as if I’d be speaking to you, short, brief, slang, to the point, no messin’ around…I’m tired, short of time but I do want to share what I have learned that might be of support to you.

Pray for me as I do for you, robin

11. Boys, boy’s boys: what do you do with your boys and how come very few families home school their older boys!

Robin Reply:

(I JUST sent mine into the mountains and told my husband to put them each atop a DIFFERENT hill and tell them, ‘good luck boys, come back men!!”)

Ok, I hear ya sister! There is nothing like boys; their kiss on the cheek, their bringing mom a flower at age 2, 12, or 22 is unforgettable, their smile, and now, as I have older ones, their ability to care for me and their sisters, the pride they exude when brining the fire wood and setting the fire, fixing the broken bike or lifting a heavy box for me; best yet, how my oldest son awaits in the car for me after the gym cuz mom is chatting; he leans over to open the door for me as a sign of his honor.

Ahhh, boys, I do treasure then and thank God for them as hard as it is cuz as much joy and passion as they stir in me that is good and noble, I often question if the irritation and frustration and SMELL far outweighs the joy that I may be showing! J

Boys are challenging and different and we, as woman, don’t have a natural sense to give them what they need; we need to work at it. It is our responsibility to work at it and it’s well worth our effort to work at it. I’m not saying to replace the father or male figure, but, just as we need to recognize we once were premenstrual therefore we need to forgive the hormone highs and lows of our daughters and NOT get caught in a cat fight for we are the ones who will look like a fool (what they are doing is NORAML, what we are doing is childish and dysfunction – I’ve been there), we also need to be able to step back and accept our boys for where they are at, in fact, to thank God they are moving through the prepubescent boyhood into man hood; allow it, praise it, honor it and often send ‘it’ far into the woods! J

I also believe not all boys are the same of course and I also find that boys, coming consecutively, vs. a girl thrown in there to balance out the hormone/testosterone influx, also makes for a very different dynamic. (i.e.: I have mostly boy, girl, boy girls, but the one time I had two boys in a row...WOW…VERY different dynamic! ) Then, depending on mom’s temperament, the size of the house and the makeup of the dad; all varying possibilities to the depth of dirt, intensity of the smell and regularity of the surprises a mom is going to find herself asked to endure! J

Two books I highly recommend are: A Parent’s Guide to preventing Homosexuality and Wild at Heart. They go hand in hand; the short message is, boys/men are different and woman/wives/mothers need to recognize this and honor this. we also need to provide the environment for them for their ability to live out /carry out what they need to become strong noble men; we need to inspire them and support them which means, as always, picking our battles. IT means making sure they have a good strong father figure and male figures to ‘hang with’ and to emulate. It means sacrificing to make sure they have their ‘time in the woods’, even if this time means taking over part of the house to play games, have a pizza party and learn to play poker and eat only chips and root beer – possible also ‘hot tamales’. IT also means when Dad decides to keep them out later or rough house with them past their bed time; relax mom, walk away, let them have their way and trust this is bonding that will encourage strength, courage, nobility and manhood. This is not to say a mother/wife cannot and should not discuss her preference and encourage sound decision by her husband other male figures, I’m just saying, if you read these two books, your attitude will change from one of irritation and resentment towards one’s husband for taking care of his masculine needs and for nurturing your son, to an attitude of gratitude for the support you are given for YOU can never replaces this male figure you can only do your best to understand it, support it and to invite noble male models into the lives of your sons.

I just counseled a mother of four boys; on her list of ‘irritations’ was how they take 3-5 pumps of soap and stay in the bathroom ‘trashing’ it for so long and peeing around the toilet. My example included; encourage the soap and the bubbles and the creative things they can do with those but for the sake of raising noble men to be loved by their wives or welcomed into a monetary; demand good toilet manners!!! Seat wiped, lid down and floor mopped up but have a 'hay day' with those bubbles and use all the soap you want; just leave the bathroom cleaner than you found it. What mom does not know won’t hurt; usually.

Aside: for all obviously reasons, (if they are not obvious, reply to me privately) we have an open door policy, room a few boys together at least at once and we keep the boys downstairs for schooling. Schooling takes most of the day hence, by the time schooling responsibilities are cared for there is little to no more time to be ‘alone’ in the room; some privacy is necessary but TOO much idle time and guaranteed privacy is leading growing boys into temptations; girls do not have this same risk.

To reply to the question of home school homes cool boys; NOW I GET IT! I see why so few actually home school their boys through high school! Those boys are becoming young men and it makes sense that a MAN is their mentor more often than a woman; I’d think this to be normal and healthy. So, yes, I have home school one son through high school and another son is graduating this spring (presumably...its only the start of the school year nowJ) But we live in a very inconvenient place to send them to running start or coops, or, I KNOW I would do it more or at least consider it son by son whereas I might not feel as much the need to make these sacrifices for the girls. Of course, any time we ‘set them free’ there are risks but in my opinion, if you focus on a strong foundation, and if setting them up with some outside support in the high school years is doable then this will allow them to utilize the tools you have provided. If, on the other hand, you are not able to provide that schooling support outside of the home, I recommend investing in sports, scouts, or other opportunities that your boys are able to bond with growing young men and to have other male mentors and above all encourage, inspire and support your husband’s time away from home with the boys!

12. Husband traveling waah, ‘woe is me’.

Again, I hear ya sista….but now I’m feeling very different that you probably are right now. Why? Well, long ago I realized that in my little family my husband’s main role is to provide the cash and to play with my kids, then as the boys get older to really invest time with them, to ‘date’ my girls and to fix an occasional leaky toilet, fell a tree or clean the gutters and in that order. Now, the later ‘house work’ part, because he bonded with the boys by teaching them how to do it, is mostly done by my boys. My husband travels to Europe when he does travel so at times he is gone 2-3 weeks sometimes doing this 4-5 times a year. Do to economic times this is slowing down but my point is, I’ve had some experience here. The main message I am sending is this, IF your husband’s job is calling him away, and you two feel this job is where God is calling him then it is imperative that you, or you support him and figure out what God is asking of you i.e.; get over it J, lessen expectations, hire help, simplify. We want to see the expectations of Dad diminished to just ‘being’ wit the family to relives the load from him. God will provide and we as moms/wives need to accept that IF God is asking our husbands to be gone that much then there must be other ways of doing things that we once thought was the ‘right’ way for we are blessed to home school, we are blessed to have support husbands and there are many creative ways to accomplish one’s responsibilities as mother, teacher and wife….having a pity party or resenting our husbands is NOT one of them. The time away for my husband can end up being a time that my kids actually speak to him one on one more than when he is home. We make sure we have set times to talk, he makes sure to speak to each one before bed, we all write to him via email and we await his arrival….all good things. Moreover, I do my very best (often not reaching my goals as completely as I wish but I do try) to welcome him home with joy and thanksgiving for his efforts – vs. my earlier years, a ‘woe is me’ type ‘you left me’ attitude. Traveling is NOT easy, it is tiring and they always pay for it before they leave and when they come home at the office; they don’t need us whining and complaining atop the other stress; as I have OFTEN done! Shame on me.

All that being said, consult other friends who have husband who travel; have a short pity party/ share your struggle and invite their words of support, ask your friends to inspire you, open your mind to ways to get support, ask for help, consider what help you need and, of course, if you try everything and your school, home and marriage are suffering, it is only right to take this challenge to Adoration, to spiritual direction together and to consider alternative jobs for him.

33. As I'm getting organized for school to begin, I'm trying to figure out what to do with all of last year’s school stuff. What of your children's work do you keep each year? I don't want to be a pack-rat, but I also don't want to throw something away and regret it later. Are there things your children enjoy looking back on or that you like to reference? Do you need to keep any work for "record keeping" purposes? Thank you!

Short reply by Robin Betz

Are you enrolled in MODG; if yes, then I’d recommend keeping very little. If NO< then, hmmmm, maybe we should solicit someone else but my instinct is still to keep very little!:) picture your children and your children’s children browsing through these ‘keep sakes’…..biology results, NOT, self made bible with illustrations YES! J

I keep all of their ‘stuff’ that seems really ‘dear’ and also that will keep easily i.e.: their blank books that they have illustrated their poetry, their science journals, their creative writing; you get the picture. But, boring math, NO WAY!

NEXT EMAIL:

13. Some kids in home schooling, some at conventional schooling:

I can’t say how much I empathize with those who have kids in both homeschooling and public or private schooling, at the same time; I understand the need to do this at times. We, too, did this for 2 years and it was a tremendous burden, but one that we felt God was calling us to turn into His cross and buckle down and do so heroically until other plans could be made. I did a wretched job of it; homeschooling was the last thing I did, homeschooling was so burdensome and my child who was homeschooling felt it. My lack of confidence and strength is doing less for the school and more for my school kids in order to bring the appropriate balance was great; I did my home school child a great disservice.

Diving ones’ energy between home and school is a great task. As you know, having kids in school means not only that ‘routine’ but all the many relationships and extra commitments and temptations. So, it is often necessary but it’s important to prepare in all ways for this and allow it to enhance your life, seeing it as the blessing that it is, allow it to strengthen your marriage and family, or, admit this is NOT where you are called. Learn from my mistakes! J

14. Prayer time in home:

You as a family may find prayers traditions that are workable and easy to obtain and these traditions may stay in place for…ever. Or, you may find that these commitments are just not doable any longer; accept this, alter this, seek councel and make a new plan that you see (and your spiritual directors sees) is set up for success.

Mom’s prayer life, apart from the family’s spiritual commitment should include:

- seeking objective direction and setting goals for the season from Spiritual Director and other wise mom’s

-Simple doable commitments – too big, you’re set up for failure

-. I aim for my daily prayer time to reach, one hour a day (including family rote prayers), one hour a week, one hour a month in Adoration and one day a year in retreat.

When there are signs that something is lacking, my defects are outpouring. With humility I pray now that God make clear to me early on when I am slipping. I must take the time to examine my spiritual life. At one point that I was struggling and I was clearly in need of spiritual strength, I took the time to examine my life; I realized I did not have an intimate relationship with Christ or with Mary. I wanted one. I needed one, so I sought one with expectant faith. I was doing a lot for God (or was I) but I was not close to him, I was not sure I was really doing what He wanted. I committed to building intimacy with Christ and with Mary in some way. In time I was rewarded. I knew I needed to be able to seek Christ during the day, pour my heart out to Mary AT the time of need not just at the start and close of the day and during ‘rote’ prayers with my family.

I needed to learn to rely on my spiritual strength when I needed it most; all day long and often during the night! This took my humility to admit my weakness, my effort to seek council and direction and the hope and faith that if I persevered I would be rewarded. In time, during my prayer time, I started to see Mary, in the Pieta. I saw her with her son atop her in her arms. I went to her, laying my woes in her lap. Someone later told me that Mary is depicted in the Pieta exponentially larger than Jesus, to show her ability to take on the weight of the world. Next came a scene of Mary and Joseph in their humble abode; I was sitting with them. I was able to just listen, to chat; the perfect scenario for conversation – me with coffee in hand and Mary with herbal tea! I was indeed given the opportunity for a close and intimate relationship with our Lady and with Jesus; the sweetest rewards

I still fall and lose sight of a rich prayer time, but, because I once had a fruitful prayer time, I can quickly resume this relationship with little effort. It simply takes me admitting I’m falling and choosing to make my prayer time a priority.

Lastly, I connect often with the vision of Divine Mercy and Mary; in both cases, their arms out stretched, their love and mercy outpouring. I am inspired to show this love and mercy to my husband, my children, extended family, to strangers and each person I am in contact with. If my personal prayer life is suffering, I must be very careful not to get distracted by outside opportunities. I must prioritize and choose to take the time to be with God and with Mary, I envision Jesus in the Divine Mercy, Our Lady in the Pieta, all reaching out to help and to guide me.

If ALL I do is pray and connect with God and Mary in the ways I explained, this is what I believe will be the best way for me to carry out Gods will for my family for my specific calling. In doing so, I feel a great spiritual presence and peace. I’m able to pray in a moment’s notice, at time of frustration and joy. I am now able to feel peace and joy amidst chaos! I’ve listed in my notes some examples of what is currently working for me. Find what works for you, stick with it until you, through self examination, or perhaps a good friends or husband’s honesty, points it out to you that the defects of an ineffective prayer life are coming across to those you love. Admit this, seek council, turn to God and anticipate with expectant faith an answer to your efforts to better serve him as mother as wife.

Family Spiritual:

With the other areas on life in order it’s much easier to discern what our priorities should be for our family.

Be a calm and dedicated example open to change in your family routine to make sure what you do emulates the virtue you wish to instill. One decade prayed with the ability to guide the toddler and maintain order is better than an entire rosary with tension and chaos. Keep in mind, the chaos may be perpetuated by mom! We invite the children to come be part of our prayer time, and we also excuse them to pray in their rooms until they can come and be reverent.

Take the time at your weekly and monthly prayer time to evaluate who to set your family up for success and to be consistently fed spiritually as a family. Be realistic so you are able to follow through. As I see it, dinner is time for mom to provide for her husband a pleasant experience and her children the opportunity to learn manners and dinner table conversation, similarly, family prayer time and Sunday mass is not necessarily time for mom to be fed in the same way as her own contemplative time. Make your personal prayer time a priority and then feed your children the gift of prayer during the day.

Keeping family prayer time a priority yet accepting where we are at, many years we have opted to pray Holy minutes at the top of each hour from 9-3pm, ending with the Divine Mercy and then we only pray one decade of the rosary at night. The demands of the school day and the rigor of chores and outside activities, nursing baby, chasing toddler, listening to teens, all important needs to be met, can diminish the opportunity for family prayer to almost nothing if we let it.

Choosing a child to set a timer and walk through the house announcing ‘holy minute’, everyone stopping to pray, can be a far more fruitful prayer time than making sure we all gather for family rosary. We’ll usually close our day then with one decade and private prayers while tucking in. In the summer, on the other hand, the days are longer, we stay up later, and stopping at the top of the hour is not practical!

The point is, we make it a priority; we set realistic goals and persevere to see them come into fruition, all the while, seeking objective council to determine if we need to make adjustments.

Included in my notes are examples of others ideas that have worked for us.

Foster the Faith in your Children:

Here is answer the questions posed to me about fostering the faith in my children. A strong faith life for my children is going to first come from a mother who emulates virtue. Attitude is everything. One’s frame of mind is everything. I can become overwhelmed by all the many devotions and liturgical celebrations I’m neglecting, or, recognize that if I can just manage the mundane tasks of this stage of my vocation right now, I’m way on my way to sanctity. Moreover, if I’m in the right frame of mind my responses to the needs of my family will ‘is this all He’s asking of me? Or, if I’m lacking strength, it’s ‘woe is me, why is he asking so much of me?”

One of the greatest piece of advice from a wise friend was this ‘pray for them one toilet paper roll at a time!” Her pet peeve was rolling and rerolling the toilet paper roll! This comment made a deep impression on me; whether it be picking up the toilet paper roll again, changing the diaper AGAIN, rotating the laundry AGAIN, picking up my husband’s clothes that lay on the floor NEXT to the dirty laundry hamper AGAIN, finding my chocolate nibbled on AGAIN, my latte cold AGAIN, the seemingly simple every day things that IF we are spiritually sound with our priorities in order, we can almost chuckle while counting our blessings as we move through and beyond that task yet AGAIN. But, if we are out of balance I can react as if I’m a victim, put upon living a life of drudgery, monotony, imprisonment. I admit I’ve felt this way!

These daily hassles are our opportunity to sacrifice, our road to sanctity, our cross to carry with Christ, NOT to become burdensome. I must pick up the cross God gave to me especially, He has promised to pave the way and give me the grace to carry a cross as He did. Or, I can fall into near despair and see these opportunities as burden if I don’t keep my priorities in order.

I’ve learned to pray out loud ‘Lord, thank you’ ‘Lord help me”! “Mary help me be like you!”’ ST Anthony, please help me find this thing, I want to bring God glory!” I pray this way for myself; to better remember and be influenced but also as an example to my children so they know prayer is what the core of my day is. They do not see me go to daily mass anymore, or even get to the chapel for a holy hour so I go out of my way to show them creative ways to still make God the center of my life; the core of my being, the foundation of my thinking and actions.

I still fall, I still am led into temptation to carry a bad attitude, but, I try to emulate with each sacrifice if this is how God wants for me to be refined; bring it on!

I was asked; how do you nurture prayer as a sacred and special time with your family?

My view is this: during family prayer time, as with meals, my job is not to be fed but to guide and set an example. This is why I carve out other time of the day to pray and to be contemplative. My older children learn to lead and focus while I get up, discipline, gently guiding, holding the child with an encouraging whisper, ‘look, see how Johnny is praying so reverently, I know you can do this too!”

Having regular battles in trying to get to daily mass for instance means one of two things, either you are not organizing well enough to get there, or, you are not called to go. If evening rosary is a battle zone; change the time of day. If I know my patience is low, we do what we call the ‘tunnel rosary’ upstairs. The girls and the boys rooms are separated by a hall way; the needs are in the ‘tunnel’ in between praying so both rooms can hear and I walk from room to room praying and rubbing backs; we’re set up for success.

If the dynamics of a large family with a lot of little ones overwhelm you, examine your attitude, this is the perfect opportunity for your older children to learn reverence and perseverance in prayer and in avoiding distraction. If your kids are exposed to a prayerful setting, in time, they’ll want to be like the others, to be part of the team. Reward the good, ignore the bad, and discipline the unspeakable!

15. Book cases:

A mom wanted some practical advice on books shelves; you know the routine reply ‘a homeschooler can never have enough book shelves!”. Well, taken with a grain of salt, that is SO true. But, lately, I’ve encountered some mom’s who have been blessed with an abundance of books, or ‘bookaholics’ perhaps! You know, looking at the book with through the eyes of ‘oh, this is a great book, its free, or its inexpensive, I’ll take it!” vs. ‘do I need this book any time in the near future? Do I already have 1-2 books on this subject?” In my opinion, less is better and orderliness with our school things is essential to a smooth running operation!

I change things up and around every so often when I need to but for the most part I have all of the essential school books for my children in one room; a library. I have other picture books in all the areas that will entice the children to pick them up and to read them or where they have their quiet time i.e.: a stack in the living room and a stack in each bedroom. I keep board books handy for the 6mo. – 2 year old until they are trained to respect the books. Having too many books is like having too many clothes for ones husband or boys; they wear whats on top each day anyhow so unless you rotate them you might as well just have TWO! J

As for the ‘series books’ those are ones that I will move to the room that is age appropriate i.e.: I want my 8 year old to eat up the hardy boys so I place them in his room. I want my daughter to ‘eat up’ the American girl’s books so I place them nicely near her bed. Atop this invitation both from me and visually, the books look nice and signify the character of my child at that time; I like that.

I have liturgical books in whatever area that I will be ‘hanging with my kids’ i.e.: right now they are upstairs in the girls room cuz our routine right now is for me to pray the final rosary prayers and to read to all of the kids from the rocking chair. But, after baby is born, I might move them downstairs near the couch where I will probably read to them after breakfast while I nurse the baby. One of my favorite things is to read and to learn about the liturgical year with my kids; something I put off for too long to get housework and ‘real’ school out of the way; a big mistake on my part!

As for our school books and library of literature; I have boxed up or tucked away yet labeled well the curriculum we are NOT using for the coming year. I do NOT keep very much that I do not KNOW for certain that we are not going to use. It feels better to me that someone else is using it and that I have that extra space. Cramming and piling books, like anything else, will encourage ‘cramming’ and piling to a greater degree and will NOT encourage the child to put the book back where it belongs.

We label each book with a sticker that includes the person who is using this year and the grade they are in. the front sticker will read, “Susie , 9th, 2009/10”. On the back of the book I have a sticker that does NOT change from year to year i.e.:

Lincoln A photo biography

Civil War

5th grade history

Week 27

“Us history and geography for 9th grade

Weeks 17-22

This label includes the title of the book, the time period it is used for, and the grades I will be using it for.

So, someone asks me if they can borrow a book, instead of having to look up my ‘plan’ I can look on the back of the book and let them know yes, or no. If I find the book lying around I know where it goes and who to charge for leaving it out. …you can see the benefit of setting this up this way. I aim to put these labels on each time I make an order and the books arrive. The success of this plan has inspired me to keep up on this.

Homeschooling, ready or not...

2009-08-31T07:27:00.001-07:00

Hello!

Today is a Monday. In two days, we will try two days of homeschooling. I'd start tomorrow, but there's a fair to be had. I do it Friday, but there are grandparents to visit. Today is my husband's weekend, so we'll avoid weekends anyway, and I plan to use a basic four day week with a couple of subjects on the fifth. In fact, a very cool person I know thought we could do science together this year, and then another cool person apparently has a whole box of experiment supplies, and then there's this fourth person who loves doing science with kids even if hers aren't very old. So it looks like Wed mornings will work for that, and that means that we will spend that day as our "fifth day" so we can do science and not mess everything else up. Gabe, doing fifth grade this year, will have to read history and do math and practice piano that day as well.

I'm very excited about this year, but also wondering if I'm crazy. I will try homeschooling a fifth grader, a first grader, and a kindergartner. I am supplementing with Mr. 1st grader so much, the syllabus doesn't matter much. Here are the programs we're going to use to supplement with him:

Sing, Spell, Read, Write (1998 ed.)

and:

Math U See Alpha level

The science we're using is this: Apologia Science

It is part of a series, and pretty in depth. It is also creationist, which is very interesting for me to tackle. I'm really on the fence on that particular argument, and it's worth a post of its own. Really. But suffice it to say, it appears easier to supplement creationism than to teach Darwinism and keep saying "but it's not completely proven" all the time. Like I said, it's worth at least one post of it's own. But if you want to start on it yourself, this is the book I'm reading right now:

The Politically Incorrect Guide To Science

Have a great year, homeschooler or not!

What to write at 5am

2009-08-28T05:10:00.000-07:00

My dear daughter got up at 3:30 am to tell me how someone was killing her with tweezers. I think this may have something to do with having put a rivet up her nose recently, and having had to go to the ER to get it out after Mom and Dad tried with tweezers but were worried they were doing more harm than good. Turns out, if you push their little noses into piggy position, you can reach up there and the scrunching up keeps them from moving their nose while you work. Took all of 30 seconds for the doctor to get it. Sigh. So she had a nightmare, perhaps several, and then around 4:45 I thought I'd go downstairs and just say hi to my husband before he leaves for work around 5am, which I never do. I just stay in bed. But even a whole Rosary did not put me back to sleep this time. I'll just be glad I went to sleep around 9:30. That means I did get six hours of sleep, which is just on the border of ok. My husband says during naptime I must go to bed today. Hm.. that would be if anyone in this house is interested in napping instead of a singing and dancing routine up there this time. Maybe a long movie this afternoon is in order. Say, the Incredibles.

Yesterday, I did too much. But it was fun. I went blackberry picking on the bike trail near my house with two friends, immediately followed by our homeschooler beach day, the last one. Then two hours at home and out the door for soccer. Brandon was plumb tired by 9pm. I should back up and say he just spent the night this week with his big sister by birth, Nicole, whom he adores. He is almost 7, she is 14. She is doing fantastic. We try to get together, but it doesn't happen as much as we'd like, her being a very busy teen with working parents, and us, well, not. But they had a great, great time, and he was sure tired. And I'm happy to report he actually did want to come home. I was kind of wondering if he'd pull his usual "I want to live with someone else", but somehow this time I think he was happy to see his bed. Maybe he knows where he belongs. I also found out, upon going to dinner, that his sister does not have as many birth family pics as we do. I find this out five years later? Well. I do believe I have a fair amount of scanning and prints to order before we see them at Brandon's birthday in a couple of weeks. She was glad to hear I even have a picture of her at birth, and how that ended up in Brandon's baby book, I have no idea. I'm glad it was mentioned!

So, planning. I need to make lists. Lots of lists. I think I will start with the one I hoped my husband would make, but he did the dishes instead, and who's going to complain about that? I need to make a list of what we expect to pay for that is outside the budget until the end of the year. This Dave Ramsey stuff really makes you want to think ahead. Shockingly adult of me, I know!

September (jeesh, coming right up)
Go to local fair
trip to Astoria for three days -- mostly gas
Brandon's birthday -- presents, cake, maybe a family outing
date nights if we go out
Buy chains for both cars, just in case

October
Go to see parents and also my friend and her maybe fiance. Must see boy. Very important.
Three birthdays in one week -- mine, Grace's and my father in law's
Halloween
snacks for soccer
buy popcorn off our own scouts (seems to happen every year)
(Put MODG check in savings, or use for Christmas? Hmmm....)

November
End of soccer parties and coach gifts
Thanksgiving
Baby (but no medical bills we know of, hooray!)

December
Christmas!

Two posts in honor of the beginning of the homeschooling year

2009-08-27T08:12:00.000-07:00

Both of these came from my homeschooling yahoo group for the greater area in which I live. The second one has some real gems in it. Feel free to pass it along! And have a wonderful schooling year no matter which kind of schooling you choose!

This was too funny (and too true!) to pass up.

Here is a letter by Teresa Dear, a homeschool mom of four. Yes she is being humorous and reminding all of us in this newsletter as to why homeschooling is just sooooo important. I thought you guys would get a kick out of it,especially the title. The article is titled "12 Reasons to just ditch homeschooling altogether."

Homeschool-Articles .com
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Top 12 Reasons to Just Ditch Homeschooling Altogether
Submitted: August 14, 2009 | Author: Teresa Dear | Posted in: Homeschooling: Doing It Well
There are some good reasons to quit homeschooling your children, but most of them break down to one common denominator: to live a life free of responsibility for the quality of your child's education, and to not have to answer to others for the schooling he received. Here are 12 reasons to just ditch homeschooling altogether and send them off each day to be educated elsewhere:

1.) You can blame your child's behavior and bad habits on his peers: they're not his siblings.

2.) You can blame his teacher when your child is "behind:" you're not the teacher.

3.) You would not have to grade papers or keep track of important educational documents or create a transcript.

4.) You would suddenly find yourself having more in common with the people you meet.

5.) You would be relieved of the responsibility to choose the best curriculum for your child.

6.) You could focus on your own personal hobbies or begin to work outside the home.

7.) You would substantially increase the likelihood of having a clean home if no one was in it all day.

8.) You could just complain about your child's environment, teacher, peers, and curriculum instead of being personally responsible for changing or repairing it.

9.) Your public school tax dollars would finally be at work for your family.

10.) You could stop having to justify or prove that your educational choices could be at least as productive as the public alternative.

11.) You could read books that don't use the word "education," "Charlotte Mason," "Trivium," or "self-discipline" in them.

12.) You never again have to answer the question "What about socialization?

AND ALSO:

10 Burnout Busters
>Marybeth Whalen
>The Old Schoolhouse
>
>Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee. Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established. Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil. (Proverbs 4:25-27)
>
>Burnout.
>
>In my ten-plus years of experience, I think I have met only one homeschooler who claimed to never struggle with it. Whether burnout occurs as a result of financial stress, major life change, marital struggles, difficulties with a child, or just plain old exhaustion, most of us are bound to encounter burnout at some point in our homeschooling journey. The question isn,t whether we will face burnout, but rather what we can do about it when we do.
>
>Below are ten Burnout Busters I have found helpful to me at different points along my homeschooling journey:
>
>1. Don't subscribe to the dangerous grass is greener syndrome.
>
>If you have a friend whose kids are in school and you find yourself envying her freedom, read the verse I included at the beginning of this article. These are the times when we must keep our focus on God and on His calling on our lives, not looking to the right or the left. Instead of lamenting your lot in life, focus instead on the benefits of the life you have. Don't circle past the local public school and cast longing glances. Don't ask your kids what they would think about going to school. This is a slippery slope that leads to a declining attitude and much lost ground in the end. When this thought pattern invades your mind, this is the time to ramp up your prayer life and find another homeschool mom to encourage you,even if that is just a blogger who encourages you through her written words. I know I have several blogs I read to encourage me via the miracle of the Internet.
>
>2. Bookend each day with prayer.
>
>Greet the day with a Hello, Lord, what do you have for me and my children this day? Living a life that looks for God's activity and His answers leads to the life of abundance that Jesus spoke of in John 10:10. End the day with a time of praise for what He did in your lives, as well as asking for any needs that arose during the day.
>
>3. Each day after school is over, spend a few minutes assessing the day and planning for the next. This is a good time for reflection and preparation while the day is still fresh on your mind. What went wrong? What went right? What needs to be done differently? You can keep a journal and jot notes in it each day which books to look for at the library, craft ideas you want to try, and any moments you want to remember from your day.
>
>4. Open several Bibles around the house so that you can glean from the Word as you go about your day. Keep your mind fixed on Truth, so that lies have no place in your thought life. You can also write Scripture on index cards and post them around your home. (Don't forget about the kitchen, your bedroom, the bathroom, and the school area.) Write down any verses that ministered to you when you first began homeschooling.
>
>5. Work toward establishing order in your life.
>
>If you are struggling with disorganization and a messy house, that can add to the feeling of being overwhelmed. Consider purchasing a book on organization to help you if this is an area you struggle with. I love The Complete Guide to Getting and Staying Organized by homeschooling mom Karen Ehman. Take time off from schoolwork and designate a week (or two if necessary) to get your home in order. Involve your kids; this is all-important life skill training!
>
>6. Create a rhythm to your day.
>
>I am not advocating a strict schedule unless you think that would work for you. For me, just a fluid rhythm to my day where both my children and I know what to expect is good. This includes time for meals, rest, and play, as well as school.
>
>7. Take a few minutes to plan your meals.
>
>This might sound silly, but it will go a long way toward helping you feel more on top of your day. There is something about already knowing what's for dinner that makes the day feel more do-able! I work on my meal plans on the weekend, posting my list on a write-on/wipe- off board on my refrigerator. I also do my shopping during the weekend so that all the ingredients I will need are in the house for the week. This is a big time saver during the week and is definitely worth the effort I put forth on the weekend when I don't have schooling responsibilities.
>
>8. Get outside. Go for a walk. Go to a park. Look for bugs and rocks and leaves. If you want to make it educational, then use a guide to identify what you find and let your kids take turns sketching these things or just take a photo and keep an inexpensive photo album of your findings. Getting outside and appreciating God's vast creation never fails to give me a fresh perspective and a renewed energy level. If nothing else, just carry a blanket out to your backyard and do schoolwork outside, or read aloud on the deck, patio, or in the hammock!
>
>9. Take time to be alone. It's okay to need, as one friend put it, just a few hours where nobody calls me Mama! from time to time. I like to have a nice leisurely lunch all by myself with just a good book for company. Or join other homeschooling moms at my church group's moms night out. Or venture to a bookstore with my planning notebook for some time to plan and read and pray over what we are doing for school.
>
>10. Don't forget to laugh! Don't be so teacher-oriented that you forget that you are first and foremost a mom. Enjoy your kids. Laugh when they say funny things. Make jokes and be silly. Appreciate the sheer joy that can be found just by looking into their eyes and hearing the sweet things they say. Recently I wrote across the top of my goals for this year: Be joyful! Motherhood is a gift, not a burden!Why is it that sometimes I forget that simple truth? He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord. Psalm 113:9 My hope is that some of these ideas will infuse you with new life, new perspective, and new hope for your homeschool!

Very sweet

2009-08-25T09:24:00.000-07:00

Again, from the Common Room:

http://heartkeepercommonroom.blogspot.com/2009/08/sweetness.html

The reason this is so sweet to me, is that we have so many kids who know each other right now, and are good friends, as are their parents. This kind of thing could happen to us, and while we are already blessed and don't deserve it, I truly look forward to seeing this kind of thing happen at least once to someone. With nearly 60 kids involved in our Rosary Group, well, it's sure to happen at least once.

God bless them. The girl you see in the picture with glasses on is having the first baby in September. I can't wait for the joy on their blog then!

Bursting Bubbles and other thoughts

2009-08-22T13:24:00.000-07:00

Oddly enough, The Common Room found this beauty:

http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/29127316/the_great_american_bubble_machine/

from Rolling Stone of all places. It's long, but well worth reading. I really wonder what all will come to pass and how history will end up rendering it. Sigh...
On that same note, this is an awesome book I highly recommend: The Politically Incorrect Guide to Science.

I put these things up not to scare people, but to get them to notice so they can think about it, instead of being spoonfed gluttonous amounts of one-sided information. It's good to be informed, bad to be scared and decide not to learn so you can sleep at night. If all this makes a person too nervous, it might be a good time to remember who's in charge: GOD. Then, spend some time with Him in prayer, and let it go.

HPV vaccine dangers

2009-08-19T15:18:00.000-07:00

Quite a long time ago, I remember either posting or facebooking that this was a problem. Everyone who decided not to use the HPV Gardasil vaccine "against cervical cancer" was considered a nut job. Why? Because this particular kind of cervical cancer is caused by sex with different partners. So, if we live what we conservative types have been taught, and stay monogamous, then we don't need this vaccine. So then we were told, well, NOBODY stays monogamous, and what if your daughter doesn't? And won't you feel bad if she dies of cancer because you were such a prude?

Oh, the insult to my intelligence knew no bounds. And since my daughter is four, it didn't really matter to me personally. But there were signs early on that this vaccine was dangerous. The medical community pushed for it anyway. There was a huge ad campaign. It was crazy.

And now, today, this: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/CancerPreventionAndTreatment/story?id=8356717

Pushing things through too fast seems to be a trend in quite a few places: government, economics, etc. I'm so not getting that swine flu shot unless it really looks like the cost benefit analysis wins out. So far, it sounds like they are not testing it much and letting rhetoric win again. Personally? I'd rather take my chances without at this point. But that will be another post.

I really feel bad for the families of these girls. This is very sad, indeed.

breech baby?

2009-08-18T06:22:00.000-07:00

I have lots of time this morning because my neighbor's car made a click click click noise this morning as he was, poor man, trying to start it. I thought his daughter was still here to help him start it, but alas. It was 5:50, as usual (he's not very quiet and should have hearing aids big time, but oh well... a very nice neighbor to have). I got out the cables and tried to get close to the car, but the batteries are on opposite sides, so we finally ended up putting it in neutral and backing it up, and voila! it started right up. Magic! So now I'm awake and the kids are not, and I'm really quite happy about that.

Yesterday we had what we call Medical Monday. It's silly, but the best day to go is when the husband is not at work. I really must stop doing that. In any case, the chiropractor and the OB were our stops. We went together for it all, and I took the kids on purpose the the OB this time, because he keeps a small ultrasound machine in his office. The kids wanted to see, and the baby is getting kinda big to fit on the screen anymore, so I wanted to get in there. They liked it. Grace especially, since her Berenstain Bears book shows about seeing an ultrasound. She was only Dominic's age for Dominic, so she doesn't remember his.

At my 20 week ultrasound at the "real" place, they did all those measurements and stuff, but they also found just one very minor potential problem. My placenta is positioned only 2 cm. away from the way out of my body. If it covered that area, and it could, I would have placenta previa. That would be very bad, and definitely result in a c-section, along with a lot of illness while waiting for the baby to be big enough to be born. So thank you, God, for not letting that happen. My mom had that for my middle sister, who was born naturally with five minutes to spare at the hospital, but it wasn't a good situation.

My baby appears to really like the breech position, and I wish she'd turn around while she's still got room, but so far, no good. I asked the OB if we could try convincing her to turn around by hand positioning techniques I've heard of, and he said we could, they do work, but sometimes, just sometimes, that baby is breech for a reason. And if they are breech because of the placenta being placed low, well, that might be something we don't want to mess with. I'd rather have the c-section without the illness and risk of placenta previa (toxemia). Of course, I'd much rather not have the c-section at all, but I don't think a breech birth sounds all that super, either.
I'm hoping she'll just turn around if it's safe to do so. It's only 26 weeks, and there's still lots of time.
Come on, baby!!
Meanwhile, I'm going to learn something about c-sections, just in case...

Why I may not post as much and what I'm reading

2009-08-15T18:14:00.000-07:00

It appears my home improvement gig had a glitch. In my back. Ow.

In 1995-96, I was a varsity rower. Yup. Free trips to CA in spandex and everything. It was great to be in great shape. Problem is, I'm 5'3". That's a lot shorter than the usual of say... six feet? So I tried to overcompensate. They did tell me not to, but I just could not figure out how to row in unison any other way. So of course, I hurt myself.

The same injury is back. Problem is, I'm not exactly losing weight here. I went to my doc and then to physical therapy. They said I can sit on a ball and I can wear a pregnancy belt, and since it's the only comfy position, I need to lay down once every couple of hours. I can do that some days. I just am annoyed that I can't drive much. I'd like to go see my folks about five hours from here, but one hour just about killed me last weekend, so I guess NO is the answer. Sigh. Not likely to get much better til oh... December? But if it does, I'm spending my birthday with my parents.

Sitting is the worst by far. This is a problem because I love sitting when I am pregnant. It's hard to type lying down. And I am going to grade papers this year. Guess I'd better get creative. Standing is better than sitting. Oh boy.

I've been reading the biography of St. Gianna Beretta Molla, who died in 1962 after choosing her baby's life over her own. It's sad, but also she lived her life with such joy and prayer and amazing trust in Providence. I shall have to keep the book around. I'm not really aiming for the martyrdom part, but I can aim for the holiness part. I think that virtues are going to be a major goal this year. Just around the house with my own family. It's a constant struggle to be a good person when I'm tired, and I really need to stop whining and get on with it. St. Gianna is a great example of what a person can be if Heaven is their goal.

Another part which is of interest to me and which makes me think this book will be a present to my wonderful Catholic woman doctor, is that she was a working mom. Yes, we have a married mother around age 40 who worked right up til her fourth pregnancy, which did not go well. She lived and loved with every fiber of her being, and her husband could see how being a doctor was her way of loving Jesus in every person, so she remained working and a mother. What amazing grace. I love this part, because I find the infighting between stay at home moms and working moms as completely callous on the part of both, when we women should support each other as much as we can, not drag each other down. I'm so glad she was made a saint.

The website dedicated to St. Gianna Molla

My political spectrum quizeroo

2009-08-08T13:10:00.000-07:00

I'm laughing, I really am. This was on facebook.

My Political Views
I am a centrist moderate social authoritarian
Left: 0.28, Authoritarian: 1.6

Political Spectrum Quiz

Really?

2009-08-08T11:08:00.001-07:00

Wow. How come I suddenly have triple the number of hits on my blog this week? I wonder if it will stay that way? That's really neat! Thanks, guys!! :)

Who do you trust? :)

2009-08-08T11:06:00.001-07:00

Ha ha ha... CNN poll:

Quick Vote
Who do you trust more to overhaul the U.S. health care system?
Democrats 43% 69282
Republicans 13% 21621
Neither 44% 70313
Total Votes: 161216
read related article »
This is not a scientific poll

I voted neither.

Soccer begineth, among other things

2009-08-08T08:47:00.001-07:00

Woo hoo! We just heard from both soccer coaches. We have soccer on Tuesday and Thursday for Gabe, across town, from 4:30-5:30, and so far on Tuesdays for Brandon from 5:30-6:30, on this side of town. Uh ohs. I'm SO GLAD we have this:

For the first time in six years, we have a truly wonderful, reliable, loveable second car. I also have a husband who will be home by 4pm for the next few months, which will make soccer season possible at least til the end of October, at which point I may have to shout for help on occasion, depending on what shift he gets next.

Yay for a Prius 3! Hooray, hooray, huzzah!

And now to get ready for the chaos that is fall:

1. Soccer = two boys who love it til November something. Practices once or twice a week plus games on weekends.
2. Scouts = selling popcorn (and competing with Nathan and now Joseph, too?!) Religious awards encouragement, too.
3. Baby due Nov. 22. After this particular chaos, but that should slow down my holidays real good.
4. MODG = I'm going back to grading after a year hiatus. I have my student list of 15 students (10th grade history and one solitary religion), and I have a laptop that is getting it's operating system and software installed, and then I will "start over" and be more picky about what I keep on it. Hence, my students shall have a wait a bit longer for me to contact them. I'm going to keep it all in one place!!
5. A friend and I are probably going to assume leadership of our local homeschooling group, just because no one else wants to, and the ladies who are doing it SERIOUSLY need a break. It's one Sunday a month.
6. I'm considering helping start an American Heritage Girls group to coincide with our cub/boy scouts. In fact, if they met during those meetings, that would really be convenient for our larger families. Still researching that. American Heritage Girls
7. Homeschooling. What's that? Oh dear. Still ordering some curriculum for science and for Brandon's hopefully learning to read maybe this year. I hate to spend this much money, but I think we'll both enjoy ourselves more with Sing, Spell, Read, Write, which I'm missing parts to and must order.
8. Working on setting up a schedule for our weekdays. Need chores, prayer, cooking, shopping, and dating the husband on the list. And exercise. I think I'll just sit here with my straitjacket for a while... be back later. :)

So there you go. Now you all can just sit back, relax, and watch the madness. :) I refuse to start school til the day after Labor Day. So there.

Home improvement, and the people who made it possible!

2009-08-07T14:57:00.000-07:00

Thank you, thank you, thank you, oh people who worked super hard for beer and pizza or nothing at all. You know we'll be there when you call us for help! :)

Our home remodel at last...

2009-08-07T14:51:00.000-07:00

Ah ha!! Preview and hide preview do help with this picture posting thing!

These are the "before" shots of our home. Notice the popcorn ceiling. There was gray carpet, but we started removing it quite some time ago. It smelled awful, looked awful, and we knew from our friends that you can successfully paint and walk on your subfloor. So we did.

This one deserves its own post.

2009-08-07T14:41:00.003-07:00

I wish Blogger was more fun to download pics to. I probably don't know something really obvious. If anyone knows what that is, please enlighten me!

This is how hot it was during our hot spell. This is Not Normal anywhere near Seattle, any time.

Uploading and downloading at last

2009-08-07T14:21:00.000-07:00

Some highlights from July are now available! And here they are!

Priorities

2009-08-06T08:13:00.000-07:00

I am reminded of something over and over, and it's in this book and on this website:
http://www.mothersruleoflife.com/

Disclaimer: Very important: Do NOT read this book in order to find "the perfect system". It is for you to read to make your own system, and to keep your priorities in order. Everyone wants to skip them, including me, and that is why people dismiss this book. In fact, the first half of the book is largely about the individual level of spiritual warfare the author had to deal with first, and that may be more important than the rest of the book.

She also has a question/answer website, and a workbook pdf you can buy online if that helps.

Remember the Five P's. THEY ARE IN ORDER. If you screw up the order, you shoot yourself in the foot. DO NOT try to argue with yourself about the order. You will only prolong the process, I promise.

The Five P's are: PRAYER, PERSON, PARTNER, PARENT, PROVIDER.
NOT the other way around, which is very, very often what we are doing. Which is why we are frustrated. You can't reach the level God asks you to reach as a person without prayer, you can't be a good partner to your spouse if you aren't taking care of yourself first, you can't be a good parent in the fullest way if you are neglecting any of the first three P's, and you are going to be one frazzled provider if you aren't doing the first four. When we put provider first, we sometimes neglect things that will be more important in 20 years, even if they don't seem important now.

So go give some thought and prayer to that, and chew on it a while. :)

check in

2009-08-04T12:36:00.000-07:00

Hello All,
Please do enjoy perusing the amazing stuff below. I really enjoyed reading it. I have also been enjoying this book to death, and it has helped me come across this plan I think I may try out... Managers of Their Chores. You can get a set of four chore packs when you order the book. Perfect!

Here is the Duggar's website: http://www.duggarfamily.com/

Their life story is more amazing than I knew. You can also watch short clips from their reality tv documentaries on TLC/Discovery Health Channel. Unlike some reality stars, these folks saw it as God asking them to spread God's word and inspire people in a small way, and they were well grounded people before the tv crews came around. I think they were very blessed in that regard. It's hard to keep your head on straight otherwise!

Can you tell I'm working on organization?

Our floor is almost done, by the way. We had men and beer and pizza here til 11pm last night, and we hope for a repeat today. It shouldn't take too long... we just are afraid to use the saw ourselves.

Pictures will come, I promise!

A small bit more from Robin...

2009-08-03T15:19:00.000-07:00

Here's the last bit...

These replies are not as thorough as some of the rest but they are ‘there’…let me know if you have more questions. I’ll continue to send the replies as I get them and then I’ll send the doc upon its completion. rjb

8. Order of the year: do you take time off? How do you motivate all year long?

Reply by Robin Betz: I do take A LOT Of time off. I tend to work like this:

Mid august start school year for some of all; always my middles and youngers. If I start my older kids I’ll start with math and probably the reading for some of their history and religion. Also, keep in mind, much of their summer reading is the required reading for the upcoming year; setting them up for success.

So, then, we often take a break by the end of September to get one last camp out in at the ocean. (Not always)

We always take the entire week of Thanksgiving off.

By Christmas we are week 16 and we take at least 2 weeks off.

We then take 3 weeks off at Easter; TWO before to clean and prepare our hearts leaving all of Holy week for the 'spiritualness' of it all. Then Easter week to play rest and begin gardening.

In doing this we are still able to take another week off if need be and still be done with school by testing the last week of May. We try to go away as a family that week leading up to testing before things get busy for the summer. We plan the summer fun; discuss what school we’ll be doing for the summer and any big changes.

During the summer we usually do 2 subjects per child; either lightly to brush up on things or wholly to replace something they’d be doing next year to lighten their load. Or, sometimes if they got behind they’ll be ‘catching up.’

9. Getting the entire subject covered?

Reply by Robin Betz:

As stated above; I think by making a plan and making sure one takes breaks; either longer ones like I do or shorter breaks more often, and stick to this plan to the best of your ability, you will feel more confident and more inspired to do so. I believe it is the times when we just go along, stopping for what ‘seems’ important that home school mom’s can feel a constant pressure yet also a constant temptation to sway from the plan. So, yes, we sometimes have issues getting the entire subject covered but I’m fully aware this is happening, it is a conscience choices and sometimes it’s perfectly acceptable, to stop short of completion depending on the subject and the demeanor of my child.

10. Several mom’s spoke of the challenge to be open to change; they spoke of being orderly and like to plan ahead.

Reply by robin bezt:

More often than not I meet idealistic mom’s , maybe my personality attracts these kinds of women, but the fact is, with so few boundaries and so many gifts and possibilities in homeschooling and in parenting in general, I believe we can fall into despair more easily than a mother who has a tendency to aim low or to procrastinate.

Mix Catholic, mother, wife and homeschooling with the tendency towards idealism and you have the potential for a rich life bringing forth Godly children; we also have the potential for neglecting our marriages and deep spiritual connection with God.

Homeschooling can either by our road to sanctity (and sanity J) or our downfall. We, as responsible adults should all be making plans and consulting God and other wise people who have gone before us for advice, however, we simultaneously must be open to change.

Home/homeschooling management advice (long!)

2009-08-01T21:43:00.000-07:00

Last May, I went to a Catholic homeschooling conference in our area. A mom I've known for about eight years volunteered to be on a panel of "experienced" moms, and had such a positive response that she opened up her house to mommies with questions about every gosh darned thing you can imagine in a homeschooling family, or heck, just a family. We had quite a turn out. I was one of two vans who carted people from my town to theirs for the evening, and that was fun in itself!

After the meeting, Robin took down questions and started compiling answers. The following is the email we received if we wanted to be on her mailing list. It may not be well organized, but the notes are there, take whatever you can get from it. Robin and David are parents of 11 children, two in heaven, and one on the way about a month before me. She's the first to say she's learned a lot by not listening to hints from God the first time. It was a delight to hear her stories and visit her home. While none of us should strive to BE her, she's well worth learning from. The reason I say that, is that we should all learn to be OURSELVES. As God intended.

Here are the notes, before I lose them!

Dear interested J

I have been working on the questions that some of you have posed. I was going ot wait and send one doc. When it was complete but it is taking me longer than I planned. I thought I would send to you the questions as a comlete a few at a time and then I will send to you the doc in its entirety. I realized it might be easier to also read a few questions at a time then receiving a longer document.

I am not focusing on grammar or order as much as I am getting my thoughts onto paper for you; excuse the lack of quality there and do let me know if you have any questions.

Prayers for you and yours as you prepare for the coming year.

Please pray for me and for my family!

Robin

Homeschooling questions

Some of the main questions posed included:

These questions were submitted to me either via email or via the meetings:

1. I have a 13 year old son and 10 year old daughter. I switched to Saxon Math from Modern Curriculum Press when my son was in 4th grade, and it's worked very well for us so far. My son just finished Saxon 8/7. I have heard from two or three people not to use Saxon for Algebra. I was wondering if others share this opinion, and if so, what your recommendations for Algebra are. I will appreciate any advice you can share.

Reply from robin betz:

My experience has been this; to pick a program and to stick with it. We follow MODG as much to the’t’ as we are able for all practical purposes. I would definitely sway from this if I felt a need; thus far, except for this year, I have never felt that need. (This year we are having our son who was in the accident do 'teaching text books' for algebra II instead of Saxon ONLY because he was only 2/3 of the way through the book when the accident happened. After he recovered enough to study a bit, we did NOT want to overwhelm him /punish him and have SO much school left for the duration of the summer or to add to his next year. So, we let him do the bare basics, which was up through lesson??? And then told him he could be finished. That being said, Teaching Text books is far less rigorous and has an easier program to follow so we rectified the situation by having him use TT this year for Algebra II. Make sense?) So, this is our 'formula for math':

-we do ABeka work books up through 3rd grade math ( I say this cuz most of my kids do abekka 3 in 2nd grade, so adjust this according to the grade your child would be doing it in, the point is the order I do it in and the general age)

- Then starting in 4th grade level, we switch to Saxon, (which for my kids is usually in 3rd grade)

- In 7th grade we DO include Algebra 1/2 (some families skip this. I figure I'd rather have them have a sound /strong concept than to be so far ahead. We can discuss this if this does not make sense).

-We do alg 1/2, alg 1 then, Jacobs Geometry (I sign the kids up for the chat class via MODG for Geometry; we've had two kids without the class and one child has taken the class. We felt the class was worth the time and money; they use a ‘white board’ on their computers and meet 2x a week. It feels good to have MODG as the 'moderator' for this class. I still work with my kids about 2 hours a week when in geometry quizzing them and letting them do a bunch orally.

- Then following Geometry we do Algebra II in 11th leaving 12th grade for any other kind of math class depending on where the student is heading for college.

- keep in mind we also expect the kids to show ALL of their work and to bring their work to me as soon as they are finished. They then make their changes corrections in a timely manner.

- We keep a grading sheet at the front of the binder to make it easy to calculate their grades.

-BUT, let me add, we DO purchase the DIVE cd's that go with the Saxon work. Our formula for daily lessons is this:

Students do ALL the practice problems. They do half of the lesson, one day 1-15, and the next day 16-30 of the NEXT lesson. If they seem to have trouble then I might ask them to do the remainder of a lesson. If they are struggling I first ask, 'did you read the chapter?", then I ask, 'did you watch the DIVE?" thus far, if my child does all of this, we're left with little to no issues.

Let me show you an example in case this is foggy;

Monday lesson 1 all practice and problems 1-15

Tues lesson 2 all practice problems and problems 16-30

Wed lesson 3: all practice and problems 1-15.

#2

I'm looking for any help organizing my time and schooling with only 'littles'. My children are 6, 4, 2, and 6mos. Especially since #4 was born I feel I can only handle the house or the schooling, never both. Any suggestions on how and when to focus on schooling would be great. I've enjoyed Fly lady and the Large Family Logistics site. I'm also the 3rd oldest of 10 from a homeschooling family so you'd think I'd be able to figure it out, but I'm at a loss as to how to manage it all with children who mostly need me to walk with them every step of the way. Any insites would be great.

Reply from robin betz:

In short, you should only NEED to be schooling about 60-90 minutes a day…is that about what you are doing? If not, let’s discuss that. If you are but you are still feeling overwhelmed, let’s talk about any extras that might need to be altered.

Are you making sure prayers are a priority?

Are you making sure exercise is a priority?

Is marriage a priority?

Are you distracted by the computer or phone or unexpected interruptions?

Is there some sense of order to your day? To your home?

Are there too many things around?

Are there things that are making your life a big mess? i.e.: so many toys that when you finally do school the kids trash the place and the work load is unmanageable?

Are your chores organized so you feel a sense of accomplishment but NOT always working with nothing to show for it?

Let’s start there; just take a minute to consider the above and I bet you’ll be able to hone in on where the issues lie. It will give us a place to start.

3. From looking at your schedule it looks like you have time scheduled each day for your children, is this doable?

Reply from robin betz:

I do have time with my kids each day, this is what I’ve found: about 1 hour a day per child once in school is ideal to plan for and this is why (I’d say more like 90 minutes the first year they are learning to read would be fair to plan for) :

Before the year they are ready to learn to read, which is anywhere from age 4+ to 5+, I just give busy stuff here and there and feed their desires. I work throughout the day on formation, obedience, joy, chores, learning to put things away, doing chores correctly, going to bed and staying there, getting up and getting dressed promptly, learning that what mommy says, mommy means! (Yesterday my 18 month old, as I emphatically told her she must stay on her bed, she pouted back at me ‘Robin, you’re mean!’. I was affirmed more than ever that I was doing the right thing; I lacked NO confidence!

The year they are ready to read until about 3rd grade ,I sit with them and do ALL of their school; basically I get it out of the way, including ; phonics, reading, handwriting, math, religion, and poetry. I’ll combine them with other kids or have other siblings oversee their science, geography, music etc.

4-6th grade I spend about an hour a day ‘going over’ their work, making sure they did it, grading etc. these are the years I have a tendency to let them soar and become very independent, which is good in many ways, but, this can lead them into temptation to lie and cheat as well. It can come along very innocently; when asked if they completed a paper or assignment, a vague ‘yes’ might really mean…’I plan on starting it!” The time I give to this age of child will often be broken up but it is scheduled i.e.; they might go off and do their math and science, bring it to me when it is complete, I will correct it while they work on their worldly wise and Latin. They will STAY there and correct their mistakes in math and science so it is finished for the day, then stay there and complete WW and Latin; ending with me quizzing them in Latin and hearing their poetry. That, all together took probably 30 minutes. They’d then leave to do the rest of their school, coming back to me at a set time to do the same. By the end of the day, they are DONE, we are finished and I know they are on track.

7th – 12th, I sign them up for as much support as we can afford/be part of through MODG. I still save that hour a day to read/go over:

7th grade: grammar and history/religion

8th /9th: check that they are on top of things, read some religion and history with them, correct math, go over papers and essays

10th: quiz them in geometry 3-4 days a week to help them to move along, read over religion and history

11th – 12th: religion and history; check that they are on track, read over papers before they send them into their TA.

So, I have been spending about 8 hours HANDS on with my kids for the last few years and it will be this way for the next decade at least but I’ve had 8 kids actively in school for the last few years. Every time one leaves, at least one more joins the schoolers! J My point is, I think it is safe to say to budget about 5-6 hours a day for hands on schooling if you have 5 kids.

4. It looks like you do summer school, is that true and why?

Reply by robin betz:

As for summer school: for the most part, I find that having them have some sort of schedule is really helpful. I try to evaluate in the spring what we can let go and what we should work on. And, I try to move ahead in some subject I find more challenging so the kids feel ‘ahead’ (and so I do too) so we can slow down later on. Some things, it seems, we can move ahead exponentially if we can just hone in on them. If we do them mixed in with 7 other classes or more, it can feel overwhelming.

And, this fall I am going to have a baby so I felt it would be a good summer to really focus on school. I am paying my daughter carlike to help me!

5. it looks like you have your children read each day, how long do the little ones read?

Reply by robin betz:

As for the amount of time I have the little kids read: when just learning to read, oh, the usual time to get through one reader while reading to me or a sibling. Then, we have a quiet time EACH day for 1-3 hours. It usually goes like this:

First hour (or 45 min.) quiet reading. Usually the school required book

Second hour: playing legos quietly or reading to one another, or finish that early and let them watch a video if they were angelic

Note: My boys do NOT find a passion for reading as early as my girls, but, then when it catches on, I can’t get a book out of their hands. And, they will hide a ‘leisure’ book inside a school book. I have found at about 3rd and 4th grade if you can get them hooked on a series of books i.e.: hardy boys, box car, Betsy Tacy Tibs, then this will go far. This is the age, if they do NOT like to read, to let them read at a lesser level in that they can find the joy in reading. Invest in books that bring their passions out: sports or adventure for boys perhaps, horse books or fantasy ….you know what I mean.

Reply by Meredith Henning:

By not knowing what age your "little ones" are is a bit difficult to answer, but once my children are able to read somewhat fluently on their own (anywhere from 4 - 7 years old) then I have them read aloud to me for about 10 minutes each day (or less, depending on the material). Anyone older than 7 will read for 1/2 hour - 1 hour independently as well as their reading during school/learning hours. This can also happen spontaneously throughout the day. I also make sure the new readers are present at the time when I am reading aloud so they can continue to build their "ear" towards hearing good books read with inflections and proper enunciations, etc.

Reply by Julia Fogassy:

For most of the kids, reading has never been an issue. Once they could read, they read well and often without any prompting. For one of our children, reading did not “happen” until he was nearly ten years old. Even at ten years, it would have been cruel and unusual punishment to require him to read for ten minutes per day. And the other children didn’t need any requirements--so we didn’t have any.

As the children were first learning to read, we did have regular reading time. They read aloud to me from beginning-level books like the Mad and Tab Readers. Depending on the child, it might be ten minutes, or it might be an hour. Some kids could read an entire little book in a few minutes, while others were exhausted after only four pages. Because each child is so different, I think it is necessary to set a pace that matches the child’s ability rather than to think in terms of a set number of minutes each day. For all the children--including the one who did not read until he was age ten--the best motivation was their own personal interest. Once they discovered something that they really wanted to know about or enjoy, they really wanted to read.

6. Meal planning; do I plan out meals, do mega cooking etc?

Reply by robin betz:

Do I plan out my meals each week: yes but sometimes very loosely. The reason I can do this loosely is that I DO have a lot of food stored in the freezer. This is what has transpired and has worked for our family for years. I have frozen soup, burritos, chili, spaghetti sauce, enchiladas, muffins, cookies, in the freezer, so, for a meal, I just warm up a complete dinner and add to it to the best of my ability for that day i.e.: on a busy day, ‘here, enjoy your burrito and carrot sticks, eat up!!” on a slower day, I set out lettuce, salsa sour cream, and guacamole! Make sense? I spend an average of 15 minutes preparing a meal but I’m able to present to my family a nutritious appealing table. We do sit down for 3 meals. I forgo snacks most days; except for me and the older kids! Famished kids will eat anything and a closed kitchen means the kids are doing their school or chores! J

-I rarely MEGA cook in the sense of how some woman do this VERY planned out once a month or every other month.

- I do Mega cook when it seems right, in very large quantities – about 2x a year.

- I ALWAYS ‘mega cook’ in at least large enough quantities for 2-3 meals about 2 times a week.

- Cooking like this can fill your freezer very quickly and it won’t feel so overwhelming on the budget or the body!

- when we do our big mega cook I usually choose 5-7 meals that are faves and are good for that season and we make 6-8 meals of both. I have 8 ‘men’ eating at each meal and 5-7 girls depending on if my daughter is home. Its allot to cook for! I might do this right before school starts and again later winter. I usually spends some time organizing, talk to my husband about money (he always budget an extra $500.00 2 x a year for this but sometimes it gets ‘eaten’ into! Pardon the pun!)

Then I ask him or a few of my teens/tweens to help me to shop and to be ready to help me to manage the food when I get home. Sometimes this means chopping, bagging or frying up beef or cooking off chicken breast.

Then the next day I cook all day ending late in the evening when my husband will help me to put it safely into the freezer. I do things to ‘rush’ the job like making homemade chili but I’ll plan to throw in two big bags of corn to cool it off fast!

-Other than that, I make usually about 2 ‘big’ meals a week

- I make two ‘baked goods’ a week.

- I make at least 2 hardy salads like a chicken salad with a lot of celery, grapes, maybe brown rice to stretch it. Another favorite is a quinoa salad with alto of herbs, veggies and later in the week I might add in some chicken.

- For breakfast we have oatmeal about 4 mornings a week. Other morning we’ll have homemade French fries and homemade turkey meat balls, homemade granola or homemade muffins with a shake of some kind.

- Lunch and dinners are about the same. Usually for about 2 lunches we’ll have left over’s and for dinners, usually about one dinner is left over’s.

-Fridays are almost always tuna or nachos for lunch and a veggie soup or burritos for dinner. We always have a big salad or steamed broccoli w/it.

-we make a lot of homemade protein cookies or muffins packed with nutrition that I often eat 2x a day with a latte or tea.

- by having the homemade muffins and cookies on hand and the home made hearty salads, I can pack a cooler very quickly when we are leaving to go somewhere to make sure we have hearty food, are not tempted to eat out and are not too cranky!!

- I spend money on clear bags and containers. We bag almost all of our meals in gallon bags and label them. Freeze them flat and stack them flat. I purchase the clear single serving or quart containers from cash and carry to package food to go in; these I also use to put left over’s in. by seeing what is in the container I find I save time and waste less. We re-use all of these containers as much a practically speaking.

- I am happy to share more specifics and recipes with you. I have tried to notate the changes I’ve made through the year to accommodate for a large family.

- you should also know that I asked our local grocery store if I could purchase in bulk there and I’d bring all/most of my shopping to them. They were thrilled; they let me purchase anything I want by the case for cost plus 10%. It’s amazing savings. I found a few families to share stuff with me and we have an extra fridge. I.e.: we purchase a huge case of bananas for less than $20.00, if some start to go bad I just freeze them and then we do a mega cook of healthy banana muffs. Ideally one would have compost so you could more easily rid of any waste, but, for now we don’t. In purchasing this way we have a lot of fresh veggies and fruit on hand and we are saving a lot of money. My next goal is to switch to organic.

- I also shop at:

Costco 2x a month: mostly toilet paper, paper things, sour cream, salsa, olive oil, raisins, coffee, rice crackers, carrot juice,

Azure standard 1x a month chips, tea, peanut butter, nuts, quinoa, flax meal, cereals, dried fruit,

Cash and carry every other month: oat meal in the 25# bag but we buy 2 usually, coffee syrups, storage containers both heavy duty for storing grains and the disposable kind.

Shaklee 1 x month: we purchase all of our cleaners, proteins and vitamins, shampoo, face cleansers etc

7. Health issues; dealing with going to doctors and hospital often:

Reply by robin betz

It was a bitter sweet realization how many homeschooler are struggling with this dilemma. On the other hand, homeschooling is truly a blessing when it comes to shuffling it all to fit in all that is required when there is chronic illness to deal with. At the same time, it is most often best to home school all, or have all in traditional school of some kind; that being said having all of the other kids to take care of while running around and caring for the ill child is the real issue!

The financial situation and practical helper situation will be different for each family but the fact is; those of us with medical issues on going in our family need more help of some kind. What kind of help is the question? Always going back to the advice of making prayer and exercise for mom and dad the core of one’s day will enable each family to determine what their needs are. One will also be able to see more clearly what stage you are at; a stage of letting all things go for this is a time of ‘getting by’ or a stage of staying firm in ones plans, sensing that this family needs stability right now.

If you are like me you are constantly being fed from other well meaning homes cool peers, ‘relax, put the books away, there’s time for that later, take care of the family now!” well, with situations like ours that would mean indefinitely. If our child was in a life threatening stage (we’ve been there) we’d do that but for the most part, the routine and the schedule and the consistency of schooling brings about greater peace for all.

We do need to accept that we cannot participate in committed activities like others can, for the most part. It would not be prudent to set up for failure that way; making 2 out of 10 practices or meetings; my gut tells me this world not be profitably or esteem building for anyone. It’s not practical to bring school to the hospital; the expensive and necessary supplies are devoured by the van and the waiting room. A note pad for writing letters, a stack of flash cards or inexpensive readers on the other hand are ideal; so what if you never see them again.

Consider hired help period. I thought we could not afford it until I was on my deathbed. Viola; we found the money. Find it. Budget for it. Pray for it. jump at any opportunity that has possibility i.e.: a gal just came my way in need of money, she has a baby attached, she is a strong catholic and I felt I could talk to her right away; there was a peace. Her baby is attached and her first suggestion of what she’d like to earn per house was over double what I planned to pay her. I continued the dialogue; although it is NOT ideal, there are so many ‘pros’ to this that I’m going to invest in this possibility. If I invest and this does not work out; I’ll trust this is God’s will.

Make plans, lists and schedules that are easy for others to take on while you are away. For example, a huge help for me is when someone else will walk through my kids ‘tick’ lists with them. Their lists include chores, music and other daily responsibilities. I ask the person who has kindly offered to help me out, ‘will you please move through this list, have the child prove to you that they have done these things with integrity. Don’t just ask the child, but have them show you proof!” by my taking the time to write this up, this enables someone else to take my role. Type up expectations for each chore; we have a list of ‘to do’s in the bathroom inside the bathroom cupboard listing my expectations for a clean bathroom. When the child says, ‘I’m supposed to clean the bathroom.’ The helper can use the list as the ‘bad guy’. Too often things get out of whack and we fall behind because so much is done half way when I’m not around. After a long day of caring for a child, going from hospital to clinic, and coming home to piles of laundry and partially accomplished chores; it’s disheartening yet those at home felt they did the best they could with what they had to work with.

Planning and clearly scheduling sets everyone ups for success. Clearly state the consequences for those who do not comply.

Write out a general routine for the day so the helper can follow through to keep stability in the home in this way.

When people offer to bring food, suggest a variety of things include paper goods but exclude dessert; feeding your kids who are yearning for you sugar and letting them indulge in videos on a regular basis is not a gift to anyone in the long run. We must keep in mind this is not a short lived crisis time; this is an ongoing chronic situation and we must adjust our lives accepting that we are chosen, unique and therefore our lives will not be like the friend who does NOT have a child, or children with these needs. Period. Pray for enlightenment, pray for creativity, pray for the wisdom to know what your family really needs.

Maintain the weekly intimate dates and also the ‘business’ time with your husband; you need this NOW more than ever, NOT less. Again, if it was a crisis week that is one thing but for most of us this is ongoing. We need this date and exercise and prayer time more than ever!

25. I have a 13 year old son and 10 year old daughter. I switched to Saxon Math from Modern Curriculum Press when my son was in 4th grade, and it's worked very well for us so far. My son just finished Saxon 8/7. I have heard from two or three people not to use Saxon for Algebra. I was wondering if others share this opinion, and if so, what your recommendations for Algebra are. I will appreciate any advice you can share.

Reply from robin betz:

My experience has been this; to pick a program and to stick with it. We follow MODG as much to the’t’ as we are able for all practical purposes. I would definitely sway from this if I felt a need; thus far, except for this year, I have never felt that need. (This year we are having our son who was in the accident do 'teaching text books' for algebra II instead of Saxon ONLY because he was only 2/3 of the way through the book when the accident happened. After her recovered enough to study a bit, we did NOT want to overwhelm him /punish him and have SO much school left for the duration of the summer or to add to his next year. So, we let him do the bare basics, which was up through lesson??? And then told him he could be finished. That being said, Teaching Text books is far less rigorous and has an easier program to follow so we rectified the situation by having him use TT this year for Algebra II. Make sense?) So, this is our 'formula for math':

-we do ABeka work books up through 3rd grade math (I say this cuz most of my kids do abekka 3 in 2nd grade),

- Then starting in 4th grade level, we switch to Saxon,

- In 7th grade we DO include Algebra 1/2 (some families skip this. I figure I'd rather have them have a sound /strong concept than to be so far ahead. We can discuss this if this does not make sense).

-We do alg 1/2, alg 1 then, Jacobs Geometry ( I sign the kids up for the chat class via MODG; we've had two kids with and 2 kids w/out this. it feels good to have MODG as the 'moderator' for this class. I still work with my kids about 2 hours a week when in geometry quizzing them and letting them do a bunch orally.

- Then following Geometry we do Algebra II in 11th leaving 12th grade for any other kind of math class depending on where the student is heading for college.

- keep in mind we also expect the kids to show ALL of their work and to bring their work to me as soon as they are finished. They then make their changes corrections in a timely manner.

- We keep a grading sheet at the front of the binder to make it easy to calculate their grades.

-BUT, let me add, we DO purchase the DIVE cd's that go with the Saxon work. Our formula for daily lessons is this:

Students to ALL the practice problems. They do half of the lesson, one day 1-15, and the next day 16-30 of the NEXT lesson. If they seem to have trouble then I might ask them to do the remainder of a lesson. If they are struggling I first ask, 'did you read the chapter?", then I ask, 'did you watch the DIVE?" thus far, if my child does all of this, we're left with little to no issues.

Let me show you an example in case this is foggy;

Monday lesson 1 all practice and problems 1-15

Tues lesson 2 all practice problems and problems 16-30

Wed lesson 3: all practice and problems 1-15.

26. First of all, you mentioned that you include Algebra 1/2 in 7th grade. Does this mean in addition to Math 8/7? My son just finished 7th grade and we used Math 8/7. Would you recommend doing Algebra 1/2 in 8th grade or go right to Algebra 1? Please bear in mind that he does not like math at all, so even though he does fairly well, it's a struggle for him.

Reply from robin betz:

As for doing algebra 1/2 in 7th grade, NO, NOT in addition, I had mentioned earlier that my kids usually start abbeka 3 in 2nd, then Saxon 5/4 in 3rd, and so on; hence, by 7th grade they are ready for algebra 1/2. (4tth grade they are in 6/5, 5th grade they are in 7/6, 6h grade they are in 8/7, 7th grade they are in alga 1/2.) I think once we strayed from this but the most important point I was trying to make was the order of what we did, namely, INCLUDING algebra 1/2, whereas some families choose to opt out. Perhaps if you KNEW your child was headed for advanced math, if you or your husband were math whizzes, then I could see moving at a faster pace, otherwise, I recommend going slower. You don't want your child to be in high school and because they are so far advanced they HAVE to take really advanced math classes simply cuz you chose to push them. Make sense?

And, noting that your child does NOT like math, again, I'd recommend going slower by including alg 1/2 regardless of what grade he does it in. make sense?

27. The other thing I wanted to know is if you have any kids in college. The reason I had been given for not using Saxon for Algebra is that it doesn't prepare them well enough for college level courses. Have you heard this or found it to be true? I would prefer to stay with Saxon since I think the "incremental approach" is helpful for my son; but I don't want to put him at a greater disadvantage than he may already be because of his dislike for the subject.

Reply from robin betz:

I have two in college right now. I have not heard that it does NOT prepare one; the only thing I DID hear was depending on what grade they are in when they are taking Geometry, get it in BEFORE the 11th grade testing PSAT and moving on into SAT /ACT etc.

28 How do you manage a child that has a lot of pride? They don't like to be taught, scolding doesn't work, lecturing doesn't work, incentives don't work to motivate them, punishment (i.e. taking things away) doesn't motivate them, physical punishment doesn't motivate them, etc. What else is left???? How do you get this child to be "on your side?"

Reply by robin betz:

I've learned a lot through the years about possible reasons behind WHY a particular child is acting a certain way. Above all, maybe we'll never know, and maybe, even if a doctor or other person labels them something, we'll find out they were way off. All I do know is I two kids of whom NOTHING seemed to work until I tried a few particular things. I will go into detail but first I'll list a few characteristics that might build my credibility and one's confidence to at least try to always start here.

I have kids who, even with the most calm environment, can be distracted by just a thought or they will begin drawing on their paper or who will still NOT be able to move forward (and are usually distracting others!) I have kids who so very extremely feel/see that there is ONE way of doing things i.e.: start at a certain place on the paper, use a particular pen or pencil, and sit in a particular chair. I have a child who will just sit there and say, ‘I can’t do it’. I can list reward after reward and you can see the desire to do it, but they are frozen! I really feel their inability, they are trapped...by what? It’s scary sometimes!

I have a child who is seemingly a perfectionist, I say seemingly because it really is not consistent, but it is present most of the time. In fact, the perfectionist part is so extreme, it's scary, and I feel as if I want to free him from this demon! But, there are times that he's lackadaisical about a particular request, so why is that? I believe that all the things that bring about security for this child are in order; I sense it, I see the results and I feel like hollering, ‘ok, what I did I do RIGHT this time! Lord, help me hone in on this so I can do it over and over again!”

I don’t know if I or any specialist will ever have the 'right' answer or antidote but I do know, in ALL of these cases, I have seen progress when I have these things in order:

- my prayer times and quiet times to really put things in God's hands, to pray for my kids by name and ask to see/feel/sense what is right/best. 'Give me the confidence Lord.' Have you looked at some suggestions from the outline; giving oneself contemplative prayer and family prayer sprinkled throughout the day.

-for the particular child, but all if you are able, (hone in on the ones who are out of balance) give them 15 minutes a day of 'eye to eye' I try to call it; which means really listening. They truly have a 'fear' if that letter’d’ is NOT written the way it should be. This fear is not rational but they are not feeling secure. They need security they are just not sure why; I'd call it anxiety. I believe with all of my heart it is mostly stemming from ME, yes me. As mother, main provider of care and stability; in my case probably my temperament that is not calm and secure with a sense of panic moving from one thing to the next always rushing and reminding that we're going to be late (cuz there is so much to do!). Or other mom's, maybe cuz they are helter skelter and don't have a routine, distracted by the phone or computer and perhaps their house is un-orderly, sometimes to a shocking state. This can wreak havoc on the child's ability to feel secure and it will have to come out somehow!

- Try to get inside the mind and heart of the child; read Brain Lock by Jeffrey M. Schwartz M.D. was an interesting book to read. It was good for me to read because I was trying other things at the same time this book was recommended to me by a person who has ALWAYS been on in evaluating me and my children. She is/was 'on' in guiding me with some of my obsessive kids too but in this case, although the book was helpful, it actually also affirmed some of the other things I was doing.

The 3 main things I recommend doing are: 1. One's own prayer life, 2. Evaluate the balance in one's home/get advice from someone else who, to you, seems balanced and be open to their evaluation, 3. 15 minutes a day of 'one on one', 'eye to eye'. It won't help to ask, 'why do you feel that way?" - they don’t know.' but 'what are you feeling?" 'You know yesterday when it was so important to you to have things you way. I know you didn't like the punishment and I know you didn't like disappointing mommy, and I know you know that sometimes you just have to do what you are told, but you didn't. I want to help you to be happy and to feel good about minding mommy, let's talk about this ok, just you and me." I stand at my child's bed who is in the top bunk, or I take him for a walk away from others so he can be on my lap, so I do mean physically 'eye to eye'.

The touch from parent to child is so important. If they are not open to it (or if you are not naturally this way!) persevere and build that ability to touch and to be close to this child; they need it more than any others! Encourage dad to do the same. Encourage dad to do the 15 min. a day especially if you are feeling taxed and can't do it.

It should be encouraging for you to know that when I've had a child like this (its been more than once) it was bitter sweet for I also saw it as a reason to force myself to give each child 15 minutes; its yet to happen, in fact, after a few weeks of doing this with the one troubling child, we see progress so I begin to forgo my commitment. I used to feel badly about this, but now I don't. I feel like, 'you know, I'm hear 24.7. Hence I'll see the red flag coming and I have; we just right back into the same routine. And, it is encouraging to know this is a ‘bump’ to move over, all the while it is a tendency this child will have into adulthood possibly.

I alert my husband; 'hey, this child needs 'eye to eye', 'one on one'. I'm telling you we often never get to any root or hear any specific 'fears', but we see progress. Simultaneously I am working on my own prayer life and the temperaments of the house. Tadah...progress regardless of completely wiping out a problem. It’s a beautiful progressive cycle instead of a vicious, out of control cycle which we, as moms, especially, are drained by!

So, you've build up this close bond with this child, it's time for school, the attitude starts, all I need to say is, 'so, child, I see you are struggling, (I put my arm around him JUST like I did the day before and the day before that, sometimes taking him into my lap), remember our last talk, remember how you told me _______, you can trust me. I need you to trust me right now, do what I ask and as soon as this assignment is complete, we'll __________, or I'll allow you to take 10 minutes to ________. (Follow through but also bring them right back to move through the next assignment).

I have NEVER had a child NOT melt at the desire to please me and to be free from their fears. They will and you will see this progress and this will feel good to all of you! Keeps this cycle going. If the child does Not comply, or at some point chooses to back slide; I would still follow through with consequences but immediately give them that attention meaning this 'eye to eye' I’m talking about is NOT conditional on their follow through and good behavior; it is atop any discipline etc. i.e.: maybe it's this , 'child, ok, this is wasting your time and mine, I need for you to come and do some chores with mommy to make up for this.' during this chore time, talk if they are open, pray, but after the 10 minutes of chores are done, try to take a few minutes (keep in mind if the 15 minutes of 'eye to eye' is consistent then at times like these, 2-5 minutes can be very satisfying. Take that time right after the discipline time and sit, 'listen, I know your choices not to obey did not bring happiness to you or to me, I believe in you, you've trusted me before, I know you can do this. common', I'll be near you and I'll be here when you succeed and get this assignment completed, ok!?" time like these will get further between.

Lastly, we use homeopathy. I believe homeopathy, constitutionally focused for these kids is a big part of our success.

Back to Brain Lock; here's how I see it. I think his ideas are great and I think they have saved lives, marriages and families; that is awesome. But I felt, from my experience, it was taking this to a certain level, I felt there is so much more, don't settle for that! and, I felt like it was a lifelong remedy of rules to follow for everyone in their life when ideally, the person would grow stronger and grow out of this pattern, only falling back into this patter occasionally. I repeat, the suggestions and information was still helpful and it was especially helpful to get into the mind of kids/ people like this.

Have you ever watched "monk'. Rent a series; even if our kids/ love done are never diagnosed with OCD, like with ADD and ADHD, whose kid are not this way sometimes! In getting into the minds of others we can better anticipate their actions, better feel compassion and empathy for their feelings thus behavior thereby providing us with a clearer sense of where to start and breaking the cycle.

I will close with this; these kids are the ones I’ve most often lost my temper with and spanked in anger instead of control; I’ve felt remorse, gone to confession and sought counseling. I was wrong to lose control but I’m human and I’ve learned. I often thank God for so many kids so I feel like a have a 2nd, 4thn ad 10 chance to prove myself! I am closer to these particular kids than I ever thought I could be to a child; this is a gift. Try to avoid my mistakes but when you fall or when you are so frustrated just remind yourself that God gave these particular children to you, these will be the kids that refine you, challenge you and enable you to enter heaven earlier than another because IF you pick up the cross and see this as a ‘job’ you didn’t plan on but God clearly entrusted to you, you’ll be able to embrace it. take care of yourself and your marriage and you will be easily see this as a challenge and specific task that God has chosen especially for you and it will feel more like an honor vs. a burden!

30. How much do your older kids help?

Reply by Robin Betz:

We believe in earnest that is it our responsibility to empower our children to be functioning members of our family, to contribute from a very early age. My 18 month old, although a rare case, puts the dishes way and most of them away in the correct place! Granted, she is NOT on the chore list but we do include her and tell her ‘we need you”! We believe much of the problems today in our culture are from idle time and the feeling of inadequacy, too much time on their hands, and the lack of belonging. Moreover, the children need to learn the skills, learn what they are good at, where they are lacking, work on some areas and also accept their strengths and weaknesses. They also need to come to understand how their actions effect others, how the timeliness of completing a chore is of value; they must feel the pain if indeed they do not follow through.

We change the chores as needed but in general, about 2 times a year. If a child HATES their chore, I tell them ‘once you have mastered it, and kept up on it for a few weeks at least, I’ll consider switching for you. Inevitably this child has been slacking cuz they dread the chore. If the chore is so gruesome to them that they continue to neglect it, I’ll replace that chore with TWO harder chores; the grass is not greener!

See number 33 for our ‘hire a maid chart’. And here is a sample of our current chore chart for summer. The oldest child at home is listed at top, Tony, moving down to our youngest child on the list age 4.

Summer Chores

Mom checks chores at lunch and after dinner.

2.00 For every daily job that is missed, 5.00 for it not getting done by the end of the day.

10.00 for not getting a weekly job done and add 2.00a day to that each day it is not done

20.00 For every monthly job that does not get done and 5.00 for each day until it complete.

Kids ages:

Tony 18, danny 16, tessa 14, evan 12, gemma 11, willy 9, eliza 7, Julian 6, warren 4, may grace 18 months

Dishes away: gem

Dishes washer Tessa

Floors: Evan

Food: tues: Gem yogurt Thurs: Gem celery and carrot sticks

Rotating laundry Sort/fold and put into bins: 3 loads rotated and 3 baskets put into baskets AND laundry person must also put away the ‘random’ basket including linens etc.

Mon: Danny Tony puts away tony and dad’s and mom’s

Tues: mom

Wed: Tessa Tess puts away w. clothes/bibs/rags into cleaning bins

Thus: Evan gemma puts away May’s clothes

Friday: Gemma

Saturday: Willy Warren puts away bath towels daily

Sunday: Eliza

Julian puts away Julian and hand towels, wash clothes and bibs

Sweeper: am: Gemma, lunch: Evan, Dinner: Danny

Dogs/play/brush and poop scoop –

mond/willy Tues/ Willy wed/gemma thur/evan frid/Dan sat/ Eliza sun/ gem and daddy

Daily, Weekly and Monthly Chores:

Tony: Daily: garbage’s, put away dad, mom and your laundry, Weekly: Mond: organize and take out recycleTues. Garb/recd down Wed match sox Thurs: sweep and mop all downstairs floors including apartment, laundry room, bathroom, hard woods Friday: Vac up, Month by the first sat: front fridge/freezer and car port with Daniel

Daniel: Daily: feed dogs, laundry away, vitamins, piano and guitar

Weekly: Mon: laundry Tues. vacuum up and stairs Wed: vac out dryer Thurs: wipe down all computers Frid. Vacuum Downstairs and organize back apartment including videos/games, dogs. Monthly by the first sat: back fridge and freezer and wipe down apartment kitchen well and car port w/ Tony

Tessa: Daily: take vitamins, pocket bathroom in a.m., dishes all day, piano and violin

Weekly: Mon. clean bins Tues: dust downstairs and organize piano/violin stuff Wed. laundry Thurs: organize pantry Frid. Big van Sat: Monthly by the first sat: clean school room (1 hour)

Evan: Daily: vitamins, laundry down, sort and start a load, floors all day and swiff when needed, put away your laundry, piano Weekly: Mon: organize snack cupboard and pantry Tues: my desk Wed: orgnanize cd’s and piano/violin stuff Thurs laundry and dogs Frid. Deck Monthly by the first sat: organize work bench and garage

Gemma: Daily: Laundry, vitamins, garbage at each meal, put dishes away all day, put Mays’ clothes, piano and violin Weekly: Mon. junk drawer Tues: match all female shoes and make yogurt wed: sort all toys in living room and organize front closet and dogs Thurs. C &c sticks Fri. laundry and match socks for 45 minutes Sun: dogs

monthly by the first Sat. Make granola and deep clean the kitchen

Willy: Daily your clothes away, vacuum living room before bed and wipe down boys bathroom at quiet time and counter after each meal, piano and violin Weekly: Mon: drawers under counter and dogs Tues: silverware drawer, dogs wed: front patio Thurs: cupboards under stove Frid. Covered porch sat: laundry monthly first sat: find all scissors, org pencils and sharpen/ pens and fill calendar with pens (at least 20) and vacuum out both dryer vents in the laundry room and under the house.

Eliza: Daily before bfast your bed, pledge of allegiance, girls bathroom, all appliances Weekly: Mon: match socks, tues: dust upstairs wed junk drawer organize Thurs: fill/organize fruit/potatoes/onions etc Frid mini van w/ Warren’s help Sat. dogs Sun: launrdy

Monthly by the first sat: clean out all bath drawers with Julian

Julian: Daily: hand towel, cloth and bibs drawers, make bed Weekly: Mond: fill holy water fonts Tues: organize and wipe our honey/peanut butter cupboard Wed: sharpen pencils in kitchen and school room Thurs: tidy coffee /tea cupboard Friday: Clean out under all beds in girl’s room and silverware drawer

Monthly: help Eliza clean out all bath drawers

Warren: make bed, put away all entry and basket of shoes before bfast, wipe down all chairs and tables after meals, put laundry away fold and put bath towels away

Weekly: mon: sort and organize all boys shoes except dads Tues: organize snack cupboard Wed: straiten books in living room Thurs:stock toilet paper, disperse, unwrap etc Friday: clean out under boys beds and help Eliza with min van

Monthly: scrub out dishwasher

Reply by Julia Fogassy:

Before we started homeschooling, all the older children already had assigned chores. Once homeschooling started, that trend continued. We had a chart on the kitchen wall that showed who-did-what-when. The chores included emptying the garbage, washing the kitchen floor, doing the dishes, cleaning up the table and counters. Sometimes the kids traded jobs if they had a schedule conflict, but they generally kept to the plan. Because we had enough children to go around, no one had to do the same job twice in one week.

Most of the time, things went well. Some children were notoriously lazy and did a poor job, but other children would come along the next day and do a superior job, so as far as the housekeeping went, things were fairly well maintained. We never really did manage to perfect everyone’s character, but at least they learned how to do housework and had the experience of being responsible for regular chores.

I recently met an older woman who was aghast at the thought of requiring children to do regular chores. In her home, she had done all the work and “let her children be children.” She was even very concerned about harming a child’s psyche if you required him to clean his own bedroom and she used her own children as an example of how successful her methods were. Her adult children are good upstanding citizens who clean their own rooms and make their own way in the world and she is sure that they would not have done as well if she had “burdened” them with household chores. When I suggested that she had a very different case because she only had two children, she replied, “Well my dear, I never thought it was a good idea to burden my children with chores that rightly belong to a housewife, and I’ve never thought it was a good idea to burden the world with more than two children.” I just smiled and nodded.

Reply by Meredith Henning: My older kids do help, our age split is 13 (girl) 10 (boy) 7 (boy) and 4 (boy so we often pair up one older with one younger for certain times of the day. I also have quite a bit of laundry help from my daughter, she does most of the folding and putting away and even takes care of any ironing that her father might need :) One of the things that I have found most helpful with the older ones is to make sure they get plenty of chat time with me throughout the day so that when I need them to help with the little list, it's not so much of a drain on them. They are also quite happy to engage in Lego or tea party play to occupy a younger one while I work one on one with someone else for a little while (usually 15-20 minutes spans).

31. How do you explain staying open to life? With such serious medical problems, we have been told that we have a 50/50 chance of them having the same complication with future children. (Even my own mom asked which one of us "was getting fixed" after the birth of my last child.) Ugh!)

Reply by robin betz:

I don’t. Period. I used to but now I don’t. I try to always come back with questions to them if I must, ‘I’m not sure what you are asking?” I’m not sure what you are saying. If I’m brought to it, ‘are you saying you would have aborted Susie if it were you?” ‘Oh, then what were you saying?” I have not had a time that I didn’t pose a question to someone, with charity and sincere awe that the person in question did not end up fumbling and realizing their comments and pointed questions were out of line, inappropriate and in most cases, they themselves, had not thought through what they were saying to me. Do your best to always speak with charity, never malice for they are ignorant of the truth and without the gifts you have. But, I must add, this charity will not come without your choosing to take time to pray and to be fed by your heavenly Father! Their comments will take you by surprise and you’ll spit out something you will regret. If you pray and admit the truth about the culture of death, although sad, you’ll be prepared and armed and ready to spread the message of life and they’ll sense it about you, see it on your face and benefit from your sincere desire to reply to their ignorance.

32. How do you approach the medical community when you have multiple kids with the same problem?

Reply by Robin Betz: IN general I remain distant. I try to spend time contemplating their position; their ignorance. I pray for them. I can feel under attack at time, even by my own family, even my own community (unfounded but true, Satan I’m sure). I do my best to remain strong spiritually and physically when going into the public eye, to the doctor etc and most of all around family who does not support/understand, (nor do they care to). If I’m strong I can sense the appropriate things to say. Sometimes with as bogged down as we get we can end up turning to almost anyone who asks and ‘sharing’. Come to find out later, these just happened to be people in our path and we should have actually, out of prudence, refrained from being completely forthcoming.

It is not phony to aim to show the medical community your joy, and rarely your sorrow. Refrain from complaining or whining to them; call me, call someone else who will understand and free yourself from a well deserves chat session about how difficult life can be with kids with special needs like this. Be prudent in what you say and when you say it to the public medical community.

33. How have you motivated your children (mine are 6, 5, and 1 and maybe one on the way) to complete their morning routines without constant reminders? My children get distracted by many things in the morning. I'd like to have all of our morning routines completed by a certain time each morning.

Reply by Robin Betz:

We eat meals as a family; we don’t eat until all chores are complete and house is tidy; period. Keep in mind ones expectations must be realistic and Mom MUST be around, aware, present and ready to guide, praise and support.

For instance, I might have a list for my kids that age and all, expect the 1 year old, are old enough to look at that list and work through it, but, if I’m on the computer or out running I’m asking for trouble, vs. if I’m in the kitchen cooking or tidying the house while my kids are also doing their chores then we are set up for success. Mom should not nag or prod but perhaps say, ‘so, have you checked your tick list? It’d be nice to have milk with that cereal today, sure hope you decide you want that and choose to get your chores completed in a timely manner!” or,

Make some sort of a list but at the same time don’t make it a burden on you; hold the kids accountable at an early age. For daily prep responsibilities like tidying house, making bed, getting dressed etc I hold steadfast to the ‘food’ thing, and of course anything else that we’d like to do that is enjoyable i.e.: we’d cancel a play date if their responsibilities were not taken care of. If not a meal then something else. If the only thing you have planned for the day is school, meals and chores, you see my point; we all have a sense of hunger and want to satisfy this. The point is, we work as a team, what YOU do make a different to the whole, we’ll all gather when the home is in order. I’d say 20-30 minutes to run through morning chores, throw a load of laundry in, make beds, do one or two random chores, and tidy the bedrooms (cuz you went to bed with a clean house the night before right?)

But if it is a random chore, daily chore etc likes ‘Tuesdays, mike sweeps the front porch’, we move on, I say little but he feels the pain. If he does not do this, I say nothing, but I charge/take money from their savings. My kids from an early age pay for almost all of their needs beyond food, shelter and bare basic clothing. But, we DO give an allowance 1 dollar a year per month starting at age 4.

. This is how we see it; you can do your chore and participate in brining order and harmony to the family or, help to hire a ‘maid’. I, as mom/leader, determine what I’ll do with that situation i.e.: I might hire a sibling to do the chore, I might hire that same child back (at a lower wageJ) to do the chore a different time, I might let the chore go knowing I have some extra cash to do with what I’d like. The fact that they feel the pain of their choice is a must. We repeat the message, ‘you are an important part of this family, we need you, and things will not run as smoothly without you. It’s like the body of Christ - what one does or does not do effects the whole.

Mom checks chores at lunch and after dinner.

2.00 For every daily job that is missed, 5.00 for it not getting done by the end of the day.

10.00 for not getting a weekly job done and add 2.00a day to that each day it is not done

20.00 For every monthly job that does not get done and 5.00 for each day until it complete.

Reply by Meredith Henning:

We like to set a timer and see who can finish their appointed task before the timer goes off. This can include things like getting dressed, making beds, brushing hair, teeth, washing faces, etc. I imagine it's mainly for the 6 and 5 year olds and perhaps they would like to create their own chore charts and be able to put on a sticker or draw a star each time they complete their tasks. I have also been known to put on some upbeat music to get things moving or completed, especially if we need to head out the door for an activity or daily Mass. Then we say special prayers of thanksgiving in the car on the way to our outing thanking our Guardian Angels for helping us with our chores (or patron Saint, etc.) Other motivators that have worked for us is to earn a story with mommy or special treat like a tea party or game of cards or board game when a certain amount of tasks have been completed.

Reply by Julia Fogassy:

I guess it would be accurate to say that we never had a morning routine. The only routine things we did were school work and chores in the afternoon and evening. Mornings were laid back because for a good many of our homeschooling years, my husband did not go to work until noon. We got up around 10 am and had a leisurely breakfast. After Dad left, we got to work on school things. Only then was it necessary to think about motivating anyone.

With two of our children I have found it necessary to stoop to bribery--just to get through reading and math lessons. The other children were either self-motivated or willing to be led, but these two were a real challenge. I used gummy bears and pennies at first. Their ability to focus was so fragile that it had to be frequently bolstered. At first, it had to be an immediate sensory reward--a gummy bear in the mouth. Then we graduated to pennies. I hung a sock on the wall above the table where they were working and each time they made a letter or number that was well formed I’d drop a penny in the sock. At the end of the week, they could spend the pennies or save them for some future purchase. As they got older (second grade) I used nickels, and eventually dimes, but the rewards got farther and farther apart. By the end of second grade we saved up coins for a month before they got to spend them. I told myself that even though bribery was less than ideal, that over time we were at least making progress by extending the gratification from immediate to a month away.

The other children were generally compliant with their work and their chores, but if there was a deadline to meet, I would sometimes encourage prompt completion of duties by promising everyone a milkshake or a doughnut. I was amazed at how fast they could move when gastronomically motivated.

Science conundrum for homeschoolers

2009-07-31T16:30:00.000-07:00

I'd say that the one kind of curriculum we homeschoolers constantly change is probably math. We are always trying to find the "best" thing that will "work" for the most kids. And it's really hard. But I think I have that covered this year.

What I am having trouble with is science.

I usually use Mother of Divine Grace School's recommendations. There is a curriculum called Concepts and Challenges and it is listed under Emmanuel Books. I looked at it, but I wasn't that excited about it. I was able to actually page through at a friend's house, so that I didn't buy something sight unseen and spend a lot of money on it. It looked slightly more interesting than the stuff I read in school as a kid. Not awful, just not exciting.

At least not as exciting as this, from Apologia Press.

and this , which is their "notebooking" book to go with their Botany book.

The same company does "Exploring Creation with Biology" and others by Dr. Jay Wile. They are very, very scientifically sound, they simply add one thing: God. They give God credit as creator of a beautiful world and all that nature has in store for us. I happen to like that feature. I have also graded MODG work in the biology course, and thought, gee, this looks like a real biology course. And then I asked my husband, whose degree, it happens, is in biology, and he said the same thing. So it wasn't my fevered homeschooler imagination. Ha!

Another friend and I were thinking we'd do science together this year, mostly to keep each other honest (and to make me do science experiments which somehow always get put off forever). If we both choose the same one, then ta da! problem solved. I just want to be sure that this will work out long term. I think so. Also, if we pick astronomy, we have friend's grandpa who'd be all over the telescope at 2 am thing.

Thoughts anyone?

Shouldn't have looked

2009-07-31T15:45:00.001-07:00

Another project that would really help out the end of my kitchen that faces the dining area. Much easier than the real thing, yet still daunting. I love the idea!!

House update

2009-07-31T15:40:00.001-07:00

Ok, so we're definitely making progress.

We, with the help of very good friends, finished painting the walls today. They are perfect. I'm very,very happy with them. It is exhausting work!

Tonight, if the children are behaving... we are going to have a friend come and (over)analyze our laminate flooring plans. That way, if we forgot something, we won't go partway and go, oops, forgot that. We hope. I bought the vapor barrier/underlayment, even though it came with some, just to be sure. We have an assortment of friends with skil saws to help cut it to fit, also. I just want to see how the stuff snaps together. After that, crown and base moulding, and a little more touching up. Then a big break before I even think about attacking the kitchen floor's linoleum. Attacking that requires some very large objects to move, including the fridge, water heater, washer and dryer. I could move the stove and dishwasher, too, if I'm CRAZY.

I'm just glad the paint is done!!

It's way too hot.

2009-07-27T21:50:00.000-07:00

Seriously. I can't stand to read the forecast. If you aren't familiar with the coastal regions of WA and OR, we don't do air conditioning in many homes. Why? Because we only need it one week a year, maybe. Today, all the fans and ac units were sold out at Lowes.

Why was I at Lowes?
To get pricing on a kitchen counter and sink. It was way way too much. Sigh. Back to square one, good thing I'm in no hurry.

Our ceiling looks loverly. Really nice. Now we need to paint the walls. I was waiting for everything to get good and dry.

And it's too hot to do ANYTHING after 10am. Blah. Til like next Sunday if we are lucky. Time to spend lots of time in the water. Yup. It's 10pm, my hair is wet, and I'm still way too hot.

There appears to be a raised part of our subfloor, and I wonder if it is water damage. Because if it is, I have to replace it. NOOOOO!!! But better than laying down flooring and then ripping it all back up. So we shall wait, and then we shall perhaps call in our friends who are experts in this sort of thing. Yay! I have such great friends.

Going to bed now, just thought I'd say hi.

Pray for rain.

Home Demolition Derby

2009-07-23T08:03:00.000-07:00

We are insane.

My husband says I am nesting. I don't know WHAT he's talking about. Do you? :)

I can't move into a new house unless we fix this one. I know it will take about a year of work to even show our 967 sq ft. townhome. By the time I want to sell it, seven people will live here! So I'm going to do a real good job on the first impression thing, where they walk in the door. The bedrooms may never be viewable.

That being said, this started with us wanting to remove all carpet downstairs. So I bought that awesome laminate at Costco for just over a dollar a square foot on sale. YES! So glad I did.

But then we looked up and said, "I hate popcorn ceilings." We figured if we were going to empty the room anyway, let's do that. So this weekend, our construction guy neighbor and his buddy are going to come remove them, only downstairs. And haul all the garbage away, too. I really don't mind paying them for that at all. Especially since it might be 90 degrees this weekend.

Then we decided to think about paint. In all 10 years of marriage, we have never painted. Never lived anywhere long enough! So here we go... can't wait to show you pics!

And the kitchen counter. We need to rewire and put in a new sink and counter. Exciting!! The best part is, we don't appear to be fighting much over choices. Thank goodness. I hear some people get really stuck on this stuff, but we're not! So far so good! I guess we're both so happy that we even are talking about this stuff and have some extra money to pay for it with (not for long), we just keep going til we agree.

Like baby names.... sigh.

So the order of things is as follows:
Popcorn ceilings: this weekend, maybe next weekend, too.
After they are done, wall painting, only downtairs.
When the walls are done: install laminate
Clean and repaint grout in tile in doorway. Can replace next year.
Have Lowe's come in and do counter and sink. I need my kitchen, can't spend a couple days on it. Well, I could, but I REALLY don't want to, and I don't want to mess it up.
Put in new linoleum in kitchen/laundry room.

This all costs about $700 except the kitchen counter sink part. That's the part that might easily double the bill. But it's not your 20K makeover, that's for darn sure! :)

Before and after pics to follow. We hope to have this all done by August 15th. Thank goodness this is the last week of night shift, and then we can actually work on this together after work!! Yay!

Conscience Clause

2009-07-23T07:54:00.000-07:00

Very important.

http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/new.php?n=16636

We're about to see whether Obama really does lie or not, because he said he supported conscience clauses. Nurses are often treated rotten by doctors, but this really beats all. How do I know this? My mom and my MIL are/were both RN's. My mom had me in a hospital about 90 mins or more away from the one she worked in because the one she worked in started doing abortions almost as soon as Roe vs. Wade was decided. She did not want those doctors touching me.

This kind of thing is like if you were a prison guard, doing your normal job, and then they said, "Hey, firing squad execution at high noon, or we'll find someone else to take your job!" It's insane, because other nurses would have done that job. What were they trying to prove? I'm so glad she's suing them, but if the new health plan Obama is pushing includes abortion for all and no conscience clause, many doctors and nurses will be trying to get different careers. After all that school (and debt), hard work and expertise, they will not do abortions, and if that means not being a medical professional, then that is that. Horrible. Entire hospitals may close. But no one has seen the fine print yet, and Mr. Obama did address it, so it is in the media where you can see what he said. We can reform our health system without fully funding abortion, one would think.

http://www.lifenews.com/nat5189.html

A new financial "crisis"

2009-07-16T22:17:00.000-07:00

I've seen more and more news finally in this direction, and I find it fascinating. Here is a video a friend shared with me, and I think it's worth watching. I didn't realize how it all ties in, and how many people are getting uncomfortable with the way all the money and people are tied together. This is not something that can be blamed on one political party or another, it's been going on since the Federal Reserve was created. But now, we can find out. Modern technology is indeed a double-edged sword.

This reminds me of how FDR was able to use a wheelchair most of the time because of polio, and almost no one in the country knew it, unless they worked at the White House itself. No kidding. But because tv was brand new, he could hide it rather well. Obviously a lot of people were not quite the gossip-mongers we have now, also. It's kind of fun to think how magically, he didn't look like he had any physical problems.

But it's also a kind of black magic, what the Fed appears to be doing. Oh dear. Hand caught in cookie jar, anyone?

Thanks for the video, Casey.

A girl!

2009-07-16T22:14:00.000-07:00

Sorry, yes, we are having a girl! Yay girls! Grace probably won't let me hold her. I have no idea what we will name her. I guess it's very odd for me to imagine having another girl five years after the first one. I'm very happy about it, though. It's very, very neat. I love girl clothes and the kids are very excited about another baby. This baby will be 9.5 years younger than the oldest child. Wow. Just like my husband and his brother, and nearly as much as myself and my youngest sister.

I think we just hit "large family" status. Big time.
They all still fit in the Sienna, man. Just sayin'.

Here we are again

2009-07-14T14:52:00.000-07:00

We came back from a glorious time on Whidbey Island at a wonderful B and B, and enjoyed the town very much. We drove a lot, and we also ended the weekend with a trip to Lowe's to decide on paint samples. Yay us!

I will download pics, really. I know I always say that. I'll do it fairly soon. This week is kinda busy, but believe it or not, we pulled this all off from this weekend! We even introduced our child-swapping friends to the idea of doing this every six months, and they were more than a little excited at the prospect. Overnights twice a year?? Wow. We have ARRIVED!

Let's see... Oh, we did have the ultrasound. Currently I am waiting for more guesses on Facebook before I tell everyone. Then I will tell you all, too. It's very exciting!

:)

My Domestic Church

2009-07-11T21:17:00.001-07:00

is never organized.

Like you didn't know that.

Anyway, this article gives me some more direction. I'd like to find it, and I think I'm getting there, slowly. Too much social time til Wednesday, but then I can get back to work. I do know what I'm going to do next, at least: paint. And I can hardly wait!

I hope you enjoy this article. I absolutely love this magazine, and I highly, highly recommend it for every Catholic family, or anyone else raising a family who doesn't mind reading an unabashadly Catholic family magazine.

Enjoy!

http://www.faithandfamilylive.com/features/simplify_your_domestic_church

Phew.

2009-07-10T14:50:00.000-07:00

Ok, I think next week will work.

And on Tuesday, we should know if it is a boy or a girl. But...

we may or may not tell you.

Bwah ha ha ha!

Ok, on with the to-do list.

July:

Finish up camps, establish chores/money system for kids, check in with M. to see which fifth grade books I lent her/she lent me/no one remembers but they are available for homeschooling next year. Then order what I don't have from Emmanuel Books.

Step on husband til he cries "uncle" and makes an appt. with an immigration lawyer, now that we have the money for that and would like to try that ciitzenship thing out. For those who don't know, the husband person is not American. He's Canadian. His green card is good til 2014, but do you see any plans that have us moving to Canada? I don't. And he hasn't lived there since his freshman year of college. Time to live where one pays taxes and join one's family.

Choose paint colors. We have laminate flooring from Costco, but like most projects, this one is being put off til we do "something else", and for me, that's painting the walls. We had great friends over the other day who brought six library books with them to look at what we liked and didn't like. We got to a picture that reminded me of the Olive Garden, and we both liked it. Tuscan colors! Not exactly a theme, but a direction. At last, we have agreement. Now to follow through. The main color will probably be a pale yellow, the laundry/bathroom blue, and one red wall in the living room. Dark red, no pink!

Continue long process of throwing stuff out we don't need and reorganizing.

August:

Plan to visit parents some weekend, probably the first one.
Watch kids overnight for their parents' anniversary.
Go overnight camping to what we call a "Redneck Party". It is really fun in someone's very large back yard. Watch out mosquitos, here we come!

Plan school year a little better. Plan whole family life around new shift starting at end of July. Re-work budget if necessary.

Exercise more now that dh has stopped night shift in favor of much more normal "first shift" hours and days of the week. This will last til October. The good news is, whatever shift he gets after that will have a whole month taken out of it for vacation when the baby comes. Ha ha! He will get out of a probably not great shift just by having a baby! Yay! His work gives him a paid month off. This is very worth celebrating.

August should include applying for citizenship, painting if we haven't finished yet, installing the floors, replacing the kitchen counter and sink, and touching up the downstairs with moulding. Then I will call this a successful home improvement summer.

Oh, and I should start contacting students from Mother of Divine Grace School starting at the end of August. My year off is almost over... better get my brain back in gear!

What a good year this is. Hooray!

Here I am

2009-07-10T14:25:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while again. I had lots of things to write about and post. LOTS. I mean, the news is so very interesting all the time! But I'd be here all day, and well, summer is a good time to Get. Stuff. Done. And I'm attempting to do that.

First of all: HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY TO US!

That said, today my husband is sleeping, because he works nights. He will sleep tomorrow also, and part of the next day. I've decided one of the best presents he can get is to stay asleep as much as possible before we go anywhere fun, so we will have. fun. Not fight or something stupid. So I haven't seen him today. I will see him for about two hours before he goes to work tonight.
I'm very glad we are still happily married. Score for us!

Wanna see our schedule til Wednesday? Wanna? You know you do.

Today, Friday, July 10th: The Pope and Obama met, and I'm glad to hear it went pretty darned well. I also read that the Pope "fired" the guys who screwed things up royally as he was trying welcome some traditionalists back into the Catholic Church, and it turned into a horrible fiasco, and everyone blamed the Pope. I certainly hope they found the right culprits. I think this was a good thing?

In our own lives, I got all the stuff Rikki and I have been collecting for two months and piling in her garage, and drove it to another home, which will be part of a neighborhood yard sale this weekend. We are very, very glad to purge our homes, especially in the case of Rikki, who has a little too much Mary Kay in her closet for her own good. Now she has a closet back, and some people can pick up some very good gifts for people at low prices tomorrow. I managed to get all that stuff out, with only one stuffed animal making it back in the car. Not bad.

Now they are sleeping, and I am putting off doing anything useful. That's what blogging is for. A to do list is good, so I will do that at the end here.
This evening we might go to the splash park since it's hot, and we ran out of time today before nap.

Tomorrow: Bring treats to yard sale by 9am, maybe help set up unless other people already did. Leave with my kids to go get the oldest, one hour away, at scout camp. He should be dog tired. Hopefully not too cranky after three nights away.
Then come back and help at yard sale til it's over. Help kids sell lemonade and other treats. Go home, collapse. Be glad the word "anniversary" resulted in not having in laws over yet again this weekend. I'm sure some day they will actually see us, but this wasn't necessarily the right weekend.

Sunday: Church. Pack like mad for kids to spend night at friends so we can go on anniversary overnight, which is a surprise for my husband. He knows the when, but not the where. Leave them at said house by 4pm or so. Go enjoy selves and complete sentences.

Monday: Enjoy selves. Hope things go well. You see, I just found out today that soccer camp is THIS day, not next week. But I just signed them up for Vacation Bible School At. The. Same. Time. Dude, not fair. I had this planned at least a month ago. AAGH! I think it will work, and I'm glad our friends love us, because it may or may not take a few people to pull this off. I can't immediately get ahold of the people watching our kids, because they are out of town. I did call and email, so hopefully that will help. Honestly, this is such a huge screw up, but I dare not put off this overnight, or it will never happen. Besides, the family in question will get me back in August. Go right ahead, guys!
That night, we should come home in one piece, and again, collapse.

Tuesday: Soccer camp, not VBS. Oh crap. I have an ultrasound at 9:30. I just realized this. I think I can get someone to help me with this too, it's just a teensy bit more complicated than I anticipated, and I already moved the ultrasound. This is getting downright comical.
Then I will pay back said savior by watching her kids while they have a very important appt. having to do with fostering small beings. So she will get me back, too.

See? What comes around always goes around, doesn't it?
WHAT have I DONE?

Ok, new post for the to do list. Must call savior on Tuesday and chat now.
Have a super weekend everybody!

Two more links from that last conversation

2009-07-02T16:35:00.000-07:00

Here is one link, which supposedly debunks Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed.

http://www.expelledexposed.com/

When I read parts of it, I did agree that maybe the interviewing was misleading. But it led me to two more questions.
1. If Ben Stein had been up front about what he was interviewing these folks about, would they have allowed the interview?
2. Even if he wasn't a good interviewer, they still said the things they said. Do they believe them or not? And if they do, why are they mad they got caught?

The second link is a video about how the "science" of climate change was co-opted by politics. If government funds climatology only if there is a problem, then sometimes, people will invent a problem so they can keep their job, right? This film is AMAZING. Please watch it. It is an hour, but it raises questions. My liberal friends tell me it's been debunked. I think it's been disagreed with. "Debunked" is a very trendy word these days.

And they tell me science politics both need to be separated from religion. How about politics and science??

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=288952680655100870

See? This is why I have these conversations!

Cap and Trade news

2009-07-01T07:51:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a while, since we were camping. I will wait for Rikki to send me pics before I post them. She took them all. See, she brought a husband. It kind of helps with the hands not full thing. And I was just to blasted tired to care. But the kids had a great time. The husband was sad not to see more pics. That's ok, Rikki made up for it, and unlike me, she actually downloads her pics.

I posted something or other on the Cap and Trade bill on my facebook, and it resulted in a lively discussion and a few interesting links. Honestly, I don't know what to think ultimately. I'm very leery of government control, and wonder if this kind of environmentalism has resulted in a convenient government ploy for several governments, not just ours. Since when has science, true, lasting science, been based on consensus? And political approval? And tenure and funding? If you have no idea what I mean, please watch the movie Expelled with Ben Stein, for an introduction. It poses some really good questions.

Honestly, the world is probably going to stay about the way it is no matter what we do, and we should stop littering, duh. But why are we punishing countries who actually try to be more environmentally sound and give a mostly free pass to "developing" nations? Someone want to send me a link on that?

This all said, we did buy a Prius. Ha ha ha!

Here are the links:

From my die hard liberal friend Scott:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emissions_trading

http://www.sightline.org/research/energy/res_pubs/cap-and-trade-101

From my nearby and conservative Ron Paul friend Casey:

http://www.petitionproject.org/gw_article/Review_Article_HTML.php

Home news update

2009-06-26T07:12:00.000-07:00

Hi Y'all,

Well, I'm off to go camping this weekend til Monday night, but my dh will be here sleeping. We have a baptism to attend at the rather unholy hour of 7:30 am followed by breakfast, then off we go into the mountains of WA tomorrow. Hooray! We're meeting several other families up there for s'mores and camping for two nights, and lots of time at the lake. Today is packing day.

We also bought a car. YES! We have two cars now! It has been six years since we had two healthy, working cars. This is beyond cool. My husband has a 2010 Prius III now, and that gets 50 mi/gal. on his long commute to work and back. And now I can go where I want, when I want. Finally!

I really don't want to pack. But I guess I'd better. Time almost to start the day. Oddly, it's 7:15 and only one child is up, and it's not the youngest. Only on days when I'd like to get in that room, of course. Oh, wait, I hear another one! Time to make breakfast!

Have a super weekend!

Obama's birth certificate

2009-06-25T07:31:00.000-07:00

Strange how this just doesn't go away. Obviously he proved his citizenship to SOMEONE, or paid them off, in order to become president. But I don't know why he won't make this go away. He writes folks off as kooks instead of explaining it. I know I have to prove more than this just to drive 3 hours north of here... to Canada with my kids.

Current status report:

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=101892

Fatherhood post

2009-06-21T17:43:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day!

We need more "real men". Please father your boys as such!

If your children don't see their father, find someone nearly equivalent to fill in the gap!

http://donotbediscouraged.blogspot.com/2009/06/thoughts-on-fatherhood.html

I got a blog award.... but I have to work for it!

2009-06-20T06:56:00.001-07:00

Holly, at Scattering Agates, has awarded me my very first blog award. Awwww.... :) Thanks, Holly!

Holly and I went to college together and she has a blog I need to check to ground myself once in a while. Really good reflections on falling down, getting up, and trying harder in the Christian-Catholic life as a wife and mom. Holly likes mine, because she likes the material, but it's not really her style to post it. So we help each other out!

So, these are the rules from what she posted:

If I sent you the Honest Scrap Blog Award, here are the guidelines:

1) Say thanks and give a link to the presenter of the award.
2) Share "ten honest things" about myself.
3) Present this award to 7 others whose blogs I find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged me.
4) Tell those 7 people that they've been awarded HONEST SCRAP and inform them of these guidelines in receiving it.

Ten Honest Things About Myself:

1. I love being Catholic and cannot imagine giving it up. Ever. World Youth Day 1993 has something to do with that.
2. Honesty is one of my favorite attributes. Fairness is another one. And yes, I am a Libra. If you want to see me mad, do something really unfair.
3. I never thought I was going to have more than, say, three kids. But I have to say, five doesn't look that much harder, and I'm glad we're going there.
4. My home is really California, strange a place as it is. But since my ultimate home is Heaven, I can call WA my home, also. Sorry, Oregon, you never really were home to me.
5. I love my husband dearly, and am very, very glad I married him 10 years ago on July 10th.
6. I always love my family, but sometimes I don't like them very much.
7. I vascillate between lazy and frenetic cleaning periods at our house. Maybe that's why it looks like a tornado went through it most of the time.
8. I'm thankful for being close to dirt poor at times, and for all our woes we have gone through, because I have learned what it's like to be poor and also how to manage my money before I have any (thank you, www.daveramsey.com). God knew I needed to learn that a few times before I got it right, and so I thank Him. It is only on reflection that one sees the hand of God.
9. I am enjoying these next ten years or so to the fullest, because I can foresee another stage of life that is not nearly as fun -- high school/college aged children and aging parents. It will be more difficult, and my life is so good right now, I want to enjoy every single moment.
10. My family fits surprisingly well into 967 sq. ft. They even like each other. Most days.

Ok, now for the seven other blogs:

The Common Room
http://www.heartkeepercommonroom.blogspot.com/ It was the first, and the best. I check it every day.

The Pioneer Woman
http://thepioneerwoman.com/ So much good stuff, and reminds me of my childhood on a ranch. Not nearly as big of a ranch, but I do get it when a cow's uterus falls out. Been there for that one!

The McKillip Klan

http://www.mckillipklan.typepad.com/ This family is one I corrected papers for a while back, and we became friends. They are a neat family, on a farm in Colorado. They've been having an AWFUL weather year, so please pray for them and their mom's sanity!

Stoney Creek Digest
http://culbreath.wordpress.com/
We met through a recommendation from the first blog, and then last year we met in person. I don't always agree with Jeff, but he sure does make you think. His family is loverly, and we dearly enjoyed our meeting. They took us to our first Latin Mass in Chico, CA of all places. Let's just say Chico State is not known for it's Masses! And since it was nearby, I just thought that was funny.

Gladdest Hours

http://houseofgallus.typepad.com/cedarsandroses/
Suzanne is a lovely person in person, too! She focuses on the Liturgical Year, and how to celebrate it. It's just wonderful. Her site has soooo many links, you could be there all day.

Who Says 8 Is Enough?
http://bouffard11.blogspot.com/
I adore this blog, but don't check it as much anymore. She's just amazing. Watch the video of how their family came to be. It's partly by birth, partly by adoption, and she keeps basically a scrapbook online. It also links to lots of other blogs, many of which are about adoption, christian families, and multiples. The slideshow at the beginning is a must, did I mention that?

Sardonic Catholic Dad
http://sardoniccatholicdad.blogspot.com/ This guy reminds me to have a sense of humor. Seriously, I love this blog, and it's good for the guys out there. I think the next baby makes an even dozen kids. He lives in NJ, I think. He's very honest, and that's a nice thing to see in a PC world. So funny, it might be sinful.

Now I have to contact all these people?? Holly, why, oh why did you do this to me? :)

Have fun, peeps!

Defending Anti-Catholic free speech

2009-06-19T08:15:00.000-07:00

Urr, you say???

Well, it was a good article, that makes a good point.

http://insidecatholic.com/Joomla/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=6254&Itemid=48

What I've Been Reading

2009-06-18T08:42:00.000-07:00

I really should name a new blog that name, but I think what I will do instead is just start doing that as often as I remember. The problem is that I read at night, and I blog in the morning. But I will start with one quote from a Little House on the Prairie book.

It's the last one -- The First Four Years. It takes place in the late 1800's, when Laura and her husband Almanzo "Manly" Wilder, were first married. She had said she'd not marry a farmer because she was tired of the constant state of not knowing if they'd survive from year to year. She was 18 when they married. They had a little girl, Rose, and then a boy, who died when he was weeks old. She was never able to have more children, and Rose did not have any children either, it turns out.

In any case, there is a part of the book where they are made an offer of a herd of sheep. They figure it's a good investment, because you can always sell wool, they have a place to graze them, and they are working with a relative who will keep an eye on them. It does turn out well, but get a load of the reason why the owner of the sheep sold them in the first place! I cracked up!!!

Cousin Peter came one Sunday to tell Manly and Laura that Mr. Whitehead wanted to sell his sheep, a hundred purebred Shropshires.

A presidential election was coming in the fall, and it looked as though the Democrats were due to win. If they did, Mr. Whitehead, being a good Republican, was sure the country would be ruined. The tariff would be taken off, and wool and sheep would be worth nothing. Peter was sure they could be bought at a bargain.

They ended up splitting the cost with cousin Peter, at two dollars per sheep, and wool nearly paid for them the next year. In addition, the sheep all had lambs, and the herd nearly doubled in size in one year.

I think I'd call that a wise investment, and proof that fear is not good for anyone.

California Farmers

2009-06-16T20:53:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the Common Room and Ragamuffin Studies blogs, we have the following video. This is very, very important.

Putting a whole huge area of CA and of the US out of business over a minnow, whose endangered species status sounds questionable? I think the Ragamuffin blogger is right. She brings up some very good points about evolution and politics. Smart lady.

We're all connected.

Shopping List for you!

2009-06-13T12:47:00.000-07:00

This website has SO MUCH on it. This is just the kitchen part.

At the very, very bottom, you will see that you can click on and download your very own shopping list. I have used this for a long time, because it remembers what I buy, and then I just drag it over and add it to my list. Isn't that neat? You can add all the prices, too, if you want.

I am too lazy to do this, but I might do it now. You never know.

I think you will all really like this. No need to re-invent your list all the time.

http://www.thehomeschoolmom.com/kitchen/

Last weekend, with pictures!

2009-06-13T08:19:00.000-07:00

It's time for a camera download, isn't it?

I guess we could do a summary of May and June. Well, late May, anyway. This first one is Dominic's second birthday. Happy Birthday Dude!

This is what we did to our dining room floor. Our carpet was SO GROSS. We'll do the whole downstairs in pergo this summer sometime, but this dining room is the direct path between our front and back doors, as well as where kids drop all their food on the floor, and even my neighbor who cleans carpets said he wouldn't clean it again, just get rid of it.

So we did. Thanks Cathy!!

We went to Joe and Christina's wedding in Portland, OR a week ago. We got a much better picture of my husband and our friend Fr. Jeff Meeuwsen than we did of the bride and groom. He was concelebrating, since we all went to GU together, and it was super great to see him. He offered to hear our confessions, but do you know how weird that would be? I should have had him do our son's, but it was a wedding, and man, those are crazy days, don'tcha know.

Here is the bride and groom, for lack of better pics. We were hushing our children. Both older boys got to be greeters and I got to be a eucharistic minister. Yay us! Way easier than being a bridesmaid. Phew!

This is the inside of the dome, inside The Grotto, in Portland. This is where we went to Mass last Sunday. It is gorgeous, and if you want to see more pics, google it. It's just beautiful in real life. We took a picture of all the bronze statues of the Stations of the Cross which are outside on a trail. We said an Our Father in front of each one. The kids loved it, and the Mass was just gorgeous. I also found out that our Lola is not the only one who gives kids candy to shut them up at Mass. Apparently most Filipino grandmas do this without asking, even if you've never met them. Huh. Interesting.

We went to see my parents in Astoria, OR, and we also went to see the "down the driveway" neighbors, who always have the animals we didn't. We had horses and dogs and cats, and sometimes sheep or goats. These guys have goats and smaller. They are a fun, unschooling family whose kids sometimes go to school. One of them just graduated. Only one out of five to go! They are all doing just awesome. Did I ever mention the one who couldn't read til he was 13 is now working on a PhD in something to do with optical lasers in Florida? Well, he is.

Anyway, here is their trampoline, and this shows how enormously big this one goat is.

This is Flash. He's about 25 now, but I first met him when I was 13 and my friend who was the age I am now owned him and gave me English riding lessons in return for feeding him in the morning before I went to school. He is getting a bit rickety now, but he's happy. She couldn't take care of him anymore, so he's been at my folks' house for years now.

Here are videos of each of the kids on Flash. His registered name is "Chromed Perfection". That cracks me up. Most registered names of dogs and horses crack me up. My old horse, Sebastian, was "Mon Sebastian BD" Ha ha ha. My dad said the BD stood for Bad Dude. No doubt! :) His brains didn't fit in one horse body! Naughty, naughty horsie.

By the way, last November, Dominic wouldn't get on. Now, I can't get him off!

I don't know why I didn't get a Grace video, but I didn't. Here's her cute little self anyway.

And finally, my new facebook picture:

balancing out the blame game -- Holocaust Museum shooting

2009-06-12T21:14:00.000-07:00

I think folks should read this and compare it to commentary on cable news. It's so weird how everything bad that happens is somehow connected to "right wing extremists". Who are those people, anyway? Can't we just call crazy people CRAZY?

Both this guy and the Tillman killer are NUT JOBS. But to hear the news tell it, anyone with a pro-life sticker on the back of their car is likely to do something similar. I'm so done with the news lying and lying. Teach people to educate themselves, please!!

Here's a good link to explain a crazy person.

http://www.frontpagemag.com/readArticle.aspx?ARTID=35192

Peter Schiff -- Comedy Central

2009-06-12T20:51:00.000-07:00

My DH and another friend both found this online and put it up on their facebook pages. I stole it, fair and square. I do love Jon Stewart. This is really worth watching. As much as Bill O'Reilly does not recommend getting your news from Comedy Central, well, I can see why they do! It's better than CNN, that's for darn sure. And MSNBC should just implode for pure shame.

I did, by the way, hear exactly this on NPR about 3-4 years ago. I was driving through a town near here, I remember where I was, because I thought, I have got to remember I heard this. I have to remember. I hope they're wrong, but they say this collapse will happen in about two years, starting with subprime mortgages. I can't remember who the speaker was, but she did mention Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac being in trouble.

It's not like nobody knew. It's just that nobody wanted to hear. Fingers in ears!!
And people just keep stuffing more cotton in their ears. So much important being said, but not reported. Except on really good blogs.

Sigh.

Enjoy!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Peter Schiff

thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Newt Gingrich Unedited Interview

Some people just make us look bad... :)

2009-06-12T20:46:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday, Mr. President. Way to inspire!

I fixed the link

2009-06-11T07:48:00.000-07:00

Ok, John L. Scott lets me do things better with houses. I just like the map you can use on Windermere's site. The post below is fixed so that now you can see my dream fixer house on almost an acre. Anyone? Anyone? Then I can come visit you!

Another house to drool over

2009-06-10T15:02:00.001-07:00

I really like this one. If I knew I could sell mine, I think I'd go for it. Seriously. Just what we need, if only not so much work.

http://www.johnlscott.com/propertydetail.aspx?GroupID=200436689&ListingID=300207835&Sort=0

Oh well, I'm sure the right thing will come up when the time is right. Hopefully this summer we're going to revamp the one we have just a bit.

I really need to go make cookies for tonight's Rosary night. I also have to go to the scout office to get things for my new Tiger and Webelos, because we're having a meeting tomorrow already! AAGH! To get us started, you understand. Ok, you guys, no more meetings til Sept, got it?

I am REALLY TIRED from this weekend's galavanting around to a wedding, then my parents' house. We had a wonderful time, and are very happy to be home. Dominic had his first horsie ride. Last November, I couldn't get him up there. This time, I couldn't get him off. Seriously. He was going to camp up there til tomorrow. This horse is not a pony, either. His back is above my head. Dominic was in heaven.

I will post pics when my brain returns. Now to bake cookies.

Homeschool Socialization tennis

2009-06-05T09:12:00.001-07:00

The Common Room posted a thingy on socialization today, which happens about once a month. We homeschoolers hear a lot about socialization. I could go on and on, but let me link you to this discussion. Some people lost their tempers, but others were very, very thoughtful. I'm linking to the original post here:
http://teacherrevised.org/2009/05/30/the-case-against-homeschooling/

And here is my favorite response. The second half of her reply is most interesting:

Mom2Many
June 1, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Jessica, Jessica, Jessica. Your blog is a prime example of why soooo many parents homeschool. Let me take this comment by comment.

10. How many colleges have you worked at? None? Didn’t think so. I have and as a registrar and having done screening for several programs plus done outreach at public and private schools getting kids into college, I have yet to hear comments such as your’s. I’ve heard, as have the homeschooled kids I’ve helped, “wow, wish I could have been homeschooled.” Now, I have heard geeks/nerds who came out of public schools and private schools mocked and bullied for being geeks/nerds. Seems to be a “normal” part of the “socialization” process of public/private schools. Surely you aren’t too old to remember that and surely you see it on a daily basis if you teach at a school.

9. Well, call me unrealistic but I think people who voice opinions about where classrooms are should actually have some experience about the subject they are talking about. Yes, *some* families use the kitchen table. And, yes, *some* families may use the family/livingroom to study in. HOWEVER, so do public/private schooled kids to do their homework. Are you saying that studying shouldn’t be done in these rooms? Or only by homeschoolers?

8. Now, you say you are college educated. I don’t know this to be a fact but, IF you are then you have to have been in school for at least 17 years. Over all those years you should have learned two things: do your OWN homework, and polls, surveys and statistics say exactly what the person doing the poll, survey or crunching numbers for statistics want them to say. A poll, survey or statistic is only as good as what went into them. Surely you know that.

7. “(Personally I’m agnostic, but I’m just saying…)” Nah, what you were doing there was being obnoxious, sarcastic and making a fool of yourself.

6. All that going to college proves is that you went to college. It certainly doesn’t prove you can teach whether you majored in a subject or not. If this were true then schools wouldn’t be failing the children of America! It is pure unadulterated arrogance for people to think simply because they went to school longer than someone else that they are better at doing something than someone else.

5. Ah, see #7 above.

4. Hmmmm, interesting concept except it’s pure conjecture. However, we do know that public schools breed hate. We do know that private schools are havens of intolerance and the elitist “we’re better than *them*” thinking. Are you perhaps projecting what you’ve seen in private schools?

3. Again, besides a brain fart, what are you basing this on? We get that you are ignorant of and biased against homeschooling. However, as a supposed educator shouldn’t you practice what public/private schools preach — do you homework, do your homework, do your homework. For 13 years public/private schooled kids have some adult standing over their shoulders or standing at the front of a classroom pounding them with “do your homework.” Ah, could I suggest you practice what you preach!

2. Do you really teach? You quote *one* person’s *opinion.* And opinion, might I add, loaded with qualifiers of “probably,” “might,” etc. Sorry, so far I see a failing grade on this particular blog.

AND, as far a playing Russian roulette with a child’s future, ah, take a look at the report cards on schools. Take a look at the Department of Justice stats on abuse in public/private schools BY teachers. Take a look at the stats on the potential to be sexually abused in public/private schools. Take a look at the potential for a child to fail who comes out of a public/private school.

1. “And finally, well,” I think you lie. Sorry, I really don’t think you have met many, if any, homeschoolers.

Now, as to your answers to others and your blog in general, as an English teacher, or so you say, it is frightening that you didn’t head for your dictionary before you wrote this blog (geek: a carnival performer who does disgusting acts; eccentric: a person with an unusual or odd personality (Princeton); or Geek is a common term for someone who is obsessed by their computer, and has achieved a high level of expertise in their chosen area (Science Technology glossary); short for computer geek, an individual with a passion for computers; a term similar to nerd). I would think a mother could easily tell if her child was a geek.

BTW, you “get” an education. You “are” homeschooled.

Now, if you are doing a survey, I have homeschooled my children, my nieces and nephews and a couple of dozen “throw away” children that came in all ages, sizes, colors, ethnic groups and races. I am a minority. I am not rich. I’m not a college graduate and I’ve done a better job with the “throw away” kids my children brought home than the public schools they had all dropped out of did. All the kidlets learned Spanish, Italian, French, German (won an award in German poetry) and/or Russian (none of which I speak), sign language, biology, economics, history, chemistry, government, physical science, English (they won Young Writers Awards in national competitions), dance, art, sewing (won many awards and Best in Show), ag (won many Grand Champions), riding (won hundreds upon hundreds of local, state and national awards and championships), auto mechanics, auto body work. Most of them read all of Shakespeare. At least half read War and Peace. They are all proficient using the computer. Oh, and sports — basketball, baseball, football, softball, gymnastics, soccer, tennis and the list goes on and on and on.

Each and every single one of these children were, dare I say, . . . Perhaps you should sit down before you read any further. ALL of the kidlets were UNschooled. Yup, they never sat down around the table from 8 to 3. They were never required to study anything. They all wanted to learn and learn they did. Each and every single one that wanted to go to college went to college. Each and every single one of them that wanted to learn a marketable skill did so. They have gone to community colleges, four-year colleges and universities. Why, even universities in other countries. They have apprenticed. They now manage companies or own their own companies. They are in the Marines and in the Navy. They are accountants and special ed teachers and work with the developmentally disabled.

My house was filled, on a daily basis, with public, private and charter schooled children. Their graduation parties were held at my house because their schools wouldn’t allow them to have a party. My *homeschooled* children went to public school proms. Many went to proms at multiple schools which they couldn’t have done if they were public schooled. They all did volunteer work. They are all politically savy, active and vote. And, before you jump, not necessarily the way I would want them to.

I don’t know where you got your notion that homeschoolers don’t socialize unless what you mean is that they aren’t locked up in an artificial environment where their only social interaction is with children of the same age. Or you define socialization as learning to bully or be bullied. Or you define socialization as being beat into submission where they have to have permission to use the bathroom.

In fact, while I’m thinking about, my life would have been a bit more peaceful if there had been less socialization! Not that I’m really complaining but facts are facts.

Lots and lots of interesting discussion here! I enjoyed it, but I really must move on with my day and write a grocery list now.

Have a wonderful weekend!

A pro-life awesome dude! ... and of course, Tianmen Square Anniversary

2009-06-04T09:50:00.000-07:00

I saw this link on a homeschooling loop today. Wow. This guy is awesome!

http://www.catholicvoiceoakland.org/09-05-25/frontpage1.htm

Also, today is the 20th anniversary of the massacre at Tianamen Square. To this day, no one knows for sure what happened, except the people who were there. They are not allowed to talk, so we may never know, unless someday China tells us, or someone smuggles something out of the country. The fear is so great, it appears many children in China do not know what happened. 20 somethings say, "Something happened, but I don't know what. Some sort of clash about capitalism and communism maybe?" No really, I read this. I think it was in Newsweek or something.

AGH!

I was only 12 at the time. I remember that year because it was quite a year. At roughly the same time, Russia because Russia again, not the USSR I grew up with. The Berlin Wall came down, and there was once again one Germany, and not two.
ISN'T THAT MIND-BLOWING?? Seriously? I barely remember the Cold War, but it was a big deal! Now people don't even care.

It so does not surprise me how fast history repeats itself. People are just not paying attention.

When I was in 4th grade, I had a pen pal from the USSR, probably Vladivostok, since that was our sister city. We were told as a class that we should not be surprised if not all of our letter got to our pen pal, because the mail would be intercepted, and authorities would black out what they didn't want people to know. I have no idea what we could have said. I imagine a trip to Disneyland would be verboten? I don't know. We were also told that pencils with erasers were like gold to these kids. We were told how lucky we were. And we were! And still are! So far....

In any case, here is a link to wikipedia, explaining what we know of what happened 20 years ago in China.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiananmen_Square_massacre

Free speech is so important. Even hate speech. Because anything can be construed as hate speech if you start that slippery slope. We must hold tight to free speech, the right to bear arms, and work on our education. The school systems are teaching us to be ashamed of our country, and they are wrong. But people believe it and don't know history. Always check out the facts from differing points of view. It is so very important, and getting more so as people get more vitriolic in their views, and use their brains less.

God Bless America, where at least I know I'm free, to coin a phrase from a song.

interesting ideas on liberalism

2009-05-31T12:27:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to pass this along.

I've met Jeff, and I like him, though sometimes we disagree. He has a great wife and family, and I hope to see them soon.

Here are his thoughts on some odd catch 22's liberals may now find themselves in, though I don't think they stop to realize it.

http://culbreath.wordpress.com/2009/05/31/liberalism-education-and-affluence/#comment-4705

And by the way, have a wonderful Pentecost! May God bless you and breathe the Holy Spirit into all the depths of your soul!

Strange premonition

2009-05-28T06:46:00.000-07:00

I was sleeping this morning (of course), and at about 6am, Dominic woke me up and I changed his diaper and put him back in there. Thank goodness, it appears he went back to sleep.

Either before or after that, I had a sort of prayerful dream thingy. I guess I was wondering about the news, and I'd just had a really weird facebook conversation in which I was informed that religious people all suffer mental pain, even if they don't know it, and religion hurts everyone. That was annoying. That conversation may or may not be still running. It's taking a lot of diplomacy on my end. Sometimes that level of patience is worth it. I like to think it's always worth it. Sometimes I'm not so sure.

So this dream thing included my thought that it was somewhat odd that Obama was taking so long to appoint the ambassador to the Vatican. I thought, you know, he really should pick a university professor, but one from, say, Benedictine, Ave Maria, or TAC. Or Fr. Spitzer, who is currently leaving Gonzaga. He would have been perfect!

Then this morning, one of the first things I saw was that he had indeed picked a professor. He picked a liberation theologian. Oh dear. But we do need someone who can talk to both sides and be taken seriously. Maybe this guy is it, maybe he's not, but it will be interesting to see what the Vatican says. Personally, I was beginning to wonder if Mr. Obama was going to sever diplomatic ties with the Vatican or something, it was taking so long. Here's the initial news report on this guy:

http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/new.php?n=16129

I also find his appointment for the Supreme Court very, very interesting. So far, I kind of like her, but we'll see. If she is a strict constitutionalist like she says she is, then that's better than I had hoped for from Obama. Time will tell. She is rather perplexing.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/05/27/sotomayor.problems/index.html

My beef lately is that he appoints quite a few Catholics to important positions, but they are all liberal Catholics. The implication for me is that we're going to teach this country that only certain kinds of morality fly, and you can only be successful if you think a certain way. If you think like a conservative pro-life religious person, someone who goes to church every week, there is something wrong with you. More and more people are seeing this as their example, and it's going to make ridicule, and dare I say, bigotry, of Christians the way to go. The irony is completely missed! I mean they just don't see it! It's so weird!

This is partly why I stay on Facebook. If there are people out there who normally have no contact with reasonable conservatives, but they know me, then they know that the talking heads on tv who regularly shout down their guests are not really the norm. I know, that should be obvious to people. But how many people really understand that? If they go to work 40-60 hours a week, are surrounded by people who think like them at work, then come home and only watch certain tv channels, why would they think any other way? So in my own way, I am also an ambassador to the Vatican. My people are important, and they have brains. They are often too busy doing good in the world to be noticed or to toot their own horn, but they are so very important to the fabric of society.

The whole point of what I'm trying to say can be summed up right here, at
Ragamuffin Studies. This lady is smart, and she gets my point completely right. And she also brings up what our governnment is up to.

It's a good thing the weather is good lately. Sometimes I really need to get out there in God's creation and remember, this life is just a blip on the radar of eternity, and eternity is what I can hardly wait for. What wonders and joy await! Sometimes that's hard to remember, but that is really the point, isn't it?

Boonville, CA

2009-05-24T14:27:00.001-07:00

Every once in a while, I get a hankerin' to go home. Not Astoria, OR. Albion, CA is my real home. I have a hope of getting there this summer, but that depends on a number of factors, not the least among them money, and pregnancy. Next year, though, I just HAVE to go. Never thought I'd miss those 14 hour drives. As background for new people, I was eight years old when we moved from Albion to Astoria, and my life was never the same after that. I loved my life on a ranch in CA. Now, I am thankful for God putting me where he did, or I might have turned out very different. I might not have gone to Gonzaga or met my husband or a lot of things.

It's a rather interesting area of CA. Just type Mendocino County into www.google.com, and you'll see what I mean. It's history is fascinating. Russians, fishermen, loggers, sheep ranchers, even Basque folks from Spain. Then hippies, high quality marijuana, and much organic living, and oh, homeschooling! Very, very hippie. Now it's very wine tasting and touristy. And still absolutely the most gorgeous place on earth. You can get to places in Mendocino County that make you feel like you are completely alone on the planet. Easily. Just be careful what car you drive where, or you might really get stuck up in the hills. I'm not real sure AAA can find you, but the tow truck driver in Philo probably can! He fixed our RV on the spot last summer. He was AWESOME. The baling twine and duct tape kind of person you want to get to know. You have to be like that to be a mechanic out there!

I was born in Ukiah, but in between Albion and Ukiah, there is a tiny little town called Boonville. If you think that sounds like the "boonies", well, it is. Sheep ranchers, mostly, or it used to be. Great county fair and sheep dog trials. TINY town. Strangely enough, it must have been just isolated enough to develop its own lingo. I had no idea I would find it on wikipedia, but there it was, today. No kidding! I didn't know it made it on the Late Night Show with Johnny Carson! It's kind of like pigeon English in Hawaii, but I'm sure it has a different sound. I wonder if there is a recording anywhere?

Gosh, I love that place. Here is the link, and you can have some fun reading it.
Reader, meet "Boontling"!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boontling

Christmas 2004, my how time has passed.

2009-05-24T09:47:00.000-07:00

Today, on a whim, I decided to find some of our oldest digital pictures of the kids. We bought a camera with a gift certificate from the Zink's in 2004, between Grace's birth in October and Christmas. Now it 2009. Wow. How'd that happen?

These are all from Christmas. They include Gabe, age 4, Brandon, age 2, and Grace, age 2-3 months. Now they are 9, 6, and 4, with a 2 year old and one on the way since then!

Life is so precious. You don't want to waste one moment wishing for something different. I loved the movie, "The Incredibles" because of the line from the mom, Helen, "This, our life, is what's happening now, and you're missing it, Bob!" That really struck home for us. Don't wish the future on yourselves so much you miss THIS!

That's why they call it The Present.

PS. My favorite is the toes picture of Grace. Doesn't she have great toes? :)
PPS. I look greedy in the picture because DH got me "My Precious", the complete Lord of the Rings Trilogy on DVD.

Good morning

2009-05-22T08:26:00.000-07:00

I've been up since 5am. Poop death and destruction. I'm putting off the laundry and the kids' breakfast. I am a bad mom.
I just had to share.

I really hate when they have this kind of yuckiness.

We got a really cool piano from some friends yesterday. The keyboard kind, but it takes up very little space compared to a "real" piano. I will pay the nice people soon, but I'm thrilled to have it. Gabe loves to teach himself, and this will be a lot easier.
I should probably ask Mom if she wants the old one back.

Today is a beautiful day, it's Memorial Day weekend, and Brandon has an IEP meeting today for speech.

Our friends' son is in the hospital for a month, so please pray for the Barrett's. Basically, based on habit and juvenile arthritis pain, he is nine years old and has basically decided never to eat. It's not a real and true eating disorder, like bulimia or anorexia, it's just that he simply is very unhealthy, and nothing can convince him he needs to eat. Now that his stomach has shrunk, it hurts to eat anyway. This should be a long haul for their family, so please lift them up in prayer. They have five kids, ranging from... 18? Down to 2.

I now have two cub scouts, not just one. Brandon and Gabe got to go up in the ranks last night at our rocket derby, and now I have a Tiger and a Webelos 1. More meetings for us next year! Brandon is beyond excited. He's been waiting three years. I teased him that I'm not getting his uniform til Sept, for his birthday. He does not think that's funny.

Ok, random post is over now. Enjoy your glorious three day weekend!

Prepping for Parenthood

2009-05-19T13:00:00.001-07:00

Can I die laughing? I stole this from a new friend on Facebook. I very rarely friend people I've never met, but today I did. The comments on my college friend's page were just too much for either of us to resist. So fun! I'll probably never even meet this person! But we obviously share a sense of humor, as seen below:

FOLLOW THESE 14 SIMPLE TESTS BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO HAVE CHILDREN.

Test 1 - Preparation
Women: To prepare for pregnancy:-
1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.

Men: To prepare for children:-
1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter &
tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their
head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper & read it for the last time.

Test 2 - Knowledge
Find a couple who are already parents & berate them about their methods of
discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels & how they
have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might
improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners &
overall behavior.
Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the
answers.

Test 3 - Nights
To discover how the nights will feel:
1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing
approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious
sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight & go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm & walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am & make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.

Test 4 - Dressing Small Children
1. Buy a live octopus & a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang out.
Time Allowed: 5 minutes.

Test 5 - Cars
1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone & put it in the glove compartment. Leave it
there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Test 6 - Going For a Walk
Wait
Go out the front door
Come back in again
Go out
Come back in again
Go out again
Walk down the front path
Walk back up it
Walk down it again
Walk very slowly down the road for 5 minutes.
Stop, inspect minutely & ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used
chewing gum, dirty tissue & dead insect along the way.
Retrace your steps
Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come
out & stare at you.
Give up & go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Test 7
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

Test 8 - Grocery Shopping
1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find
to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to
have more than 1 child, take more than 1 goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having
children.

Test 9 - Feeding a 1 year-old
1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling & swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes & attempt to spoon them into the
swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the
floor.

Test 10 - TV
1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies &
Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

Test 11 - Mess
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa & jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo & leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds & then rub them on clean walls. Cover
the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor &
leave it there.

Test 12 - Long Trips with Toddlers
1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes:
No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional
crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13 - Conversations
1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while
playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child
in the room.

Test 14 - Getting ready for work
1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream & put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work

You are now ready to have children.

Notre Dame Response

2009-05-16T13:01:00.001-07:00

There's been a lot in the paper about Notre Dame inviting President Obama to their commencement tomorrow. There's also been a lot of stupid commentary. Several news commentators think that some "rogue Catholics" are trying to tell the US president how to think, even though he's not Catholic. No, we are not. We are asking a Catholic University to uphold Catholic teaching. We are not asking non-Catholics to do anything. The bishops and archbishops are shepherds of Catholics, not everyone, and they know that. By keeping silent, they are letting their flock be mislead. They've been patient a long time, perhaps thinking people would come around, but it's only gotten worse. Many people think that the few students who've decided to protest and not attend their own graduation are a bunch of lunatics. They are not. They apparently went to a Catholic university on purpose, not because it was The Fighting Irish. It's not just for the football, people.

I don't know where this is going, but it's going somewhere. We are not infringing on others' opinions, we are simply asking Catholic institutions to BE Catholic, and if they don't want to be, then please feel free to leave. Flaunting the request of bishops is not at all the job of a university president. I know academia has gotten into the habit of disobedience, but it has got to stop.

Another fun thing I keep seeing in comments after news articles is that "the Catholic Church's biggest worry should be that it will be a much smaller church if all these people leave." YES! It WOULD be! I don't remember the Bible asking us to keep a certain number of followers of Christ. It asks us to be faithful. If we cannot do that, there are many other churches to belong to, and that's ok. If that's their journey of faith, let them follow it. What I'm tired of is people trying to "liberalize" the Church. It's the body of Christ! Christ isn't modern enough because he doesn't go along with what the world wants? Since when??
Anyway, I'm done with that soapbox... for now. Let us continue to be "a sign of contradiction."

Please enjoy this video from NDresponse.com

Save Poca

2009-05-14T07:19:00.001-07:00

This is quite a story, yet another from my great state of WA. We were foster parents, and we had great social workers. I hope whoever has a power trip loses their job. This is very sad, and not completely unheard of. Too bad it has to get to the Today Show to get the governor to intervene. Go Dick and Amy!!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Please pray for this mom

2009-05-12T18:27:00.000-07:00

Facebook sure does get the news out quick. Someone I knew in high school, Melissa Westley, posted that her son "was killed" the night before Mother's Day. She said no more about it except how much pain she was in. She is a single mom with two other kids, both girls. I can't imagine her pain. Today there was finally an article in the local paper.

http://www.dailyastorian.com/main.asp?SectionID=2&SubSectionID=398&ArticleID=60827

That he died right in front of her is impossible to fathom as a mom. Please pray for healing and hope on the other end of the darkness she is in right now, and for all those affected.

And thank God if your family is alive and well.

Happy Mother's Day!

2009-05-10T07:31:00.001-07:00

Happy Mother's Day! Nine years ago, I got a present for Mother's Day, and also flowers all the way from Gonzaga, because I couldn't be there for my friends' graduation, I was busy giving birth exactly one year after my own college graduation! I have to say, I was not predicting that!!

But I'm so glad my oldest child is here, alive and well. We sure were panicked when he showed up, but it all turned out well. I wish more people knew that it all gets better if you just work hard and make good, right, and sometimes hard decisions. To the moms who do that every day, and the dads who help them, Happy Day to YOU!

I'm stealing this today for your Mother's Day quote from President Teddy Roosevelt. Good man, good man.

http://donotbediscouraged.blogspot.com/2009/05/happy-mothers-day.html

And from Organic and Thrifty, we have an intro to the fun of Farmer's Markets this summer: http://oreganicthrifty.blogspot.com/2009/05/to-market-to-market-we-go.html

AND, this was an awesome video. Actually, I will just link you to this blog, too. The 9 minute video is worth watching, to see how someone totally transformed their yard and now they have 6000 lbs of produce from about 1/8 of a football field per year. The only sad thing for me is OF COURSE they can do that! They live in Pasadena! But still, it is beautiful, and I'm working on my own jungle paradise here.

http://salesianity.blogspot.com/2009/05/living-real-simple-life.html

Here's to a beautiful summer!

Snapshot of now

2009-05-08T07:52:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while, I like to do a kind of diary entry. So here goes.

1. I'm pregnant. I will be for six more months, God willing. The progesterone levels are staying good, so maybe if they are excellent next Wed. I'll experiment with getting off. If they drop, I get back on. The dr. said I can run it myself, and so I shall. At least I have last time's data to go on.

2. We are three weeks away from the end of the homeschooling year. Yay us! Brandon is technically done with kindergarten, but I try to play with his brain anyway. Gabe is slogging through the end of fourth grade. He'll be nine years old tomorrow. Yes, I know the age and grade do not match, but that's where we are at. He is doing a lot of whining today, but I reminded him that if he gets it done today, tomorrow he can enjoy his birthday. Noooooooooo....! Yeah, get on with it, kid. I think I'll start Grace on real kindergarten next year. I'd like to let her try an actual preschool next year, while she still can, outside the home, but I will have to see if we have two cars then, because I can't bet on having a car if we're still sharing, due to shift changes every three months. She says she wants to go to "little girl school". Hilarious.

3. My DH came up with something just wonderful. We took the entire Financial Peace University course with Dave Ramsey (thank you Ray and Elizabeth!), and I was really struggling to make mvelopes.com work, and I couldn't really make a paper budget work either, but finally, my amazing, smart, awesome husband came up with an Excel spreadsheet of the Dave Ramsey allocated spending plan. THANK GOD! Because now, guess what?? I don't have to do MATH! I can totally enter numbers, so long as I don't have to crunch them! So I just enter the numbers, and three months of budget changes magically!! We have May, June and July, and we added things like going to a wedding, soccer camp, and computer parts, so we know ahead of time if it's going to work or not, instead of crossing our fingers. Also, what we both like best is that we aren't going to fight about it. I used to say, "Honey, there is NO MONEY for what you want to buy, no matter how much we need it!" and he'd say, "Oh, come one, there has to be!", and being really lame with numbers, I couldn't really show him why, but I was sure of it. Now, he can look for himself, re-crunch the numbers if necessary, and happily prioritize what we'll buy during what month. For instance, running shoes are needed, but won't be bought til well into June. Yay us! Thank goodness my husband is not just like me. This is an excellent invention. Right now he's trying to tweak it so that I can enter what I've actually spent, day by day, vs. the goal for that paycheck. We'll see how that turns out, but right now I'm super happy with this the way it is!

4. I really need to get the oil changed and the wheels done at Toyota of Kirkland. Do I want to go down there with all the kids today, or shall I put it off til next week? I'm thinking next week, but the oil change needs to happen today. We're 2000 miles over, and that makes me uncomfy as we are rapidly approaching the 100K mark on this wonderful 2001 Toyota Sienna XLE. I love my car. Too bad it's the commuter car for now, til we can buy a real commuter car. We used to use the bus, but it's impossible now for my husband to do, so we're kind of stuck sharing again. At least we are good at it. This must change, though, before the baby comes. And it very likely will. We have plans.

5. Summer is almost here. My garden is growing, it's supposed to be beautiful tomorrow, and park days for homeschoolers have started as of yesterday. I love summer around here. There is sooooo much we can do.

6. My friend Jennifer Wagner Estes passed away from cancer after six years' fight last week. I am sad, but glad for her that it's over. I think some of her closer friends are having a harder time than I am, and I pray for them. It is hard. She was such a beautiful person.

7. I'd like to ask prayers for a friend of mine whose marriage is already rather shaky, her housing is a bit shaky, and her fourth child is probably going to be diagnosed with autism. She has to wait three months for a full eval. This is going to be very hard on them, I think. Having rather extensive experience with autism and the effect on families as a whole, it's going to really be quite a cross for this family in particular. I kind of thought so after babysitting the child in question last fall, and I'm really glad they are getting help while he's still about 3 years old. God bless them!

8. I'd just like to say a prayer for families whose families of origin can't or won't agree to be on friendly terms. We have issues in our families just like everyone else, but I wish they were better. Sometimes I read amazing stories of families getting better, of a horrible father finally realizing his problem and becoming a great dad after 10 or 20 years, things like that. And I realize I'm not supposed to give up on anyone. But how can I hope when some people are completely unreasonable, and over the last ten years it has only gotten worse, to the point where we barely communicate and don't want to expose our children to the brainwashing craziness? It's really hard to want your kids to know a family member, but to think it mentally unsafe to strengthen that shaky bond. Where do you decide to break the cycle, and where do decide to forgive and forget over and over and over? I guess there's nothing really to do except pray.

9. My husband has bad cholesterol, and so that diet post from last time is something we're working on. My numbers are fantastic, but his are not, and a lot of it is genetic. He really got the short end of the stick in his family genetic code. Diet and exercise are of course a start, so we're working harder on both, and those Microsoft benefits are awesome. He gets a nutritionist! Yay! It's not like we eat out already, but if there are changes to be made, we'll make them. I made a heck of a Trader Joe's run yesterday.

10. Our will arrived at the front door yesterday. If you need a will, I recommend our college friend Jeremy Yates at Ascension Law in Seattle. He is a good guy and did a great job. We have a paper copy and a CD of everything. Thanks, Jeremy! And for our friends who might get our kids if anything happens, don't worry, we intend to stay alive. Doubling your family size overnight is not a nice thing for us to do to you! :)

Ok, all done now. Now, extra coffee, or no more, you're cut off.... that is the question.

I went to the Catholic homeschooling conference....

2009-05-03T17:40:00.000-07:00

... and I hardly spent any money! Yay me! It takes a lot of will power not to spend at least $300 while there, but since I didn't even have $50, well, that wasn't so hard, now, was it?

What I did come away with was... new blogs to haunt! Heaven!

I also came away with a profound respect for the other moms and dads who maneuver this tiny subculture we have. The funny part is, it doesn't feel tiny to me, because the people I hang out with most are part of it. Generally, we're all like the book "Crunchy Cons" and our priorities move in those circles more or less. So, most of us homeschool, most of us actually believe in what the Catholic Church teaches, to each letter of the Cathecism of the Catholic Church (CCC), including our use of NFP. We generally lean toward hippie-like tendencies, like organic food, city chickens, camping, etc. Now, some of us would be offended by the label "hippie", but if that's being good stewards of the Earth, then we are doing that, a la the book of Genesis. :) We are all trying to create our own, fairly innocent, well-formed Garden of Eden. And then we'll see where that goes from there.

That all said, there were a healthy mix of opportunities when it came to the speakers at the conference. The website for the conference is www.nwcatholicconference.com and it will have lots of notes on it in a jiffy from all the speakers. I'm very thankful for this, because I couldn't get there before noon, and when I was there, I could hardly hear or was mightily distracted by four children. They were actually very good, I might add, most of the time. We did have a stealing incident, but that was well taken care of by a personal apology and note. Happily, I know the vendor, and she has nine kids and 21 grandkids! She says she's been there, done that. And Mr. Six Year Old was suitably embarrassed, which was a big relief to me. They had a great time with all kinds of kids their age and other ages. Gabe learned lots of chess, soccer, football and Catholic trivia, and we all learned my kids are very, very attracted to small plastic knights from China and also the math program Math U See. Which is expensive, but just might be worth it for aforementioned six year old. He was all over it. Happily, someone I know will be letting me borrow the lowest level. Thank goodness for the generosity of homeschoolers!

I have a few websites for you. Ready? Get set? GO.

Think organic is too expensive? This lady has got some great tips and stories for you! Search around. She swears raw milk saved her small son from nastiness. Very good reading:

Organic and Thrifty

Meredith Henning on incorporating the Liturgical Year into your home. Mondays with Mary is her first book, and it's adorable. Here is her blog:

http://happyheartsmom.typepad.com/

and here is where you can order her book(think tea and crumpets with Marian Holy Days): https://www.lulu.com/commerce/index.php?fBuyContent=6582999

Robin Betz's notes from her talk called "Prioritizing With Blinders On":

http://www.nwcatholicconference.com/Notes/PrioritizingWithBlindersOnByRobinBetz.pdf

Cooking "Traditional Foods", meaning stuff we ate before we refined everything last century:

http://www.cookingtf.com/

And lastly, I need to mention the absolutely coolest homeschooling book I have read in ages. It deserves (and will likely get) its own post. It doesn't just talk about socialization for kids, it spells out socialization for families, meaning parents! And how to do it, and NOT do it. Let's just say I've run over her most important rule, oh, I don't know, constantly? But that doesn't mean I don't agree with her. She's right. I just have a very weak spot when it comes to fairly innocent gossip and then putting my foot in my mouth so it's not so innocent, and if I just shut my mouth altogether like she says, I'd never get my foot in there.... sigh. That's why they invented Confession. :P

Here is the book and the link to her blog. Buy the book if you can. It's worth it!

Cottage Blessings: A Haystack Full of Needles

I think my favorite part of the book is that socialization was why she was most opposed to homeschooling in the beginning, and now she thinks that might be its best strength! From what she wrote, I agree with her! Thank you, Alice, for writing this... we all need it! Even those whose kids are not being homeschooled. If you are a parent, it's a great read. Esp. a Catholic parent, but really, any parent.

Ok (puff, puff), think I've blogged enough today. Phew! Thanks for sticking with me, and happy hunting!!

Another cool widget! (and a baby heartbeat)

2009-04-27T16:11:00.000-07:00

Number one, today I saw our new OB with my husband, and he thinks he'll do, so that's good, because I didn't want to go doctor hunting. He's very experienced, laid back, and is ok with my progesterone issues, though he doesn't take it as seriously as the doc who first told me how important it could be. He's really leaving it up to me, how much I want to take and for how long. I was a bit incredulous, as I'm used to the doctor wanting to be in charge of such things. I guess that works for me! He also said my official due date is November 24th, and that I am, as of today, 10 weeks along. So my baby ticker widget is a little slow.

I also put up a cute bookshelf widget. I will try to update it as I move onto other books. I'm not technically reading the Susie Lloyd book yet, but I want to be! I've hinted very strongly for Mother's Day....

I have quite a variety I'm reading right now. I just pick up whatever I'm interested in on a given evening, and read it. And if my mood is different, I do something else for a while. So I'm usually reading at least 2 books at a time, sometimes 5.

I hope the sun is shining where you are, it certainly is here!

And people wonder why I homeschool...

2009-04-26T10:43:00.000-07:00

I just ran into an astounding history lesson yesterday.

I really love the author Jean Fritz. She does a good job on history books, making historical stories of important people come alive. I was reading Around the World in 100 Years, which covers everyone from Henry the Navigator to Ferdinand Magellan. It's really fascinating stuff.

But then I came to this quote, and a couple of others, which rubbed me the wrong way. I decided to find out if they were true. In reading her biography, I find she was born in China in 1915, of missionary parents. It's possible her usually accurate history was colored by some anti-Christian/Catholic bias, like so many other people's. I mean, it is rampant, after all. I'm amazed at how much "history" is not even true, or at least extremely one-sided. And I'm fascinated with uncovering history from "the other side".

Here's the first, on pages 11-12.
"(After Ptolemy)... Then suddenly all this wondering and figuring stopped. Christianity was the new religion, fighting for survival, and in AD 391 Christians burned the city of Alexandria and its famous libraries, which contained, along with many ancient treasures of scholarship, the work of Ptolemy. Christians did not believe in scholarship. They thought it was sacrilegious to be curious. Anything people wanted to know, they said, could be found in the Bible. So when they drew maps, they put Jerusalem at the center of the world...."

First of all, the Bible was still being settled on, so there was not really a "Bible" yet. Secondly, not all Christians felt this way, but some of their leaders did, like most problems in history. Thirdly, that library had been attacked several times already, it turns out, and that was just one of the last of several attacks, and the only one by Christians.

Here is a link for you to read, so you can see what I mean.

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2233/what-happened-to-the-great-library-of-alexandria

Don't even get me started on the Reformation or the Inquisition....

A real Shepherd

2009-04-25T21:33:00.001-07:00

Wow. I'm blown away. How about you? Really, it's a pdf file worth reading, from a Right To Life convention in Kansas.

http://www.diocese-kcsj.org/_docs/Gospel-of-Life-04-09.pdf

And a hat tip to Fr. Farfaglia, who is also endorsing the movie "Fireproof", and saying how it helps him, because he is married to his parish.

Thoughts on the world right now

2009-04-25T20:44:00.000-07:00

I guess this might be a snapshot into my brain, and it will probably come out jumbled, which will be somewhat amusing to some people. I will give it a go, though.

Being on Facebook has done a lot to help me understand where people are coming from. I have VERY strong convictions on a number of things, mostly having to do with being a Catholic who actually thinks that guy with the hat at the Vatican actually knows what he is talking about, and so did every guy before him all he way back to Peter. Jesus gave him the keys, and every successor, when speaking from the Chair of Peter, has spoken truth since then. Even the sinful Popes have done so. Amazing.

My strong convictions have to do with abortion, birth control, liberalism, the government's place in our lives, and how to be a faithful Catholic. I guess it comes down to people taking long-term responsibility for their lives, and having a long view of how certain personal and political decisions are going to play out, not just for this year, bur for 100 years. Not to mention in the next life.

I've been reading Bill O'Reilly's "Culture Warrior", and it's better than I expected. He spells things out that are a problem in society. He also spells out what the media is up and why, and what he's done right and also wrong over the years in trying to dissect the liberal media. It's incredibly interesting, really. The part I do like, is that he'll say right away what he likes and what he doesn't like about a person, and he's fair about it. Al Franken? Outright liar, not even with brains. And he provides very obvious proof. Molly Ivins, doesn't agree with her, but thinks she has a brain. I find this very interesting.

Why do I find this interesting? Well, it comes back to Facebook, too. What I have found out lately is that, even more than I thought, you simply cannot put most people in boxes. I think God is beating me over the head, trying to teach me this, but at least I'm open to learning it. I'm not sure if enough people are. OK, I'm quite, quite sure not enough people are.

For instance, on Facebook, I have VERY liberal friends. I have VERY conservative friends. I have friends who have stated they think government has a bigger say over my children than I do. I have friends who think feminism was the beginning of all our problems, and should be abolished. I have a friend who is gay, and very pro-life, too. I have a protestant cousin operating an MAF base in Kathmandu who is able to tell me that people will change the world long before any government does, because her husband was one of the first to fly into Aceh Province after the great big tsunami a few years ago.

Today I thought I was having a nice discussion with someone about that. I think she got mad at me. It's a relative of a friend of mine, and most of the family is pretty liberal, but I was explaining to her that my cousin said that Aceh was formerly a very fundamental Muslim, Christian-and-Western Civ-hating group of people. Those who did somehow survive the tsunami found out that their government was not the first to bring supplies. Christian missionaries were. And those missionaries could speak the language. And that mattered. It mattered much more than the UN troops or anyone else did. Because these were people, and they cared, and they brought hope and love and food and medication. The woman I spoke to (and her relative) seemed to think, "Well, government SHOULD help its people." Nobody can really disagree with that. But, does it? When has it? Really? Over a long period of time, across several leaders, have you ever seen a government really provide for its people on a large scale, without giving up some serious freedom? Or has it become corrupt? The only organizations I see making a real difference in the third world right now are the private ones. Heifer International, The Gates Foundation, all the religious... but not the governments. They send money, and it gets eaten. When you send people, things really start to happen. Because people to people matters. Somehow, I thought that "people make the real difference" would actually strike a chord with a liberal mindset person. But instead, the conversation ended rather abruptly. I thought they were all about people power. I'm so confused....

In Bill O'Reilly's book, he says that die-hard liberals want their government to provide for them. They think that is what it is FOR. He counters that thought by saying that our founding fathers think the government is a clearinghouse to make and centralize laws and to manage infrastructure, but to basically get out of the way of the people so they have opportunities to succeed. If they fail to grasp that opportunity, that's their own problem. Free will is like that. The number of laws we have is just staggering. They've taken the place of common sense. It just amazes me that folks think more laws and more government are what we need, but again, I can see what they mean. Obvious to me, though, is that it isn't the system so much that is broken, but the people in it who are allowed by other people to be greedy.

I could go on and on about this book, but I won't here.

What I have learned lately, is that as much as I personally dislike being put in the "conservative Catholic lotsa kids NFP homeschooler nutjob" category, my liberal friends who are pro-life are very annoyed at being called "right wing terrorists" recently in a homeland security memo. No one should be in a box. We're simply more convenient to handle if we are put in them and told what to think. Sometimes we listen too attentively to people and let ourselves be put in a box. Protestants believe what their pastor tells them about Catholics, because, religion being his business, of course he would know. Except he doesn't. People who are like me often make the same mistake. And I am tired of the name calling. I think sometimes, as we get older, we have our friends and we don't like to become uncomfortable by making friends with people who strongly disagree with us, whose minds we are not likely to change. It IS uncomfortable, but I think it's worth it. Still trying to figure out if the stress I feel sometimes really is worth it.

So ponder whether you are in a box, and whether you have been boxing people lately. I know I have. I think it is human error. But like all human error, with some prayer and determination, we can all work to be better. And we should keep up dialogue when at all possible with people we strongly disagree with. We don't have to change our priorities and minds, we don't have to give up positions we'd lay down our lives for. Just listening is good for us.

A self-esteem problem these days

2009-04-24T16:55:00.000-07:00

I love The Common Room. I'm like some creepy hanger-on, who just can't get enough. Shame on me.

Here's another gem. I think it describes a lot of our societal ills that are getting worse perfectly. I know it explains a few relatives I know... :P

We Have A Self Esteem Problem

Miss CA is honest, thank goodness

2009-04-22T14:24:00.000-07:00

Since the whole debacle made me mad enough to spit, I will just give you a link from CNN. This particular columnist is not my favorite guy most of the time, but this time he said exactly, exactly, what I was thinking.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/04/22/martin.miss.california/index.html

You know what else makes me super mad? Several times I've had this happen. I've even lost a facebook friend over it. "Gays should be allowed to marry, and you shouldn't be against it, because you are in a bi-racial marriage, and that used to be illegal, too."

BARF!

Yes, racism is wrong. I like being married to my husband, yes! But it just is not the same thing! That's a law that was different in different countries, times, and places, and changed a lot over the centuries. But marriage between two people who have the same body parts? If people want the ability to leave their partner things in their will, and to say yay or nay when someone is brain dead, and even to have shared insurance benefits, I'm ok with that. Not my cup of tea, but I'm not against it. But marriage has ALWAYS been defined as man and woman, for the closeness of the relationship, and for procreation. It's natural law, and it's law according to almost any common sense in the world, no matter what religion you are or aren't. Changing the meaning of marriage cheapens it. My opinion, but also that of many, many others.

I hope you enjoy the above article.